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Old 07-07-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Duh mountains
483 posts, read 434,080 times
Reputation: 389

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
My husband is an attorney and I'm a writer. Before I met him, I'd been single for almost six years and I'd lived on $12,000 a year or less. I lived a pretty decent lifestyle. I had no debt, I didn't have television or cable tv, and I watched every dollar. I had health insurance with a $10,000 deductible and that suited me just fine.

And by this time, my kids had grown and flown the coop, so there were no kid expenses. Honestly, it wasn't hard to live a good life on $12,000 a year, but then again, I'm a really frugal person.

Here's my question: I'm now (recently) married to a guy who also believes in "no debt" but he spends a lot of money on a lot of stuff. I'd rather live like a pauper and save for our upcoming retirement but he says he'd rather "enjoy the moment" and live each day. Fortunately, he's got a decent income so we can still save, even with his "bon vivant" spending.

But - it's annoying to watch him spend $27 in one night on three glasses of Pinot Noir (at $9 a pop). Anyone else in my boat? How did you resolve it?

He makes all the money. My income is still quite modest.

Rose
Sue him for divorce and bank the alimony.
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Old 09-28-2014, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Norfolk
1,574 posts, read 1,980,671 times
Reputation: 5073
This is an OLD thread that I started FIVE years ago, but I just want to say, the wisdom offered at this forum can be truly remarkable and impressive.

There was so much good advice here.

Thanks so much for the thoughtful posts. It's five years later and Hubby and I found our "happy medium" in dealing with dollars.

I'm realizing, many of the posters here really hit the nail on the head!

Good and wise advice, from so many folks!

Thanks!
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Old 09-29-2014, 01:49 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,095 posts, read 12,750,527 times
Reputation: 14837
Glad you found the satisfactory compromise for both of you!
It's unusual that someone actually comes back and reports.
Thank you
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:27 PM
 
24,748 posts, read 26,817,884 times
Reputation: 22742
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCAnalyst View Post
Um no. Your husband is not an ATM.

To the OP: It's his money, he can do with it what he wants.
Uhhh, did you miss the part about them being married. What he does effects her. It's not "his" money. It's "theirs", legally and otherwise.
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Old 10-01-2014, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Henderson
1,107 posts, read 1,340,723 times
Reputation: 1017
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
This is an OLD thread that I started FIVE years ago, but I just want to say, the wisdom offered at this forum can be truly remarkable and impressive.

There was so much good advice here.

Thanks so much for the thoughtful posts. It's five years later and Hubby and I found our "happy medium" in dealing with dollars.

I'm realizing, many of the posters here really hit the nail on the head!

Good and wise advice, from so many folks!

Thanks!
Yea, we went through the same thing. We negotiated so that we met each other's needs/wants. We never used the "hers, mine" philosophy, it's ours.
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Old 10-03-2014, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
5,685 posts, read 5,892,594 times
Reputation: 12037
My wife and I are both the savers in our families, we want to retire early and move to Maine, but we have also had financial setbacks and the extra savings have pulled us through hard times.

We have siblings that live for today and have had to learn the hard way, my wife has one sister who along with her husband are listening to Dave Ramsey and trying to change their situation and another sister has a husband that has been out of work for a year, something they were not prepared for.
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Old 10-03-2014, 11:54 PM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 8,204,308 times
Reputation: 6487
Um, 27$ for three wines is pretty common when you are out. I would say that you need to adjust to having the ability to spend a little bit more now and not worry about it so much.
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