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Depends on what you mean by "distant". About five years ago I contacted a distant cousin on the opposite coast; the connection went back to my great-great-great-great grandfather circa 1870s. Our great-great-great-grandparents were siblings. Turns out that his wife worked at the local historical society and was bigtime into genealogy, although she had found nothing on "my" line at all; she and I have become close friends online.
Another time I contacted a distant relative whose grandfather was the older brother of my great-grandfather. Although he was never interested in genealogy, his late mother was, and two years after our first contact he was cleaning out an old shed and found photographs of several of my ancestors who I otherwise would never have 'seen'.
On other occasions I've had no response at all to my inquiries. But you never know when something might turn out well!
I don't mind being contacted. In two cases, I was able to share some photos.
I've had mixed success contacting others. Many were quite elderly and didn't have the energy to do more than wish me luck, which I respected. Others I never heard back from, and there may have been multiple reasons for that.
These days, I try to only contact those who I know are doing genealogy or because someone said, "Phone X. Tell her I gave you her number and ask her about ________" (whatever relative I'm seeking).
I've been at this for 30+ years and have found most of the answers I was seeking, but there are still a few holes . . .
I found my half-sister on Facebook. I hadn't seen her since she was a baby, but I knew her mother from awhile back and added her first. Then my half-sister added me. We've only talked a couple of times so I don't know. My mom keeps hounding me to contact my dad's side of the family, but I'm not even sure they know I exist.
I have done this several times, and had people contact me. Some people think it is an Internet scam, or something. But I always offer to send them something via mail or email first so they can look it over and see if it is a match. So they know I am legit. Then we exchange emails and have even met in person several times. I have met some very nice distant relatives.
Some people have absolutely NO interest in family history whatsoever though. These are the people that have probably thrown away any old photos anyway, so no need to contact them or waste your time.
Just wondering if any of you have done this, or have feelings on this.
I have been researching my family tree for several years now, and have a big extended family tree on Ancestry.com. With the availability of the internet and Facebook, sometimes I'm able to find the whereabouts of some of these people who are still alive.
What are you feelings on contacting people like this either via snail mail, email, or Facebook messaging to share family history, etc? I've done it a few times...I always try to keep things brief, and just try to see if they want to exchange any info. A lot of times, I never hear back. I was able to make contact with one of my dad's cousins on Facebook though, which has been rewarding.
Thoughts?
I'm all for it. If you're on a genealogy website, being open to the idea of forming connections is assumed. It is much easier than it was before web-based genealogy services took off... must have been a little nerve-wracking to cold-call someone you've never met and bug them for info. About twelve years ago, a distant relative on my father's side discovered that he and my grandfather were distant cousins while working on a book about our family's history. They met in person and traveled a bit while putting research together for the book.
I have had some people ignore me with emails - but that's just the chance you take and I take no offense. More often than not though, I get responses and truthfully some of these relatives, close or distant in relationship or place, have become very close friends. They have opened more doors and worlds to me than I could ever have done on my own. My emails and yes, phone calls, to them have led to so much - -
I email, and I've made those weird phone calls. No one really thought I was stalker-ish -- though I felt like it sometimes!
I was looking up a house on google maps a year or so ago that I remembered as a small child -- it was still there -- I googled the address and found a "who is" registration for a website registered to the address with an owner contact. I emailed him and he sent me current pics of the place, I sent him old ones from the original family. Turns out my grandmothers cousin - last of the family there - left a box with the next owner full of family stuff which each owner had added to & passed to the next -- I filled in some for him, he for me.
I found a relative mentioned briefly in a book. The book mentioned someone who helped the author research whom I then researched and contacted by email. He responded, we talked by phone, he put me in touch with the author - we spoke by phone and then spoke & corresponded till her death - an amazing woman. The researcher sent me wills, marriage certs, I gave him info on the family briefly mentioned and their descendants etc.
Be brave - sometimes you get zip. Other times you get so much more than just a few more names on your tree - - -
Nj185, I love how that worked out for you with the old house and new owners. I had tried sending a letter to new owner of a house that 3 generations of mine had lived in, no response but I can see they might have thought it wierd.
To OP. I was able to find some distant cousins, we're in touch a bit but really no genealogy beyond hearsay. I am glad I am getting to know them though. I do think email makes it maybe easier now, might not get paper copies though maybe digital camera pics are better than nothing. After reading what other posters have written I might try more with email and facebook now. Sometimes it seems like the people who actually have the photo's and documents are less inclined to share anything, those that don't have more family lore to share
Which is fun in itself not always useful. That's just my family and I do agree it's worth the risk just don't take it personally.
After conducting my own successful birth search (I was adopted at birth through a state adoption and had no birth information given to my adoptive parents), I'm no longer shy about contacting possible relatives. The worst they can do is ignore you or tell you they aren't interested in getting to know you. If they say no, you shouldn't take it personally, after all, they don't know YOU, they just don't like the idea. My birthparents were great about me finding them, as are most of my siblings. Other siblings don't want any contact, and I've no problem with that. Their loss Through DNA testing, I've found, and have been found by, several cousins of varying degrees, and I've had good interactions with them. Some of them share my interest in genealogy and have been able to give me a lot of information on our family, and some of us have become friends. If you want to know them, contact them. They might say no, but they might also become a real "family" member. If you don't ask, you might miss out on a wonderful relationship.
I would personally be absolutely delighted if a distant relative contacted me! And I've never been afraid to initiate the contact always leaving them with a polite out in case they prefer not to be bothered.
Not only could they be a wonderful resource of info and pictures, but I am always open to a new friend.
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Through DNA testing, I've found, and have been found by, several cousins of varying degrees, and I've had good interactions with them. Some of them share my interest in genealogy and have been able to give me a lot of information on our family, and some of us have become friends. If you want to know them, contact them. They might say no, but they might also become a real "family" member. If you don't ask, you might miss out on a wonderful relationship.
