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Old 05-18-2009, 08:23 AM
 
596 posts, read 2,501,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
I have to agree. We have family members who for years and years ,complained and complained about "not being able to afford" things and now that "frugal is in" they claim that they have always lived a frugal life because they have wanted to,not because they HAVE to.
They always have comments now about how people spend their money wastefully and that they just don't want to do what others are doing...
They are constantly saying things like "it is better to be frugal than broke" and "we don't spend our money like that" "we are smart with our money"...
It is almost like now they are enjoying the fact that they are with the "in" crowd because people are being a little more wise with their money..
Not sure,just know that it becomes a little irratating.
We have never judged them before for the way they have lived but yet they seem to now always be judging the way others are living...
This could be us, I'm afraid. I'm glad I posted my question and I will have to keep this in mind. Thanks so much for responding. We definitely HAD to watch our money for years and years. The difference is, I didnt know "frugal is in" - HAHA! It must be the economy - I can tell marketing is leaning towards this crowd, thats for sure. Thanks again.
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Old 05-18-2009, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Home is where the heart is
15,400 posts, read 25,304,140 times
Reputation: 18984
Quote:
Originally Posted by jctx View Post
You would be amazed at the numbers of Coach bags you can find at the Salvation Army store if you go often enough. Our Salvation Army sells all bags for $2.99! We placed our education needs above all wants for so many years, and now that our income is great due to the education investment, we will never overspend, I hope.
This is a perfect example of a good thing to say and a not-so-good thing to say to your friends.


A comment like: "You would be amazed at the numbers of Coach bags you can find at the Salvation Army store if you go often enough. Our Salvation Army sells all bags for $2.99!" is confident and cheerful. When you talk about your lifestyle, this comment is going to go over well.

A comment like: "We placed our education needs above all wants for so many years, and now that our income is great due to the education investment, we will never overspend, I hope." is ok for this forum, but won't go over well when talking with your friends. It's holier than thou--which is another way of saying it sounds judgmental and snide.
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Old 05-18-2009, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,772 posts, read 47,663,244 times
Reputation: 17661
When I had a 'good' income we stretched being frugal as far as we could muster.

We took courses on budgeting and tax-planning. We both volunteered at counseling centers to help others learn to control their budgets and their taxes. By studying as much as we could and leaping into the practical counseling side of it, we learned even more and we put as much of it into practice in our lives as we could.

We routinely saw families around us who were earning the same level of income, but who were not 'able' to invest. So by helping others, in the manner that we did; I think that it served a 'good' purpose.

Our motive was selfish. We knew that I had a pension coming, and we wanted to have as much invested into a portfolio before my retirement date as possible.

It was not motivated to live more cheap than anyone else, rather stay tax-exempt and to build a large Net Worth, before retirement.

I was forced onto pension when I 'High-year-tenured' out of my career field, and now we have a much lower income. In the process we were able to buy a farm and begin building a new house, all with no mortgage.

I see that living frugal is well worth it. It is a good thing to do. And it is important to have a goal, to be working toward.

You never know when calamity will hit you. Both sets of my grandparents lost their farms in the Depression. It can happen at any time. Only you can prepare yourself for a coming disaster.

We were able to save and invest; and get out of that high pressure career field before calamity hit us. But it was risky. There was always the risk that our portfolio could have been lost.

I would urge everyone with a good income to live frugally, to invest and to prepare lest a disaster come to their doorstep.

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Old 05-18-2009, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,507 posts, read 7,845,019 times
Reputation: 3304
Quote:
Originally Posted by normie View Post
This is a perfect example of a good thing to say and a not-so-good thing to say to your friends.


A comment like: "You would be amazed at the numbers of Coach bags you can find at the Salvation Army store if you go often enough. Our Salvation Army sells all bags for $2.99!" is confident and cheerful. When you talk about your lifestyle, this comment is going to go over well.

A comment like: "We placed our education needs above all wants for so many years, and now that our income is great due to the education investment, we will never overspend, I hope." is ok for this forum, but won't go over well when talking with your friends. It's holier than thou--which is another way of saying it sounds judgmental and snide.
No, it wouldn't go over well unless I'm talking to real frugal people. Many others think shopping at Salvation Army, using coupons, hanging out in the clearance racks or price haggling is what you do if you are poor and don't have any other options. It's way beyond frugal in their minds.

