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Old 01-30-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Retired in VT; previously MD & NJ
14,277 posts, read 6,875,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brownbagg View Post
how would dna work, the y detects the male y the father on the father side and the x the mother on the mother side, everything in the middle is a wash, if mama still around but then no y, you would need an uncle on the mother side(brother) or a cousin.
When you take a DNA test, you have an option to look at DNA Relatives (also called Matches). These matches are based on DNA segments (measured in centimorgans) that you share with the other person -- could be on any one chromosome or on multiple chromosomes. The more segments of DNA you share with a person, the closer the relationship of that person. Ancestry and 23&Me list the matches in order... starting with those you share the most DNA with. So a half sibling will be higher on the list than a 4th cousin, for example.

On 23&Me, if you also test a parent, the list will indicate which relatives are on your mother's side and which are on your father's side. (I don't know if Ancestry does that)
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Old 01-30-2019, 01:14 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,790 posts, read 33,259,253 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90 View Post
When you take a DNA test, you have an option to look at DNA Relatives (also called Matches). These matches are based on DNA segments (measured in centimorgans) that you share with the other person -- could be on any one chromosome or on multiple chromosomes. The more segments of DNA you share with a person, the closer the relationship of that person. Ancestry and 23&Me list the matches in order... starting with those you share the most DNA with. So a half sibling will be higher on the list than a 4th cousin, for example.

On 23&Me, if you also test a parent, the list will indicate which relatives are on your mother's side and which are on your father's side. (I don't know if Ancestry does that)
To see matches on ancestry for my son and I, I go under his DNA profile then click my name and see the common matches. Same with his grandmother and my daughters grandmother.
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Old 01-30-2019, 01:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
DNA is the best way to go when you have zero info. Ancestry has the largest database with family trees. See my thread http://www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post53841340

DNA matching only works if the other person has submitted their own DNA.
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Old 01-30-2019, 01:34 PM
 
5,457 posts, read 3,336,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lou View Post
My mother was an adoptee whose records were sealed, and I'm trying to find out who her biological father was. We found the adoption order and original birth certificate, but neither lists her father. I found what appeared to be a listing for the mother on a town history webpage that has since been taken offline, but that didn't shed any light on who the biological father was. I'd appreciate any ideas you might have for other avenues of research. Thanks!
There are times you have to look for information offline. Not all records have been digitized. It costs money.


Someone could be looking for you too for that matter. Maybe for years! Finding cousins should help. If you have any DNA matches contact them for what you need.

There is someone out there that knows the answer.You might have to do the research the old fashioned way. Writing letters and taking out ads in newspapers. If you know the birth town an ad in the local papers may reach someone who knew the family or is a part of the family.

If the town has a genealogical society contact them for look-ups. Post your request on Ancestry's message center and use familysearch.org.


Good luck!
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Old 01-30-2019, 01:39 PM
 
Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
DNA matching only works if the other person has submitted their own DNA.
That's why we're all telling the OP to do DNA. It works and there are free uploads once they do ancestry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
There are times you have to look for information offline. Not all records have been digitized. It costs money.


Someone could be looking for you too for that matter. Maybe for years! Finding cousins should help. If you have any DNA matches contact them for what you need.

There is someone out there that knows the answer.You might have to do the research the old fashioned way. Writing letters and taking out ads in newspapers. If you know the birth town an ad in the local papers may reach someone who knew the family or is a part of the family.

If the town has a genealogical society contact them for look-ups. Post your request on Ancestry's message center and use familysearch.org.


Good luck!
You're right, someone may very well be registered on adoption reunion but the pits is they now charge for things that were entered when it was free. I found my brothers there.

The OP can see my adoption blog if they want to go that route. DNA is still the easiest and probably faster then sifting through online records. Most people abandoned them.
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Old 01-30-2019, 03:53 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,196 posts, read 17,743,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
DNA matching only works if the other person has submitted their own DNA.
It's dependent on who else has tested, yes, but you do not need the unknown parent to test to confirm who they are. I found my grandfather's bio father, who died long before DNA testing was available. I was able to narrow it down to 4 possible brothers with only estimated 4th-6th cousins. Then when closer relatives started matching (my grandfather's half niece and half great nephew) it confirmed which one of those 4 brothers was my grandfather's father.
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Old 01-31-2019, 10:45 PM
 
971 posts, read 534,575 times
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I did some more research and found a lot. I assumed the marriage was shortly after my bio grandmother gave birth to my mother, but it turns out she actually got married 15 years later. I found the marriage date in church records. I'm making another assumption here, which is that this was her first marriage because she still had her maiden name. Of course, it's possible that she could have been married before and went back to her maiden name. All kinds of things could have happened in those 15 years. She seems to have spent her life in one very local area, so that should make research easier.

The bigger discovery was her elder sister's obituary, which listed the surviving siblings. That gave me the married names of her other two sisters, which led me to somebody who I believe is my bio-grandmother's nephew (the son of the sister who was the subject of the obituary). He's on Facebook, I was hoping to further confirm I had the right person by seeing people with my bio grandmother's maiden or married name in his friends list, but I don't see any such names. I'm going to contact him.

Last edited by Masamune; 01-31-2019 at 11:10 PM..
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Old 01-31-2019, 11:08 PM
 
971 posts, read 534,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
There are times you have to look for information offline. Not all records have been digitized. It costs money.
I did have to order the original birth certificate. The adoption was in New Jersey, the records were sealed, and an amended birth certificate was created with the adoptive parents' names (thankfully they used the original birth date - I heard some states that sealed records even amended the birth date). New Jersey was like a vice about the sealed records, until last year when a provision was finally made to allow adoptees and their descendants to get the original birth certificate. I got the long-form birth certificate, which is how I found where my mother was born.

