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Anyone ever experience similar to this? I have twice now made contact with somewhat distant relatives, only to find out one parent I had thought was their parent...actually wasn't.
"Yes, so and so was my mother, but her husband wasn't my father..." And it's not like you can just ask, "OK, who was your dad?", when in all likelihood they may not know.
Just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing.
In all likelihood they may very well know who their father was. Multiple marriages/ divorces with children from each is very common. You seem to be thinking along the lines of one night stands with strangers, which is probably nor the case.
What you may be running into into is step families. All you really want to do is to figure out your blood relations.
In all likelihood they may very well know who their father was. Multiple marriages/ divorces with children from each is very common. You seem to be thinking along the lines of one night stands with strangers, which is probably nor the case.
What you may be running into into is step families. All you really want to do is to figure out your blood relations.
In one instance (one of my dad's cousins), I am pretty sure this person does not know who her father was. I mentioned in another thread, but she isn't even sure of what city she was born in.
The other one that came up yesterday is someone who isn't actually a relative. I was trying to make a connection with the family of my grandmother's step-sister's spouse, trying to see if any pictures or other info of the step-sister may have survived (she died in 1945). His eldest daughter emailed me yesterday and said "Yes, (second wife) was my mother, but he was not my father...thank goodness!"
So yeah, not something I can exactly ask further about.
Another reason why with genealogy, I limit my interactions to just dead people and records. Awkward moments only seem to come up with those pesky living people...
Anyone ever experience similar to this? I have twice now made contact with somewhat distant relatives, only to find out one parent I had thought was their parent...actually wasn't.
"Yes, so and so was my mother, but her husband wasn't my father..." And it's not like you can just ask, "OK, who was your dad?", when in all likelihood they may not know.
Just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing.
Why can't you ask who their biological father is? As long as you have explained that you are doing the geneaology research I don't see where it would be a problem. All they can do is tell you they don't want to discuss it, they don't know or it is none of your business. Then you thank them for their time and move on.
Another reason why with genealogy, I limit my interactions to just dead people and records. Awkward moments only seem to come up with those pesky living people...
Yes, but....those dead people (or their records) can tell tales. My cousins reacted in icy fury - they no longer will communicate with me - when I discovered that one of our grtgrtgrandmother's would never have made it into the lady's auxiliary of the KKK.
My ggrandfather was said to be a woodscolt, father unknown. Or it was said it was so far back there no one knew the family names. He was born in 1838.
My male cousin did the YDNA which confirmed that our YDNA was in a a different familytree DNA project than our surname.
Illegitimacy confirmed. local family identified. to me, it was no big deal just a fact. But my cousin's reaction was different. He asked me to handle all YDNA inquiries in his behalf if I wanted but he would have nothing to do with that family project line. Discussion closed.
It was no shame on us, but the societal reprecussions on my gggrandmother and her family, my ggrandfather, and my grandfather were significant.
So it was an awkward moment but I understand.
And I get a lot of contacts on that family line. It may be awkward for them as well, my information is limited.
another reason why with genealogy, i limit my interactions to just dead people and records. Awkward moments only seem to come up with those pesky living people...
The info that I discuss with family members varies depending on our relationship.
One cousin's father had a first wife & I don't know if he knows that or not. I've never metioned it to him. There were no children from the first marriage & it didn't last long. I figure it's not my place to tell my cousin. Either his Dad told him about the first marriage, or he didn't. My cousin's never mentioned it, so neither do I.
I have other cousins with whom no info is held back between us. It just depends on the relationship.
I already knew of an undocumented coupling in my husband's family tree prior to researching his family tree. Now I'm presented with a dead end since no record appears to exist for paternity of a great-grandparent. I haven't delved any further than that. Al involved are dead and gone.
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