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Old 08-14-2009, 09:07 PM
 
Location: in my mind
2,745 posts, read 12,873,747 times
Reputation: 1592

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My mother.

My mom has moved in with my Grandmother, who has Alzheimer's and it's in the middle stages. My Grandma has a very good income, house is paid off, no car payments or CC bills or any of that. My mom has a decent income which is now combined with my Grandma's since there's only one household to maintain.

My mom refuses to hire someone to help out with the care of my Grandma and says that she "can't afford it". This drives me crazy. I don't want my Grandma in a nursing home, and we are in agreement there, but the money is THERE to avoid "caregiver burnout", why won't she use it? She spends a ton of money on crap though... but there's always something she's saying she can't "afford".

I have a friend that I've been friends with since adolescence, literally. Our kids have grown up together. When she was married she forever complained about being broke, though she hadn't worked outside the home for the entire time she was married (long after the kids were little and we were both SAHM's)... I just let it go in one ear and out the other, when she complained, because I knew full well we were managing on half of her income and that's with an extra kid in our household compared to hers, plus she got lots of "Grandparent" help for things like dance lessons, soccer, amusement park season passes, Disney vacations, etc. Her kids always had a TON of excessive "stuff", they always had big TV's, newer cars, and so onn. We don't have any of that, especially the "Grandparent help". So yeah, her "I'm so broke" stuff drove me batty.

I feel kind of bad about it but she finally knows what "broke" is now and I will admit to having some small bit of satisfaction here. She and her husband split, he kept the kids, her absolute lack of employment history and relatively useless degree are giving her a big, fat reality check. I don't like to see anyone struggle and I would help her out in a heartbeat if she needed it (she stayed with me for a while after the split, in fact) but man, I bet she has some real perspective now on the word "broke" and doesn't toss it around as freely now that she's experienced the joys of counting change for gas money!
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Valley City, ND
625 posts, read 1,610,728 times
Reputation: 532
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjohnson4381 View Post
..... I don't think I complain about being poor, I just complain about how I feel terrible about being in debt. I guess there's an obvious solution to that problem.

I was always taught that being BROKE is the state of your pocketbook. Being POOR is a state of mind
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Old 08-18-2009, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 2,045,018 times
Reputation: 552
Community college students who supposedly cannot afford their textbooks but can afford the best ipods, Blackberries, televisions, cell phones, clothing, shoes, hairstyles, nails, etc. As with many of the other examples already described here, it's a matter of misplaced priorities or values. Many learn in time--often by their third year.
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Old 08-18-2009, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,906,683 times
Reputation: 1896
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala8 View Post
Community college students who supposedly cannot afford their textbooks but can afford the best ipods, Blackberries, televisions, cell phones, clothing, shoes, hairstyles, nails, etc. As with many of the other examples already described here, it's a matter of misplaced priorities or values. Many learn in time--often by their third year.
I am not sure that should apply only to community college students.. I believe it applies to University students,state schools,Ivy League schools,and even to adults who are done with school..... let's remember that it is the adults that try to keep up with the Jones'.

The little jab about "their third year" would imply that all that go to a community college are idiots for the most part and most of the time, those students go on to 4 year schools....

Just my 2 cents though!
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Old 08-19-2009, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 2,045,018 times
Reputation: 552
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
I am not sure that should apply only to community college students.. I believe it applies to University students,state schools,Ivy League schools,and even to adults who are done with school..... let's remember that it is the adults that try to keep up with the Jones'.

The little jab about "their third year" would imply that all that go to a community college are idiots for the most part and most of the time, those students go on to 4 year schools....

Just my 2 cents though!
Unfortunately, you've completely missed the point of my post. I only mentioned community college students because that is my experience in large part. As for my comment about the third year, that was not meant to be a jab, but rather a recognition that students who have misplaced priorities usually learn the hard way (having to repeat courses) by their third year that they need to set aside money for textbooks.

Your interpretation is so off base here. None of our students are "idiots." In fact, many of our students return after their first associate's degree for a second degree, and many are happy that our college is now becoming a four year college with an option to earn a bachelor's degree.

So many assumptions... It sounds like my post hit a nerve there. Not my intention. Try to relax and understand that this is an open forum. We can agree to disagree, and not everyone here disparages community college students. The OP invited us to give examples of people who cry "pour mouth." This is my example. I'm sure there are others.

