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Old 03-15-2019, 02:24 PM
 
290 posts, read 76,796 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numsgal View Post
DH and I would laugh (later, not at the time) when one of our neighbors would claim he could, "write a check for $750,000 right now." He was proud of how much he had and felt the need to share it. We never told him we could write a check for quite a bit more than his.


We are the quiet millionaires next door. We live in a low middle class area in a 1700 sq. ft. house on an acre of land. The neighbors all know we have some money, but not how much. We just don't speak about it. We have made a couple of large purchases in the past year, but no one knows whether it was paid for with cash or with credit. We just don't answer those questions when they come up.
I understand this, but I also think it's good to talk about this stuff more, to a point. So many people do the wrong things because 'everyone else does it'. Setting a good example can help a lot of people realize there are better ways to do things than spending it all and financing when you already spent it all. Obviously, it shouldn't be done in a bragging way, but I'm proud to tell people that we pay cash for our vehicles and other things. I think it sets a good example and gives people an opportunity to ask questions from someone who is a better example than their broke parents. Otherwise, the only influences they will have will be bad ones. They can't find a good example if all the good examples are in hiding, disguised to look like other broke people.
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:27 PM
 
68,679 posts, read 69,408,200 times
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Good post..
I have said so many times here ,that mantra live below your means is basically meaningless and not actionable ..

Means is always variable based on life .. what you really are talking is the ratio of discretionary vs non discretionary spending ..after all , your bills may very will fit within your income , but when one of life’s awe craps hit you may have no where to cut back when everything is a need
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Old 03-16-2019, 12:03 AM
 
934 posts, read 455,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
Good post..
I have said so many times here ,that mantra live below your means is basically meaningless and not actionable ..

Means is always variable based on life .. what you really are talking is the ratio of discretionary vs non discretionary spending ..after all , your bills may very will fit within your income , but when one of life’s awe craps hit you may have no where to cut back when everything is a need
Most people can live below their means. It’s not hard. Discipline.
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Old 03-16-2019, 01:03 AM
 
25,445 posts, read 27,784,579 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cabound1 View Post
Most people can live below their means. It’s not hard. Discipline.
I often find it hard to wrap my head around even calling it discipline. I guess I'm a weirdo, but I live below my means because it makes my life easier. I don't see it as requiring discipline at all. The earning money part is the difficult part. Once you earn enough for the very basics, life gets better and less stressful when you have savings and investments. But I know other people don't see it that way. I'd rather be weird.
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Old 03-16-2019, 02:25 AM
 
68,679 posts, read 69,408,200 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cabound1 View Post
Most people can live below their means. It’s not hard. Discipline.
as i said , they just need to know what that " live below your means " is supposed to mean .. it is NOT simply spending less then you take in ...

it really is a lot more complex and as stated in the book really has to do with the ratio of discretionary to non discretionary spending ...

simply living below what you take in may leave little room for cutting back a thing when that supposed means varies as it always does through life.

we could have lived in manhattan instead of queens for the same budget . but that ratio would have been very small and if we needed to cut back because of an event we would have little slack to do so .
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Old 03-16-2019, 07:47 AM
 
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You can read all the books you want to, go to all the seminars you hear about - pay someone to tell you what to do and the. Do or do not do it.

As long as less goes out compared to what comes in you are saving. That is the first step.
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Old 03-16-2019, 08:46 AM
 
45 posts, read 11,295 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LLinVA View Post
I understand this, but I also think it's good to talk about this stuff more, to a point. So many people do the wrong things because 'everyone else does it'. Setting a good example can help a lot of people realize there are better ways to do things than spending it all and financing when you already spent it all. Obviously, it shouldn't be done in a bragging way, but I'm proud to tell people that we pay cash for our vehicles and other things. I think it sets a good example and gives people an opportunity to ask questions from someone who is a better example than their broke parents. Otherwise, the only influences they will have will be bad ones. They can't find a good example if all the good examples are in hiding, disguised to look like other broke people.

No one asks, though. One neighbor is a good friend and she knows we have "some" money. I know about how much she has only because I helped her straighten out things when her husband died.



Some neighbors we wouldn't tell. They'd just bad mouth us even more than they currently do.


If other neighbors asked, we would tell them. Those are the people, though, who are happy to make due with what they have. They couldn't care less what we have.
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Old 03-16-2019, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
11,368 posts, read 3,816,881 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OneDayAttaTime View Post
This 10 year old thread The Millionaire Next Door....Have you read it? took a long time to read through. I compiled my favorite parts which still seem valid today along with a few comments from wealthy friends. Hope it is not too long as I enjoyed these so much and wanted to share.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


LIVING WITHIN YOUR MEANS’ VS ‘LIVING BELOW YOUR MEANS’
Buying on credit is not 'living within your means'. Those who believe they 'live within their means’ simply because they are able to make the monthly payments on their debt, could find their financial situation quickly changed due to a divorce, job loss, the economy tanks or some catastrophic illness. There may be little discretionary spending to cut back on especially for those who say they find it impossible to save money.

