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I love history, I love the way studying genealogy (mine or that of others) humanizes it, turns it into something other than dates in books - those were real people back then. Sounds to me like you're approaching it as a form of making friends/connections in the current day, OP, and that's not really what it's primarily been about for me, though there has obviously been some of that.
I agree. It's like seeing American history through the eyes of your own family. I continue to be amazed how so many historical events touched my ancestors in some manner.
I began the search 8 years ago to simply gather some info for my mother, who knew little beyond her immediate family. I wish she would have lived longer to learn all that I've discovered. Since her family, and those who married into her family, also didn't know a lot about their predecessors, they are also appreciative of the info I've gathered.
I plan to join Ancestry one of these days, but it isn't to connect with relatives. My parents were from the same country in Europe but I think I have distant relatives in a few other places, and I'm just.... curious. I also want to find out exactly what my blood-line is because I'm just .... well, curious.
I highly doubt I will end up connecting with any relatives anywhere. I don't feel that need.
I spent 68 years thinking I was mostly German and\or Italian with some Irish or Welsh tossed in.
Not.
I was told my father was adopted by his father and his mother was the maid.
Not.
I was told I had one cousin. My father's sister's daughter. I met her once in my life, when I was 14.
Edit: I forgot. My wife has discovered an entire family in Texas that are related through her grandmother. She was the half brother of their grandmother. I'm hoping I can convince her to go see them.
Not.
She was also adopted. Turns out my grandparents on my fathers side could not have children.
German? Some from my mother's side. None from my father. Turns out his mother was not the maid. She was a twenty year old or so girl from Eastern Iowa who was sent to Council Bluffs to have a baby. We know her name and that she Irish. We know the father was Irish, but no name.
So my wife and I had our DNA tested.
I'm 42% Irish. Some Western European, Nordic, Iberian, and a teeny bit from around Iran or Iraq.
There are people related to me through my dad's real mother according to the DNA, but asking them gets denial of any connection or a person by her name in their tree.
So I learned a lot. One of those things is that the OP was right in some regards. There are people who want nothing to do with you if your existence is an embarrassment to them.
There were a couple of other major surprises that haven't come to fruition because it's not my place to talk to others in the family about them. If they get their DNA done they'll freak out.
Overall it was worth doing. With no children it's just for me. The line ends here.
It's amazing what you can find outside of court houses. Church records, old diaries and letters, family Bibles, genealogies done by those before you (which may or may not be accurate but are a great source of possible information) - court houses are valuable but only the tip of the iceberg.
Not sure what you mean about people so secret they won't open up, they hid in secret. Did you just pop up and say, "Hi, I'm your second cousin third time removed from an unknown prior divorce of your ancestor, let's be friends!" or something like that, or what, that made them hide from you?
I really am not interested in genealogy or doing a DNA test to "discover my heritage". It doesn't matter to me at all in the greater scheme of things. My parents were both Italians and their parents were Italians born in Italy. There I know everything I need to know. :-)
I view (extreme) love of genealogy as a form of tribalism. I don't understand why my family is more special or better than any others or even why I should have a much greater interest in them than in history overall.
An extension of that is that I also very much shy away from the whole "blood is thicker than water concept" of extreme favoritism in all regards to someone who just by chance happens to be related to you in some way.
I view (extreme) love of genealogy as a form of tribalism. I don't understand why my family is more special or better than any others or even why I should have a much greater interest in them than in history overall.
An extension of that is that I also very much shy away from the whole "blood is thicker than water concept" of extreme favoritism in all regards to someone who just by chance happens to be related to you in some way.
hmmm you may have said something that is a good point
A few years ago, a woman contacted me and said she had some letters & pictures she'd like to share of our common family. I live in Michigan, she lives in Indiana. She wanted me to "swing by" that weekend to get the stuff & meet up. I live 10 hours from her. She got upset that I "obviously wasn't serious" about the genealogy of our shared family. I tried to assure her that I was, but it would take some planning for me to meet up. I even invited her to a lunch we were having for my sister's wedding a few months from her initial contact. She literally told me it was ridiculous to expect her to travel 4 hours from home for "a few pictures." What can I say? She was from the crazy side of the family, apparently.
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