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Old 11-09-2006, 05:29 PM
 
244 posts, read 745,244 times
Reputation: 113

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I am very scared to relocate. I am planning to relocate next year sometime, and am starting to narrow down my choices. But I am afraid that once I move, I may not like it or I will regret the decision. I relocated five years ago to Atlanta and I do not like it here. So I am afraid that when I move again, I won't like it and have to pack up and move on again. But I agree with everyone else who says to go out and visit the area beforehand. I did not do that when I moved here. I just came. So the next spot I move to, I will definitely go and visit and see if I like it. And I will be sure to have a job lined up before I move. I failed to do that when I moved here, so I was out of a job for a few months and had to settle for a job I hated. So there is alot to think about before relocating. It is scary, but at the same time, it is like an adventure! I am tempted to just stay here in GA because of my fears, but I do not want to look back and say, "Why did I not do it?" It's just doing it that is very hard. It's so easy to just be comfortable where you are and not try new things.
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Old 11-09-2006, 06:03 PM
 
436 posts, read 519,942 times
Reputation: 243
I've lost count how many times I have moved in my life. I'll move again & again if my health is good. I say do it while you still can. Don't listen to naysayers with a narrow view of life, there's so much to see out in the big world.
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Old 11-09-2006, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Eastern Kentucky
12 posts, read 55,011 times
Reputation: 16
Red face scared

I am glad that there are others that feel the same as I do.
I have lived in Eastern Kentucky all my life, It is were my roots are, I have 2 children, In some ways I am afraid if I leave,I fear that they will forget who they are, but the area is lacking in JOBS... Houses are expensive, compared to what you get for your money. I want my kids to experience all that I had as a child, family and a sense of belonging, but on the other hand I want them to have chances that I never had.
I love this area, it is my home, everyone knows me and that gives me a sense of security...but I also want my children to experience new things and have more opportunities. The area has grown in the last 10 years, but I would like to see more.
I will be receiving a degree in May, and I would like to stretch my wings a bit and explore other opportunities. I want the best for my children as I know everyone does... I am considering making a small move to an area around Lexington or maybe Knoxville, tennesee..I know a lot of people who have left Easten Kentucky and found that they like Knoxville and surrounding areas a lot...
My biggest fear of leaving is that I don't know how bad the drug problems are... it is pretty bad here,
but I new a girl who moved to South Carolina, her daughter had a hard time fitting in, she turned to drugs to fit in..that scares the life out of me..
but as everyone says the drug problem is all over the country...
I would be thankful for any information
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Old 11-16-2006, 04:35 PM
 
75 posts, read 413,790 times
Reputation: 85
You have to have a sense of adventure when relocating - security is highly over-rated. Time, not money, is our greatest enemy. You can always get more money but once you're out of time, that's it. Don't waste time on regrets.
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Old 11-16-2006, 06:28 PM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,349,472 times
Reputation: 1461
Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzkirk View Post
You have to have a sense of adventure when relocating - security is highly over-rated. Time, not money, is our greatest enemy. You can always get more money but once you're out of time, that's it. Don't waste time on regrets.
Yes, I've come to realize that time is our greatest asset, yet I've spent the past three years in a constant mid life crisis.

I left a very good job in San Francisco, wanting to get out of the rat race. For three years I did a four hour commute each day, trying to get ahead. My house doubled and I decided to move to a place I do not like. I thought I could find a way to like it. It was a head decision. Now, I have a lovely home that is paid for in a very desirable neighborhood. Problem is, I don't connect with people here. I have not really even tried to get a life. I went from a career in banking to working in a domestic violence shelter. Thank God, my last day is tomorrow. I don't know what happens after that. I had planned to move back to CA or OR or even WA. CA is way expensive, so I probably cannot afford to own anything outright. I struggled with SAD growing up in MN, so I fear both OR and WA.

To complicate matters, I don't have any family or friends to speak of here, except for this guy I met nine months ago. Our relationship has been very rocky. He is now (maybe) realizing I may be gone, so maybe he'll come around. Ugh. All I am focusing on is my last day at work tomorrow. Then I want to regroup and find the courage somewhere inside to make another move, but I just don't know that I have it in me.

This is a great thread. Thanks. I support everyone who seeks to make their life better. Sillygal, I am 47, so I understand where you are coming from.
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Old 11-16-2006, 07:09 PM
 
Location: God's Country
21,614 posts, read 30,181,389 times
Reputation: 30158
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Yes, I've come to realize that time is our greatest asset, yet I've spent the past three years in a constant mid life crisis.

I left a very good job in San Francisco, wanting to get out of the rat race. For three years I did a four hour commute each day, trying to get ahead. My house doubled and I decided to move to a place I do not like. I thought I could find a way to like it. It was a head decision. Now, I have a lovely home that is paid for in a very desirable neighborhood. Problem is, I don't connect with people here. I have not really even tried to get a life. I went from a career in banking to working in a domestic violence shelter. Thank God, my last day is tomorrow. I don't know what happens after that. I had planned to move back to CA or OR or even WA. CA is way expensive, so I probably cannot afford to own anything outright. I struggled with SAD growing up in MN, so I fear both OR and WA.