Frugal may be 'in' now but most people don't take it to the level of scoping out Salvation Army stores for Coach bags. When they say 'frugal' they mean they will skip ordering the appetizer for dinner or maybe only go out on Friday night instead of Friday and Saturday. Maybe they'll use the Coach purse they had from last season or trade with a friend so they get something 'new' without actually spending the $300 but I assure you, no one I know in the new frugal crowd intends to go from mall shopping to the Salvation Army store. LOL.

It's kind of like the difference between families with old money and new money. They use the same terminology but they all know the difference. There are those of us who are 'old frugal' and a bunch of new people who have recently discovered frugality....we're not in the same league.

It's not a put down or a judgment, but when things pick up these newly frugal people will go back to buying new Coach bags while us old frugal folks will still be hanging out at Salvation Army waiting for them to tire of them.
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Old 05-18-2009, 10:46 AM
 
596 posts, read 2,501,859 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by forest beekeeper View Post
When I had a 'good' income we stretched being frugal as far as we could muster.

We took courses on budgeting and tax-planning. We both volunteered at counseling centers to help others learn to control their budgets and their taxes. By studying as much as we could and leaping into the practical counseling side of it, we learned even more and we put as much of it into practice in our lives as we could.

We routinely saw families around us who were earning the same level of income, but who were not 'able' to invest. So by helping others, in the manner that we did; I think that it served a 'good' purpose.

Our motive was selfish. We knew that I had a pension coming, and we wanted to have as much invested into a portfolio before my retirement date as possible.

It was not motivated to live more cheap than anyone else, rather stay tax-exempt and to build a large Net Worth, before retirement.

I was forced onto pension when I 'High-year-tenured' out of my career field, and now we have a much lower income. In the process we were able to buy a farm and begin building a new house, all with no mortgage.

I see that living frugal is well worth it. It is a good thing to do. And it is important to have a goal, to be working toward.

You never know when calamity will hit you. Both sets of my grandparents lost their farms in the Depression. It can happen at any time. Only you can prepare yourself for a coming disaster.

We were able to save and invest; and get out of that high pressure career field before calamity hit us. But it was risky. There was always the risk that our portfolio could have been lost.

I would urge everyone with a good income to live frugally, to invest and to prepare lest a disaster come to their doorstep.

Excellent advice. That is our goal, too. The way we picture it, we will have alot more free time when we retire than we do now and it will be so important to be able to do things to fill up our days. There will be only so much walking, gardening, etc before we'll want to travel and visit kids/grandkids (hopefully). Since we dont do much now, but we envision the time and desire to do more later, we figure we will need to have the money to do things during retirement. What we hope for, is to have the money over each of our retirement years to spend on needs and some wants, to have our mortgage, etc paid off, so we are worrying about simplified monthly bills/health coverage & any prescriptions at that time/property taxes, etc. We are positioning ourselves for the long haul now - or jockeying for position.
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Old 05-18-2009, 10:53 AM
 
596 posts, read 2,501,859 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank View Post
No, it wouldn't go over well unless I'm talking to real frugal people. Many others think shopping at Salvation Army, using coupons, hanging out in the clearance racks or price haggling is what you do if you are poor and don't have any other options. It's way beyond frugal in their minds.

Frugal may be 'in' now but most people don't take it to the level of scoping out Salvation Army stores for Coach bags. When they say 'frugal' they mean they will skip ordering the appetizer for dinner or maybe only go out on Friday night instead of Friday and Saturday. Maybe they'll use the Coach purse they had from last season or trade with a friend so they get something 'new' without actually spending the $300 but I assure you, no one I know in the new frugal crowd intends to go from mall shopping to the Salvation Army store. LOL.

It's kind of like the difference between families with old money and new money. They use the same terminology but they all know the difference. There are those of us who are 'old frugal' and a bunch of new people who have recently discovered frugality....we're not in the same league.