When just starting out, those who live 'below their means’, typically reap the benefits of their savings long before retirement age and are more likely to become millionaires than those who don’t. 'Living below ones means’ is the key!

Yet, pop media and culture have convinced many people that to be wealthy means living a fancy, high end life, while being frugal is admitting economic failure. Because nobody wants to be seen as an economic failure, many spend their money the way they mistakenly assume the wealthy do. Like a peacock flashing his tail to be admired, many people like to give the semblance of affluence.

While someone driving a high-end Mercedes Benz gives the appearance of making a lot of money, in reality high end earners who spend heavily, often have very little wealth. Should they lose their source of income they may be worse off than the poor.

Many who prize "things" more than financial security are often up to their necks in debt, careening toward disaster, in an attempt to impress others who most likely don’t care. Purchasing short-term extravagances doesn't build the same wealth as putting money into items with lasting value.

There is a big difference between looking rich and being wealthy.There are people who make $250,000 and are in debt. Believing they don't have a 'reason' to budget, their standard-of-living often matches their income. They "throw money away with both hands" buying whatever they want, then have to scrimp on other things. Don't let your standard-of-living match what you have in your pocket.

Dave Ramsey reminds us "Don't try to keep up with the Joneses because they are broke."

There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth. -Proverbs 13:7

Although roughly 1:10 households in the US are millionaires, you can NOT assess a person's financial status by observing how he or she lives. Millionaires often do not look, dress, eat or act like most folks preconceived idea of a millionaire as their ego is not fed by the appearance of wealth.

While some Americans believe frugality has to do with being poor, the reality is that a surprising number of wealthy people are frugal, while many poor people are not. Being frugal is not the same as being cheap, greedy or poor.

The wealthy didn't get that way by wasting their money. They tend to know the value of a dollar and are often frugal by choice, rather than necessity. The authors of the book 'The Millionaire Next Door' explain that from their research, frugality is commonly found to exist in about 94% of all American Millionaires.

Often poor people simply have poor ways. Let's say for example someone with no money management skills receive a bit of extra money, or a financial windfall, (an insurance check for thousands of dollars) and "run with their hair on fire" splurging and buying things until they blow it all.

Money provides a way to take care of your family now, and in the future. A job loss when one has money in the bank to fall back on is less stressful when one knows they they won't be running up debt within a month trying to keep up with bills. The feeling of security makes it easier to sleep at night.

Don't save just for the purpose of living larger in retirement than you do in your younger days. There's no guarantee you'll be healthy enough or even live to retirement to appreciate the extra money. Once your youth and vitality are gone, all the money in the world won’t buy it back. life is too short to live a pathetic sad life to save a buck. There isn't a special prize for skimping on the nicer toilet paper or other life's pleasures and dying a millionaire, so enjoy yourself a little bit while you can. Life is about having balance between living and saving and not going to extremes. Find the balance that works for you. Live frugally but don't over do it. Spend some, save some. Looking back you won't regret spending a little more money doing things when you could have. Don't miss some killer opportunities over just a few hundred dollars that in the big scheme of things won't make much difference.
Love me some Proverbs 13:7 because that guy is me, although I wouldn't say I have "great wealth", but compared to most of the people on this planet, I do. I am simply not interested in owning things or in impressing others. I drive a decent car, live in a middle class neighborhood, and am not flashy with anything. But if my job disappeared tomorrow I probably wouldn't care. And that's a good feeling to have.
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Old 03-16-2019, 10:15 PM
 
322 posts, read 127,990 times
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We are frugal and I pretend to be below middle class. I LOVE to live BELOW are means. This is because if you live below your means, you are less stressed about money and a bit happier.
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Old 03-17-2019, 02:14 AM
 
68,679 posts, read 69,408,200 times
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not me ,,, i grew up low income in a nyc housing project .. it has been a lifetime goal for me to live the best life i can afford and not scrimp pretending to be poorer than i am . i had enough of that life . most of all i swore to myself raising my own family in a project was never going to be an option .

so far so good ... we are retired and live a comfortable lifestyle in new york city .

i enjoy money for the things it can buy and the choices it gives us ...others like looking at their balance sheet more then the things money can buy .. to each of us money represents something different ...

Last edited by mathjak107; 03-17-2019 at 02:43 AM..
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