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Why do some people think that moving in is okay? And don't "get it".
I knew a woman, she was moving to where I lived, and "assumed" she could crash with me...no. I am an adult, she is an adult. If she is moving to a city, she can stay in a hotel while looking for a place. I don't think I was obligated to give her a place to stay..
Why was I so "mean"? Because, I have seen things like this go bad....where the person never moves out, or pays rent. I have no need for drama in my life.
this^
I have friends out of state as well as foreign countries and I do not want to stay with them or crash (doesn't the word crash indicate an accident of some sort which can be violent in nature) at their homes. To their credit, I am always invited to stay with any and all of them, to my credit...I do not stay with any of them.
The reason for me is because I really, really, really like and need my privacy. As the oldest of five children privacy was not a courtesy extended to me while growing up and I lived by the needs and schedules of my siblings and parents. Fast forward to moving out at the age of 19 and having a roommate...to live around their comings and goings and picking/cleaning up after them.
When I make travel arrangements they are according to my needs for accomodations, proximity to the things I like to do as well as public transportation if I need it. I am happy to visit friends and loved ones if and when they have the time and I am always welcome when I travel. Why? Because deep down they truly appreciate that I do not put them out in any way, shape, or form...and that is because I have a need for autonomy and independence which doesn't interfere with anyone elses need for space.
As far as having such a hard time sharing space, life is short and we should make every effort to live our lives as we envision them and to our comfort; I view my privaacy as a luxury. There are many situations in life that we are not in control of and we learn how to cope as best we can with these events, however, when we are in control...we should act accordingly. Just my view on the matter.
Oh and by the way, in some places if you allow someone the courtesy of staying in your home (even if it is a family member) and they choose not to leave you may have to get a formal eviction procedure in order to get them out of your home. True story!
Best regards, sincerely
HomeIsWhere...
Last edited by HomeIsWhere...; 05-05-2013 at 06:26 AM..
Reason: Added a "by the way"...
I have friends out of state as well as foreign countries and I do not want to stay with them or crash (doesn't the word crash indicate an accident of some sort which can be violent in nature) at their homes. To their credit, I am always invited to stay with any and all of them, to my credit...I do not stay with any of them.
The reason for me is because I really, really, really like and need my privacy. As the oldest of five children privacy was not a courtesy extended to me while growing up and I lived by the needs and schedules of my siblings and parents. Fast forward to moving out at the age of 19 and having a roommate...to live around their comings and goings and picking/cleaning up after them.
When I make travel arrangements they are according to my needs for accomodations, proximity to the things I like to do as well as public transportation if I need it. I am happy to visit friends and loved ones if and when they have the time and I am always welcome when I travel. Why? Because deep down they truly appreciate that I do not put them out in any way, shape, or form...and that is because I have a need for autonomy and independence which doesn't interfere with anyone elses need for space.
As far as having such a hard time sharing space, life is short and we should make every effort to live our lives as we envision them and to our comfort; I view my privaacy as a luxury. There are many situations in life that we are not in control of and we learn how to cope as best we can with these events, however, when we are in control...we should act accordingly. Just my view on the matter.
Oh and by the way, in some places if you allow someone the courtesy of staying in your home (even if it is a family member) and they choose not to leave you may have to get a formal eviction procedure in order to get them out of your home. True story!
Best regards, sincerely
HomeIsWhere...
This is exactly how I feel. I also come from a large family; My mom and dad (who've been married for 53 years) raised 4 meat-head boys and 4 hard-headed girls (8 kids), so I, too, place a premium on privacy and absolute peace and quiet.
Sometimes I stay with family and friends when I travel, sometimes I stay in a hotel. It just depends on which way the wind is blowing when I get into town. In other words, I just play it by ear .
2011, 2013, 2016. I can tolerate all sorts of people for a while, but I'd rather be alone at least half of the time. I enjoy a good conversation and sharing a meal. I don't need to be entertained.
First, FYI, if you allow a person to stay over, you are opening yourself up to all kinds of problems. I have read that in extreme cases, the "host" must actually get an eviction notice and go through a 30-day legal rigmarole to evict a non-paying "guest".
Second, I think the OP sounds like an entitled freeloader, and there is NO WAY I would ever allow such a person to spend even one night in my home. Also, no one forces people like the OP to stay with someone who won't give in the his/her wants and needs. As others have said about the host, "his home, his rules". If the OP doesn't like it, s/he should do the host a favor and stay elsewhere.
And as far as Latinos go, in my experience, many "newly arrived" (and even second and third generation U.S. citizens with Latino heritage) do not respect MANY different kinds of boundaries, and that is why, I think, so many non-Latino people have a problem with Latinos in general.
And, to be clear, I don't think there is anything wrong with the Latino culture, but I just personally prefer the WASP culture -- probably because that is what I grew up with, so that is what I am most comfortable with, and what I prefer for myself. (And, btw, I am voting for Gary Johnson, as I am definitely NOT a Trump supporter.)
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and 4 hard-headed girls (8 kids), so I, too, place a premium on privacy and absolute peace and quiet.
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