Thanks for your two cents. Next time why not make it three? In other words, dig a little deeper.
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Old 08-19-2009, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,906,683 times
Reputation: 1896
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala8 View Post
Unfortunately, you've completely missed the point of my post. I only mentioned community college students because that is my experience in large part. As for my comment about the third year, that was not meant to be a jab, but rather a recognition that students who have misplaced priorities usually learn the hard way (having to repeat courses) by their third year that they need to set aside money for textbooks.

Your interpretation is so off base here. None of our students are "idiots." In fact, many of our students return after their first associate's degree for a second degree, and many are happy that our college is now becoming a four year college with an option to earn a bachelor's degree.

So many assumptions... It sounds like my post hit a nerve there. Not my intention. Try to relax and understand that this is an open forum. We can agree to disagree, and not everyone here disparages community college students. The OP invited us to give examples of people who cry "pour mouth." This is my example. I'm sure there are others.

Thanks for your two cents. Next time why not make it three? In other words, dig a little deeper.
I wasn't digging and no nerve hit.... I think that maybe because your post was solely about community college students that there was an implication there. Most people who go to community college don't attend them for 3 years....
I was simply stating that it isn't JUST students who are attending cc that are not spending wisely. There are students,adults,etc... all over that claim they can't afford one thing but then seem to spend their money on things that are not what most would consider to be a necessity.
Just curious.... are you a teacher at the community college you are speaking of?
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Old 08-19-2009, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 2,045,018 times
Reputation: 552
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
I wasn't digging and no nerve hit.... I think that maybe because your post was solely about community college students that there was an implication there. Most people who go to community college don't attend them for 3 years....
I was simply stating that it isn't JUST students who are attending cc that are not spending wisely. There are students,adults,etc... all over that claim they can't afford one thing but then seem to spend their money on things that are not what most would consider to be a necessity.
Just curious.... are you a teacher at the community college you are speaking of?
Ah, so now we agree. Again, I never said or meant to imply that only community college students have misplaced financial priorities. This is my example.

Yes, I am a writer, performer, and community arts organizer who has taught English/Humanities at the college I was describing here for ten years. It happens to be a technical college, so that might also explain the misplaced priorities. I have also taught at three universities, but my heart is with students who did not get the same breaks in life. I think that's why I took issue with assuming that I think of my students as "idiots." Not in the least. It just takes some students time to figure out what they really want in life, and what they need to do to go for it.

This economic issue could be more of a sign of the times, with many people (not just college or university students) having to rethink their financial priorities. Just a thought...
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Old 08-19-2009, 07:47 AM
 
328 posts, read 777,411 times
Reputation: 195
People who file bankruptcy; spoiled irresponsible brats. The exception would be illness.
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Denver
682 posts, read 1,830,888 times
Reputation: 337
I just thought of one. People who are already on government assistance because they can't afford the kids they have...and then decide to have more kids.
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Philippines
62 posts, read 104,297 times
Reputation: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
We all know someone who cries poor mouth, yet annoys you with their hypocrisy? Who is that person? What annoys you?

Ill start it off.

A woman at my job, who constantly cries about being broke, and how her kids have to eat the same thing every day to anyone who will listen, yet at the same time eats out every single day at restaurants for lunch.
Just want to ask the men who try to scroll and read some of the post here? Since when did women ever stop complaining about anything or just about everything? Is it in most woman's nature to complain? I'm not saying all. I said most.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fierce_flawless View Post
My mother.

My mom has moved in with my Grandmother, who has Alzheimer's and it's in the middle stages. My Grandma has a very good income, house is paid off, no car payments or CC bills or any of that. My mom has a decent income which is now combined with my Grandma's since there's only one household to maintain.

My mom refuses to hire someone to help out with the care of my Grandma and says that she "can't afford it". This drives me crazy. I don't want my Grandma in a nursing home, and we are in agreement there, but the money is THERE to avoid "caregiver burnout", why won't she use it?
I think your mom doesn't prioritize your grandmother that much. It's just a matter of trying to budget expenses to include your grandmother in those expenses. It could also be that she's tired of taking additional responsibility as to think of solutions about it. Their are always alternative, it's just a matter of trying to look for those options. This is just from my perspective.
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