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Someone recently started a thread in this forum, but it ended up being pretty clear that they just wanted a political argument, and didn't really want to talk about things you might find in genealogy research.
But I thought it would be an interesting topic: have you found ancestors in your family tree who did something bad, or something you are ashamed of?
The topic the other poster brought up was owning slaves; so that might be one example. Maybe you had a German ancestor who was in the SS? Maybe you've found criminals, like murderers, thieves, rapists, or maybe someone who have two families: the real one and the "secret" one?
My example is one of my great great grandfathers, who was 20 years old and living as a boarder with a farming family, as a worker on their farm. He ended up married to their 14 year old daughter (my great great grandmother) who had a baby soon after they married. I can't tell exactly from the dates, but it look like their relationship started when she was 13.
Today, this would be child molestation. I know back then girls did marry earlier, but even in the late 1800s, wouldn't you be upset if your boarder/employee seduced your 13 year old daughter? Looks like the shotgun wedding was the solution they came up with. But they did stay married their whole lives and had several other children over the years.
Has anyone else found these "shameful" things in their research? I know someone who found a relative who had apparently killed several of her infants. I thought that one was pretty bad.
Well, there is my maternal grandfather, who thankfully died before my siblings and I were born. I'm not ashamed of him because the shame was his, not mine, but I do despise him. My mother spent her younger and teenaged years running from her father's advances, and at night when it was bedtime my grandmothher would lock mom's bedroom door from the OUTSIDE with a padlock, to keep my grandfather out. He also tried to molest my mother's friends and neighborhood girls. He married my grandmother when she was only 14 years old.
A few things that I have found out about one side of my family is that my gr-grandfather killed himself, his daughter was married at 15 and one of her grandsons shot and killed his mother. Not really ashamed, just a little shocking. Although it does explain a few things with certain members of that family.
No, I don't really see the point. Some of my ancestors were slave owners - I'm not ashamed but it's not exactly our family's proudest moment either. It just is what it is... I can't do anything about it and I wasn't a part of it.
My g-g-grandfather was a horrid, abusive man and probably a sexual predator. I see through the generations other cousins who were equally awful, and I wonder if there is a damaged gene that continues to pass down through the family.
I also had ancestors who owed slaves and had children with them. I think it's despicable, but it's not my shame and it's not the other descendants' shame.
Okay, okay, so I see the shame word is putting people off. I know there's this whole ownership of shame issue, and the reluctance to use the word "shame." whatever.
Change it to "have you found any despicable ancestors?"
For me, I truly despise people who abuse animals of any kind. And I'm very ashamed of my Mother's grandfather who was run out of the city of New York because he beat a horse to death. He was a very abusive person and he beat my uncle's so bad they had to be hospitalized multiple times when they were children. Those beatings ruined their lives and their own children suffered as well. Chronic abuse like that can span generations like I couldn't imagine.
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