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Then it turns out their definition of "live" means a new car every few years, barhopping several times a week, luxury travel every year, hundreds of dollars on new clothes every month...OK, if that's what "live" means to you, then maybe not!
This^^^^exactly. I read this all the time. "want to be near bars and restaurants near the hippest
place in town, but my budget is______. Ugh!
Someone said to me once:
Poor people have poor ways.
It's unpopular to say and if I say it I will have to suffer an attack about how unfeeling I am. But for the most part, I find it true.
Having said that I have to say that I have worked with some very poor populations. They will live in a hovel, on welfare, not have a car, etc. Their children, however, will have some very expensive items (not a pencil for school, but $100 shoes). I think that some of these populations want to make up being poor with splurges for their kids as a salve for their guilt. They never really figure out how to crawl out of poverty and are very unlike to heed advice on the subject. It's a horrible situation that becomes generational.
I know this thread is a couple months old, but couldn't resist sharing one of the worst 'poor mouth' people I've come across!
There was a new woman at work whose first paycheck from our company was accidentally sent to the wrong address and needed to be re-issued - a delay of 5 days. She literally broke down crying in our shared cubicle saying her long distance husband couldn't eat that week because of this mistake. She went on and on about how our company screwed her over. Although I felt it was dramatic and unprofessional to be discussing personal finances at work (especially since I had only known her a week), I tried to console her since it appeared as though her situation was rather dire. I soon learned, however, that she was living in a luxury apartment for $2000/month (average for our area is around $1300) and paid for herself AND HER DOG to have mani-pedi's once a week. She also went out for lunch often and apparently ate out most nights.
So much for the starving (and employed, I learned) husband!
That is a great story. Like missing a pay check for five days will kill her! I would be ashamed to admit I could not manage my money effectively enough to float for five days!
Yes, I love the people who are so "broke" they can't afford to spay their cat, and have unwanted kittens twice a year, but they sit out on their front porch, with cases of beer every weekend. I actually offered to take the cat to the free clinic, and they told me their kids liked having kittens to play with...even though, they don't take care of them, and take them to the shelter when they are six months old or so, dirty, wild, and hungry.
Where does frugality stop and mental illness start?
I know a guy that cries poor mouth, but is quite well off. He gives himself away by showing me bank/investment statements. I'd say he's worth at least high six figures.
But it pains him to spend a dime....little heat (skim ice in the toilet!) in winter, no A/C in summer...no phone, internet or TV...ancient pick-up truck...all clothes from Goodwill.
The real kicker is he goes to a big homeless shelter in DC on Thanksgiving for a free meal!
Heck of a nice guy, but I think he's crazy.
He probably is mentally ill. That's not normal. My great grandmother lived through the Depression with 8 children. She would reuse tea bags at least 2 extra times. She also never moved from her ramshackle house, even when they had money. It's almost like a form of hoarding.
I know this thread is a couple months old, but couldn't resist sharing one of the worst 'poor mouth' people I've come across! I soon learned, however, that she was living in a luxury apartment for $2000/month (average for our area is around $1300) and paid for herself AND HER DOG to have mani-pedi's once a week. She also went out for lunch often and apparently ate out most nights.
I once had a friend (kind of - sort of) like that. She had to have the best of the best, bought a huge
home in the most desirable neighborhood, took expensive vacations twice a year, blah blah. She had
every credit card from almost every store I could think of because she said she deserved it. Her family
owned a business and her and her husband had an excellent income. However, she would cry if her
furnace needed repair or her ac/heating bill was too high. (and I do mean she would shed tears).
She never had cash on her and would ask for a few bucks for lunch (only gave her $$ once).
A couple of years later, I ran into her and she bragged about how they filed bankruptcy and got to
keep all their stuff but they walked away from the house. Nice that they let the taxpayers cover that.
BTW, she laughed when I told her we paid off our house and said I was nuts to do so.
Brother fills his apartment with bottles of expensive rums and vodkas, buys games and gaming systems weekly, has shelves collapsing under the weight of his porn DVD collections, then posts on facebook asking for someone to drop off "a box of food" for him. Won't even go to the foodbank, the box of food needs to magically show up at his door.
I don't like it when people say they have to "cut back" on their Christmas/holiday shopping and then talk about how they bought upgraded smartphones for their kids and the latest PlayStation games and bluray players. I guess simple and inexpensive gifts like books, toys, and board games are passe?
Someone said to me once:
Poor people have poor ways.
It's unpopular to say and if I say it I will have to suffer an attack about how unfeeling I am. But for the most part, I find it true.
Having said that I have to say that I have worked with some very poor populations. They will live in a hovel, on welfare, not have a car, etc. Their children, however, will have some very expensive items (not a pencil for school, but $100 shoes). I think that some of these populations want to make up being poor with splurges for their kids as a salve for their guilt. They never really figure out how to crawl out of poverty and are very unlike to heed advice on the subject. It's a horrible situation that becomes generational.
No attacks from me, because you are absolutely right. And I do realize that there are complex reasons for multi-generational poverty, such the lack of financial education, exposure to songs and TV shows that glamorize a consumerist lifestyle, and even the "crabs in a bucket" mentality that those in poverty tend to have toward their peers who are trying to better themselves. What's frustrating to me, and I am sure I'm not the only one, is constantly being hit up for donations at work and at practically every place of business because someone needs this, that, or the other. And every year it's a big push for school supplies, Thanksgiving dinners, holiday gifts, and it just never seems to end. Yet the kids all seem to have smart phones and brand-name clothing.
Another thing that annoys me is the people who are un(der)employed that have every reason in the world why they can't get this job or that one. Yes, I do know what the economy is like, but that doesn't mean we're all standing in bread lines. I see advertisements for jobs, and the parking lots at the malls and restaurants in my area are always close to full. It's not great, but it's not THAT bad. I've had people gripe to me about not being able to find a job, but there are so many restrictions on what they'll accept (Oh, no, a half-hour lunch! Only two weeks vacation! That's terrible!) that it's no wonder they can't find anything. For my own sanity, I've quit trying to help these people out because it's clear that they don't really want things to be different. Better to put that energy back into my own life and save myself the frustration.
OMG there is a woman who comes in to our place of business who is *VERY* wealthy and she is always asking... "Do you have any deals?" If you tell her "no" then she tells you how expensive your products/services are. What am I supposed to say? People who work across the street at the nursing home pay them with no complaints. Our product/services are very competitive in the market. She is just incredibly cheap. She has a "side" business selling a home party product and she comes by to ask if we will put out her catalog and literature on our coffee table for upcoming parties, but she won't buy anything because we're "expensive" *roll eyes*.
Mind you, like I said, this woman is worth a lot of money. She dresses cheap and never gets her hair cut/styled. I feel sorry for her but she aggravates me when she comes sniffing around for freebies and deals.
20yrsinBRanson
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). I think that some of these populations want to make up being poor with splurges for their kids as a salve for their guilt. They never really figure out how to crawl out of poverty and are very unlike to heed advice on the subject. It's a horrible situation that becomes generational.
