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Old 05-01-2014, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
Reputation: 46995

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I've been on CD for several years and at least 4 times I've seen very generous and knowledgeable people run off by snarky comments. Glad to say I haven't seen it so far this growing season.

There was a man who managed a big box nursery department and he was so helpful. I like to look up his old posts. And he was mostly self taught. he was run off.

There was a man who knew so much about trees especially and he did a lot of volunteer work with ridding nuisance trees from land. He got into it about mimosa and sweet gum trees and got really mad at those who insisted they were pretty, and they would plant them no matter what harm they did. he gave up in disgust and took his considerable knowledge elsewhere.

There was a woman who took incredible time and energy to look up questions and post lots of links to back her posts. I marveled at her experience and willingness to share. Somebody on here called her a know it all and other snarky things. She has not been back in many months and i doubt she will ever be back,

So be sure to thank those who take the time and energy to share what they have learned either through formal education or experience. Many times we are getting information we should be paying big bucks for.
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Old 05-01-2014, 11:30 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 6,150,756 times
Reputation: 6711
Well, I know you're not referring to me (being one of the knowledgeable ones who was run off). LOL

But yeah, we can get info here that you just can't find anywhere else. Like, "how does that plant ACTUALLY do in the deep South?" The catalogs are just not going to tell you that you can't grow certain plants in the deep South. (Well, one does, or at least they used to...Bluestone Perennials) They'll put "Zones 4-8", not telling you that the "8" is only referring to Oregon or Washington state for that particular plant.
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Old 05-01-2014, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now a Rehoboth Beach Bunny
7,247 posts, read 9,603,280 times
Reputation: 6908
While I agree that we should all play nice and everyone benefits, I recall a convo I had years ago with someone who insisted that her bamboo was beautiful. I too think it is pretty but from afar. She was having a battle with one of her neighbors who was the uninterested benefactor of the "privacy screen" that was now overtaking her yard. She asked my opinion and I said that while I thought it was pretty, I was glad I was not her neighbor because it is so invasive. She could not get over that I didn't like it. She extolled all the virtues of a pretty privacy screen, and hearty too!!!! She refused to understand that it was a problem for her neighbor. I suggested that she research the bamboo and how to stop it from running so she could better understand what her neighbor was up against. Her response, I don't see it taking over my property!!!! I gave up.

I think if you post you need to develop a thicker skin and if one person beats you up, there are five that will have your back.
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Old 05-01-2014, 12:22 PM
 
1,481 posts, read 793,861 times
Reputation: 569
I would generally agree with "nuts2..." about developing a thick skin and that often people will indeed back you up when discussions become dust ups but sometimes NOT in print and so for all intents and purposes you are left dangling in the wind all alone and that can be sad. OTOH, sometimes IMHO people can get into trouble with making either "blanket" prohibitions ("don't plant silktree mimosa or empress tree anywhere anytime" kind of thing) or advocacy ("plant bamboo as a privacy screen/property fence" LOL). in certain cases AND certain places maybe all of the above statements may be spot on BUT in other parts of the country with different climatic conditions are even different levels of care (say a really good root barrier for the bamboo if it's a running type---there are clumpers as well) the opposite plantings and procedures may actually be (sometimes) reasonable and good. one might consider BEFORE making definitive pronouncements about most anything to express that statement in terms of the context of YOUR experience in a given area with a given climate/moisture/heat/soils situation and then also try to relate to the potentially different space the other person and his plants may be working in and under---"your mileage may vary"---and if you show your awareness of this in how you make your point you may just sometimes (but sadly not always) get into a constructive, informative, and pleasant experience for all concerned.
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Old 05-01-2014, 12:45 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
21,006 posts, read 25,781,024 times
Reputation: 39395
People being run off in the garden section? This is just about the only section of C-D where everyone is nice. (Recipe section is also usually pretty nice).

I just think that a person needs a thick skin in order to play on a forum. If a person is unpleasant, everyone else notices it and nobody is blaming the "victim" or thinking less of them.

After going all the way around the block with that, I agree with you, OP. Not only is it rude, it is also not smart to offend the experts to the point that they refuse to post any more.
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Old 05-01-2014, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Land of Free Johnson-Weld-2016
6,474 posts, read 13,413,676 times
Reputation: 6404
Well I'm glad the garden section is a lot more polite now. OP if you are insinuating that anyone was "run off" of the forum, I'll openly admit that I defended many posters when they were attacked or belittled by one poster. If you mean J&EM, she did provide some useful information, but was rude (IMO) and condescending...especially to new posters.

This year I notice that we have many more people posting on the forum, and I LOVE it. I don't care how much people know as long as we're all polite and love gardening and are willing to learn from and share our experiences. I'm happy that the forum is that way. It is a fun place to come and rest after I'm tired of the more controversial areas of CD.

Well...until someone mentions Roundup...then all bets are off.
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Bel Air, California
20,344 posts, read 20,435,090 times
Reputation: 31588
oops, my mistake...I got lost and thought I was in the Wild Accusations Forum, sorry
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:18 PM
 
2,800 posts, read 2,515,649 times
Reputation: 6165
I think I've posted all of four times in this forum over the past two years, so it wasn't me. I enjoy walking the halls of the 18th century French Palace salons that are the City Data forums and lurking and reading knowledgeable people share their insights.

A few times I've used a garden analogy to try to foster understanding among the Politics and Other Controversies, Great Debates, Education, History, Psychology or Current Events crowd by using the wisdom gained in the science of the horticultural concept that is 'Companion Planting' to illustrate the problems in behavioral abrasiveness in socio-cultural interactions as the overriding cause in problems amongst people, not race. I hope those people researched it and gained some understanding.

My container plantings still have yet to sprout, cold and damp April.
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Old 05-01-2014, 11:07 PM
 
Location: CO
2,456 posts, read 2,440,121 times
Reputation: 5155
No kudzu, good point. Though I do agree with nuts2 and GeorgeinBandon about not being too thin-skinned. I was chastised on one of my very first posts on City Data on a very nitpicky point. I was taken aback but fortunately another forum member rep'd me with a comment that I shouldn't pay any attention to the chastiser as she was a nuisance. I took that to heart and forged on but was grateful that someone came to my defense.
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Old 05-01-2014, 11:18 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
18,006 posts, read 17,159,915 times
Reputation: 30152
I don't like snarky remarks or smart aleck comments. It's so nice when a person actually says "thank you" or "I enjoyed your post" rather than confronting you and going on the offensive against you. I actually started giving reps to people who are polite like that, that's how much I appreciate it.

If somebody does attack you or is rude, don't forget the report icon, that little exclamation point that you click on. The report goes right to a mod who will investigate. That might nip some of the snarkiness in the bud. (in the bud? gardening. one track mind.)
__________________
my posts as moderator will be in red. Moderator: Health&Wellness~Genealogy. The Rules--read here>>> TOS. If someone attacks you, do not reply. Hit REPORT.
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