Quote:
There is someone out there that knows the answer.
I hope that is still true. I think all of my bio grandmother's siblings are gone. I think a picture of my bio grandmother and some general biographical info is still within reach.

Quote:
If the town has a genealogical society contact them for look-ups. Post your request on Ancestry's message center and use familysearch.org.
I've been using a library account to access Ancestry.com, but I need my own account to post to the message boards. I'll register. A local genealogical society is a great idea. If the bio cousin doesn't have the information I need, I'll go that route.

Last edited by Masamune; 01-31-2019 at 11:28 PM..
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Old 02-01-2019, 04:59 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,790 posts, read 33,259,253 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lou View Post
I did have to order the original birth certificate. The adoption was in New Jersey, the records were sealed, and an amended birth certificate was created with the adoptive parents' names (thankfully they used the original birth date - I heard some states that sealed records even amended the birth date). New Jersey was like a vice about the sealed records, until last year when a provision was finally made to allow adoptees and their descendants to get the original birth certificate. I got the long-form birth certificate, which is how I found where my mother was born.


I hope that is still true. I think all of my bio grandmother's siblings are gone. I think a picture of my bio grandmother and some general biographical info is still within reach.


I've been using a library account to access Ancestry.com, but I need my own account to post to the message boards. I'll register. A local genealogical society is a great idea. If the bio cousin doesn't have the information I need, I'll go that route.
You're very lucky it was in NJ with them opening their records. My brothers was in NJ too; I found him in the adoption reunion web site back in 2004 before they opened records. He filled out his profile wrong so we lost about 4 years. Some how he could only be found via DOB and male, the state and town were filled out wrong so they didn't register on the form. He was within 10 miles of where he was adopted from, within 10 miles of where we lived and within 10 miles of where my dads business was. He actually knew who I was because he drove by our business, used to see me working but never stopped there. Thank God too that he never tried to pick me up!

I've already given you the link for my http://www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post52497844 so you can go there 1st when you do your Ancestry DNA and get your matches back. You'll then upload your raw file to the sites listed for free family matching where you may get even more matches. Use them with my blog on DNA adoption tips. While waiting for the DNA you can use my adoption reunion tips non DNA to check and register on reunion sites.

My blog for Adoption - Reunion Tips (non DNA)
Quote:
The most important site to register on is Adoption Reunion Registry. Make sure you do not lose your log in info & be sure to keep your info current.

Do a search on Adoption reunion registry. Try your search different ways; 1st would be gender; DOB; birth place. Do not select *searching for
If there are no matches; start by removal of gender; then removal of birth place

Adoption Reunion also has a message board. The main board is Search & Reunion. There are various ways to search there. By state; by Agency or Maternity Home; by year; also International Search & Reunion

ADOPTION REUNION WEB SITES-

ISSR - International Soundex Reunion Registry - is the oldest registry; started way back in the days before there was an Internet, so it has a lot of entries. Download the form; send via snail mail to register. ISRR allows any family member to register including aunts, uncles, cousins.. Other registries are pretty limiting to parents and siblings.

Check to see if your state has it's own adoption registry such as NJ
Colorado Voluntary Adoption Registry - Additional adoption contacts
Find my family Colorado Registry
Quickbase - Colorado Adoption Registry


G'S Adoption Registry
Troys List
FARR - Florida Adoption Reunion Registry - Fees: one time fee of $35 unless proof of financial hardship (i.e. eligibility for unemployment, SSI, public assistance, etc.) In these cases fees may be waived. $10 fee to update information
adopting back web site
You can also try a Family Search. See sample search results for Event: Birth, Place: Miami Florida, Event Range: 1950-1950, Country:United States

Blog - Musings of the Lame: Life as a Birthmother- many options to help you with Adoption Searches
[Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

Must read -
Why first mothers walk away from their children after reunion - "Why do first mothers cut off communication with their relinquished children?" a reader emailed us recently. I can only answer from my own my experience, and that of mothers who have shared their experiences. While the facts are different in every reunion, the problem often lies with miscommunication at the outset. Ironically new technology--iPhones, text messaging, Facebook, email--may exacerbate poor communication because they provide quicker--and thus more impulsive--exchanges.

In a relationship as fraught with risk as the one between first mother and adoptee, faulty communication can lead to doubt and distrust, which can lead to anger, which can lead to the suspension of contact.

How an Open Adoption becomes 'Closed'

Facebook related - There are many adoption related pages and groups on FB, here are a few to start you off

DNA Detectives
FIND ME I AM ADOPTED

Adopting back our children / Adoptees Terminating Our Adoptions
My blog for Adoption DNA searches

Quote:
Blogs
AncestryDNA for Adoptees: Search Strategies
Ancestry - Can DNA Help You Find Your Birth Parents? – Part I
Can DNA Help You Find Your Birth Parents? – Part II
23 and me stories


DNA Searches - There are groups of DNA search angels who will help you and educate you on how this works so you can then help others. Once you've used Ancestry, 23 and me or FTDNA and have your results, save the raw file to upload to FTDNA.com for about $99 and to GEDmatch - gedmatch.com and DNA Tools - dnagedcom.com both free. See the DNA adoption Yahoo Groups below where the DNA search angels will give you help.


GED Match Genesis- upload DNA free. Has tools that cost a donation of $10 per month.

DNA Tools FREE - has all of the links you'll need

___ Facebook Pages and Groups ___
DNA Detectives group
DNAAdoption Community page

___ Yahoo DNA Groups ___
DNA adoption Yahoo Groups

adoption DNA Yahoo Groups

DNA Detectives website
DNA Detectives FB group they help you figure out matches once you do DNA.
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