To complicate matters, I don't have any family or friends to speak of here, except for this guy I met nine months ago. Our relationship has been very rocky. He is now (maybe) realizing I may be gone, so maybe he'll come around. Ugh. All I am focusing on is my last day at work tomorrow. Then I want to regroup and find the courage somewhere inside to make another move, but I just don't know that I have it in me.

This is a great thread. Thanks. I support everyone who seeks to make their life better. Sillygal, I am 47, so I understand where you are coming from.
Girl it sounds like you wasted enough time....move on and find someone else. I wasted 16 years with a guy. You need to be with someone who loves you and appreciates you, I am now. You CAN do it!!! Be brave, life is too short to be miserable! How about moving back to family or friends??? Do it for YOU!!!
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Old 12-03-2006, 07:16 AM
 
6 posts, read 38,957 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by sillygal View Post
Anyone out there, know that they want a different life, and just plain scared to step out there and do it? I have done this twice, and everything worked out twice. So why am I suddenly worried? Is it because I am 50 now, and before I was 37. I know the insecurity both scares me, and also excites me at the same time.....LOL. If u stay anywhere long enough it becomes secure, I am just wondering if I am just unhappy somewhere on the inside also. Fear of the unknown are natural, I know!

Since I have been on this board for so long, I value everyones opinions!!

Thank You
Sillygal:

Yes, I have moved so many times. Now I am in my late 50s and out of work. I need to work to support myself and my condo. Well, if it gets real bad I may have to move.. That is scary! I live in Connecticut, no family here. I have no one else with me except the cat. I hate the idea at this stage to move because I am desperiate to get a JOB. I thing most of the places I apply are looking at my age?? Because I have not had 1 interview in person yet. I have applied at Home Depot, Lowes, Nursing Homes. All I want is a JOB. I am not asking for much. I have worked for an Accounting Firm for over 17 years, I changed careers a few years ago and did Healthcare. Now all I want is a plain JOB. Locally"VERNON CT"
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Old 12-03-2006, 11:20 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,724,078 times
Reputation: 8837
Default Yes-

Quote:
Originally Posted by sillygal View Post
Anyone out there, know that they want a different life, and just plain scared to step out there and do it? I have done this twice, and everything worked out twice. So why am I suddenly worried? Is it because I am 50 now, and before I was 37. I know the insecurity both scares me, and also excites me at the same time.....LOL. If u stay anywhere long enough it becomes secure, I am just wondering if I am just unhappy somewhere on the inside also. Fear of the unknown are natural, I know!

Since I have been on this board for so long, I value everyones opinions!!

Thank You
Yes- It is a big change- and sort of feels like mid-life crisis. I feel stable- no money worries- but yet feel that my husband and I may need to relocate again- I need more of a city/culture- also the thought of the next 40 years of my life- well- that I guess is scary for everyone.

When we sold our house in Florida I was worried-about "the unknown" well- that is everywhere- we get one chance to live life- so I guess we each need to make the best of whatever we can- what is sort of scary for me is I really have no family left(parents deceased) and the next decision is all on me- I recently moved to a place my husband was transferred, but don't think I will stay. Oh well, hope that helped a bit.

Sometimes it helps just to know others feel the same.

sunny.
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Old 12-03-2006, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,724,078 times
Reputation: 8837
Default Just a thought-

Quote:
Originally Posted by sillygal View Post
There are soooooo many wonderful places to live in this world, how did u decide? I have been weighing CO<OR, and ID........back and forth. Do u just sit down and write the pros and cons? Do u go by weather? Do u go by employment?

How is everyone making up their mind? Do most of you travel alot and see these places? And just know? UGH!!!

Anyone else going thru the turmoil of decision making ? And if you are, how are u doing it? and dealing with it?
You may want to visit- stay at a hotel and explore the area- are you moving alone? When I first moved (after college) I went to Boston and LOVED it- explored the city, etc. Take some time to see different area- also Frommer's guide is good for comparing different states- Figure out your preferences- if you are single you may want some nightlife- There are alot of choices BUT do not believe what you see on tv- there is so much trash reality now- it only gives you a slanted view (see Florida threads- esp. So Florida-cost of living) The worst thing to do would be to just move without researching/asking around. Good luck!
sunny.
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Old 12-03-2006, 11:40 PM
 
449 posts, read 1,474,227 times
Reputation: 197
We've moved to a few different states, the reasons varied. I was underemployed for a few years so it took longer to move than I hoped and then ended up in a place that is not as promising as all my research led us to believe. This was a mistake and now after only a short time we need to find a place where decent pay/work is almost guaranteed, so we're looking at cities that are larger than we like. It's a strange thing, we've always done better when we didn't do a lot of research. Have no idea why it works out that way, maybe a little ignorance makes you braver. I have found that being wrong about here has made me more nervous about moving again but its necessary. We've moved enough that I already know it will only get worse if we stay so the only choice is to move forward.
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