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Old 07-30-2013, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Jamestown, NY
7,841 posts, read 6,916,930 times
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The folks that I get annoyed at are those like my brother and sister-in-law who have always cried poverty when they have far more money than just about anybody else in the family.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:54 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,665,130 times
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^^ But that's probably why they do. They save their money instead of blowing it.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:19 PM
 
11,423 posts, read 19,433,663 times
Reputation: 18124
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
There was a woman in front of me at the grocery store checkout several years back that had a buggy full of steaks, raw shrimp, chips & dip, party trays, expensive deli meat & cheeses, soft drinks, and beer. She paid with her food stamps and then pulled a wad of cash out of her purse to pay for her beer.

I couldn't stop myself from saying, "Hey can I come over and eat too? Because my taxes paid for most of that."

She got in a huff and left the store. The cashier said she'd been doing that for years, once a week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hey teach View Post
I don't know how many times I have had parents say "I can't afford to buy more pencils and paper. You teachers just ask for too much." When we contact them because their child does not have supplies. Yet, when they pull up in the car line to pick up their child, they are driving a Mercedes, Lexus, or BMW.

What bugs me even more is when I see them in Wal-Mart or Target they have a buggy overflowing with groceries, name brand labels and expensive products. Then they pull out the food stamp card to pay for it. This just infuriates me!
One thing to keep in mind here -- and EBT card is not just food stamps. In a fair number of states, court mandated child support payments are issued on them, cash benefits from disability payments, SSI, and others are issued on them, and they can used at restaurants.

Just don't make the assumption that it's simply food stamps.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:54 PM
 
Location: In America's Heartland
929 posts, read 1,823,445 times
Reputation: 1173
I hear it from complete strangers almost every time I go out for a walk.
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:55 PM
Itz
 
714 posts, read 1,858,836 times
Reputation: 879
Great thread.
I knew a young lady who was always crying poor mouth... always.. 45 years old, lived with mom, paid her a few hundred a month for bills. No car payment. She had a good job with a masters degree - middle income basically.
Refused to share news that she got a raise with her other friends and mom because she was afraid her mom would start asking her for more money.. went out and got breast augmentation... crying poor mouth all the while.. than started on the botox.. than the vericose veins treatments. all crying poor mouth and wishing her mom would move in with her boyfriend so she could get the condo.. Even cried poor mouth when she wrecked her car and her mom bought her a new one..

Than she wondered why.. getting a decent man was so hard.. (she had a issue with hooking up with abusers- and the "why doesn't he love me" crying started)
Way to much drama
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Middle Tennessee
183,802 posts, read 74,960,655 times
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When they drive a luxury car and have a pool home.
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Old 07-30-2013, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,898,003 times
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I have a cousin who continually complains about not having any money, they can't afford to move into a bigger house, they can't do this or that.. Her husbands works on a production line, she is an instructional aide at a school. No idea what their income is but....
They somehow can afford to buy their children the latest & greatest ; ipods,ipads, brand name clothing, extravagant birthday parties and vacations every year..
On our 6 figure income, we cannot do or afford 1/2 of what they do. My kids don't have ipads and they don't get a big party every year & we haven't taken a vacation more than 3 days long in over 5 years...
I think they should do what they want with their money- yes, but stop complaining about what "you" can't do.
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:59 AM
Status: "When is MY time?" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: in the miseries
3,276 posts, read 3,390,757 times
Reputation: 3768
Sister inlaw complains about money all the time. She gets free dvd's from the library, uses free coupons, orders one meal
for two people, walks everywhere to save a buck. She could spend 6 figures a year and never be broke.
Oh and when she comes to a cookout she brings just enough for her to eat and not one item extra. OY VEY.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:25 AM
 
1,752 posts, read 3,148,459 times
Reputation: 1935
Ohhh, my mom called me on poor-mouthing one time. She grew up poor, as did my dad. I used to have LOTS of anxiety about spending money on anything, I felt guilty if I didn't work super hard to curb our expenses anyway I could. (we were NOT spending money on high end stuff/extravagances, I was just anxious). No one heard me poor mouthing more than my own husband. Poor guy, I nagged him about spending money on toothpaste.

So when my mom told me to stop poor mouthing, I did a thorough evaluation of my habits, and I realized they were just that...habits...ironically learned from her! When i was a kid she would say 'We can't afford that" when she just didn't want me to have something or didn't think I needed it. It was her go-to reason for everything she wasn't interested in. Somehow we had money for the art classes she wanted me to take but not for the dance classes I wanted to take.

Anyhoo, with my own kids I tell them that the pony they want is not a 'priority' for us right now, rather than saying 'We can't afford it". That helps a lot.

AS for my anxiety about spending, it abated quite a bit when I was earning my own money and not dependent on my husband. Now that we've been divorced about 7 years, I wonder why he didn't just look me in the eyes and tell me "you don't need to be anxious, this is a necessity and we can afford it!" instead of being defensive about the toothpaste. I suspect it was because sometimes he was making purchases we couldn't afford behind my back.

So for many people i think poor mouthing is a pattern of behavior they learn from their parents and sometimes doesn't match their internal feelings or their financial reality.
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Old 07-31-2013, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Ayrsley
4,714 posts, read 8,234,498 times
Reputation: 3809
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
One thing to keep in mind here -- and EBT card is not just food stamps. In a fair number of states, court mandated child support payments are issued on them, cash benefits from disability payments, SSI, and others are issued on them, and they can used at restaurants.

Just don't make the assumption that it's simply food stamps.
True. And heaven forbid someone with an EBT card chooses not to buy the cheapest crap in the store.
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