It's not a put down or a judgment, but when things pick up these newly frugal people will go back to buying new Coach bags while us old frugal folks will still be hanging out at Salvation Army waiting for them to tire of them.
I can understand this. Friends of ours that know where I shop and how our home is furnished well, decorated well, and we dress nicely (no difference between us and "the Joneses" hehe), decided that this was somehow amazing given that I only by used when possible, and given the places that I shop. They wanted to 'try it' and so I brought one of them to the Salvation Army during one of my visits there. (Now, I personally like to divide and conquer, or be left alone to go through things item by item, practically...) Well this woman would not get off of my heels and made comments and looked around at everything as if it was coated in slime and infectious! I cut my shopping short because I was far from enjoying myself. There is just no convincing her that you can find great deals, cheap. She wanted no part of it. This couple is in debt up to their eyeballs in credit card bills, etc. Oh well, to each his own
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Old 05-18-2009, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,339 posts, read 50,019,797 times
Reputation: 67270
We are pretty well-off, but we like to make chintzy choices for ourselves.

Our frugality is reflected in the ways we choose to keep from spending nickels and dimes which wind up adding up. Tap water instead of bottled. Eating out once or twice a month instead of once or twice a week. Buying many things generic instead of name brand. Avoiding buying entertainment food like sodas and chips. Buying clothes and shoes when we really need them - not bc we like something we see.

This enables us to buy nice presents for others, donate more money, and we even it out by adding luxury where it counts (first class ticket on the plane, exotic trips).
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Old 05-18-2009, 11:06 AM
 
596 posts, read 2,501,859 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
We are pretty well-off, but we like to make chintzy choices for ourselves.

Our frugality is reflected in the ways we choose to keep from spending nickels and dimes which wind up adding up. Tap water instead of bottled. Eating out once or twice a month instead of once or twice a week. Buying many things generic instead of name brand. Avoiding buying entertainment food like sodas and chips. Buying clothes and shoes when we really need them - not bc we like something we see.

This enables us to buy nice presents for others, donate more money, and we even it out by adding luxury where it counts (first class ticket on the plane, exotic trips).
Wow! (exotic trips sound amazing...I would spend money in that way too - but there are great ways to even go about doing that on a budget which I'd enjoy digging up)

We also drink tap water, buy alot of store brand foods, shop at Aldi's (awesome quality stuff for waaaaay cheaper than anywhere else I've ever purchased food), we dont buy junk food unless its a special occasion (party, movie night), all meals are from scratch, alot of baking done in the home, sewing repairs made when necessary, dont bring clothes to the cleaners unless a suit needs to be cleaned, dont drink sodas or artificial drinks, etc
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Old 05-18-2009, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,772 posts, read 47,663,244 times
Reputation: 17661
Quote:
Originally Posted by jctx View Post
Excellent advice. That is our goal, too. The way we picture it, we will have alot more free time when we retire than we do now and it will be so important to be able to do things to fill up our days. There will be only so much walking, gardening, etc before we'll want to travel and visit kids/grandkids (hopefully). Since we dont do much now, but we envision the time and desire to do more later, we figure we will need to have the money to do things during retirement. What we hope for, is to have the money over each of our retirement years to spend on needs and some wants, to have our mortgage, etc paid off, so we are worrying about simplified monthly bills/health coverage & any prescriptions at that time/property taxes, etc. We are positioning ourselves for the long haul now - or jockeying for position.
It is important to plan for it.

I got my pension when I was 42, fortunately we had planned well for it, so we were ready to retire at that time.
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Old 05-18-2009, 08:55 PM
Status: "The weather is beautiful:)" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,369 posts, read 25,570,672 times
Reputation: 87978
The problem with a solid good income, as you said, is it can change in a heartbeat. You could lose that job or have a catastrophic health problem come up. You just never know what life can throw your way.

My DH and I are frugal as far as clothing, cars, eating out, entertainment, shopping and all material possessions. To us those are just "things" and they just aren't important to us. I like to know that we are happy together and our life is secure. So every choice we make is based on maintaining our security for the future.

For us being frugal is a choice because we are young and semi retired and we want to stay that way.

It doesn't matter to me what people think about me and I don't butt into other people's decisions. I will be more than happy to give advice or help if they ask otherwise it's not my business how anyone chooses to live. I can only wish they are as happy and lucky as me.
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