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Truly, if you find Ancestry's system too difficult ... you're not going to find what you're looking for. Not something that's not open to the public. You might have to content yourself with emailing your database back and forth, and keeping track of who has the "active" database. If you have the ability to do that.
If you don't. You need to get to either a genealogical society computer interest group, or to a community college/community center computer class stat. Either that, or just face the fact that it's beyond your skill level.
Ah ha, so I has settled into my brain that it sounds like Ancestry offers an option that might be just what is wanted, or in other words, Ancestry offers the "easiest" method (if I am up to the task).