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Old 12-06-2012, 02:32 PM
 
16 posts, read 13,812 times
Reputation: 23

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TribalCat View Post
An ideal image isn't real. Eventually you have to realize that birthparents, all parents, are just human with human flaws, and accept them for that. You're telling her to hold onto an image instead of taking a chance and perhaps finding a reality she can really hold on to. That's cowardice, and it would be a shame. No matter what you find at the end, it's the truth, and that's better than believing in a lie.

I think she's brave for wanting to wanting to find him, and I wish her luck.
Thank You!!!!! And I couldn't agree more with everything that you said.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:35 PM
 
16 posts, read 13,812 times
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Default more likely to find help searching out living relatives

Quote:
Originally Posted by bjh View Post
You are more likely to find help searching out living relatives in the people search forum:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/people-search/

Thank You.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:51 PM
 
16 posts, read 13,812 times
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Default If he was interested in you,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2 View Post
If he was interested in you, he would have kept up with you. Since he didn't, there is a good chance that he would prefer that you stay out of his life.

Do you really think it's such a great idea to try to find him ?

I understand your wanting to know him. My father was killed when I was only 4 months old. I would have loved to have known him. But there is also the chance that I would not have liked him or that he didn't measure up to what I thought a father should be.

Perhaps wondering about your father would better than finding out for sure.
Padgett2........
Perhaps, but he was told to never come back. And my mom remarried and changed my last name. And we moved away. I have moved a lot of times in my life.

Yes, I do think that its a great idea to try and find him. I mean why not? I dont have anything to lose, but I may gain someone in my life. And to me there is nothing wrong with that.

I appreciate your thoughts in keeping me from "getting hurt". But I am a grown up and I have endured more loss in my life than anyone I know at my age.

I am sorry that you lost your dad and that you will never have the opportunity to go looking for him. And maybe you would not have liked him and maybe he wouldn't be ALL that you wanted. But for me, its about finding something I grew up my whole life without knowing if it was because he didnt want me in his life or if it was because of my grandfather telling him to stay away. And if and when i find him and he tells me to my face that he doesn't want anything to do with me, Well then at least I tried!! I did my part. And that I can live with.

No matter what....i have to do what is best for me!!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:04 PM
 
16 posts, read 13,812 times
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Wink It's better to find out for sure than to wonder about it forever

Quote:
Originally Posted by TribalCat View Post
It's better to find out for sure than to wonder about it forever. If I hadn't searched for my birthparents who gave me up for adoption when I was born, I would never have the wonderful and loving relationships that I have with my birthfamilies today. A few of my siblings aren't interested in getting to know me, and that's okay, but my birthparents were thrilled when I found them. Go for it. No matter what you find, you won't lose what you already have.


My thoughts exactly!!!!
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Old 12-10-2012, 06:34 PM
 
1,097 posts, read 1,658,700 times
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Did they meet in CA? --- Lakewood,?? NJ?? - - -
What I'm getting at was if they didn't meet in CA, why was he somewhere else? service? school?
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:11 AM
 
42 posts, read 37,930 times
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Just found my bio dad. Though he never searched for me, he always hoped I would find him. I'm not sure he thought he had the right to search. He's thrilled to be found and loves me. It might be a difficult situation, or it might turn out great...but you won't know for sure until you find him. And even if it doesn't turn out great, many people say they're still glad they searched. Best of luck!
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:05 AM
 
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Default Did they meet in CA? --- Lakewood,?? NJ?? - - -

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Originally Posted by nj185 View Post
Did they meet in CA? --- Lakewood,?? NJ?? - - -
What I'm getting at was if they didn't meet in CA, why was he somewhere else? service? school?
They met in Southern California, somewhere. My mom lived in a couple of different places. Lakewood, California was the last place she lived.
That i know of he was not in the service. I don't know how they met or where.
All i know is his name, and two stories about him and i saw a picture of him once that was taken in 1973.

Other than that i am flying bliind
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:06 AM
 
43 posts, read 99,589 times
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I am not sure if this information will help or not but I checked on ancestry.com and there is a Steven Charles Allen who was born on Feb 24, 1952 in Los Angeles county. Mother's maiden name is Bluff.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:15 AM
 
16 posts, read 13,812 times
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Default Just found my bio dad

Quote:
Originally Posted by adopteeWPD View Post
Just found my bio dad. Though he never searched for me, he always hoped I would find him. I'm not sure he thought he had the right to search. He's thrilled to be found and loves me. It might be a difficult situation, or it might turn out great...but you won't know for sure until you find him. And even if it doesn't turn out great, many people say they're still glad they searched. Best of luck!
That is so AWESOME!!!!!! Congratulations!!! Happy for you!!!!!

That is what I am thinking, maybe he thinks i don't know about him or maybe he doesn't feel he has a right to me. Whatever the case, I want to find him and whatever happens happens. In the end it will turn out the way it is meant to be.
Thank you for sharing with me your story )))) And i hope all is as it should be for you and your dad!!!
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:04 PM
 
16 posts, read 13,812 times
Reputation: 23
Default I am not sure if this information

Quote:
Originally Posted by karenlabe View Post
I am not sure if this information will help or not but I checked on ancestry.com and there is a Steven Charles Allen who was born on Feb 24, 1952 in Los Angeles county. Mother's maiden name is Bluff.

The age that is on my birth cert. puts him being born iin 1952...so actually this may help alot.
Thank you so much for looking!!! And funny thing...maybe a sign, but my son was also born on Feb. 24th.

Thanks again
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