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I feel like I know the answer here but just looking to hear from others who have moved far away from where they grew up, not due to force but of their own volition, yet experienced doubts and fears nonetheless.
We are 99.9% sure we will move from Texas to Iowa by the summer of 2012.
A bit of background info: I have been in Texas since I was 3, and my family are all native Texans for quite a few generations back. I was raised near Corpus Christi and have lived in San Antonio since middle school.
I have always wanted out of Texas, as long as I can remember.
My fiance (we'll be married march 2011) is originally from Iowa, moved here in high school, and misses living in Iowa, also doesn't like Texas.
We have 3 kids together, 8, 13, and 18 (but the eldest would most likely stay in Texas when we move).
We are full time college students and had originally planned to move after graduation but that's still a ways off. We are both a few (3-4) classes from having our Associate degrees. We've recently researched university options in Iowa and discovered that for me anyway, the cost of tuition there, even as a non-resident, is a good 7 to 8 thousand a year cheaper than if I stay here and go to the only school in my area that offers my degree (it's private).
So the option is to stay here, finish school, pay for my schooling here at around $22,000 a year (tuition figure only), and be here another 2 or 3 years at a minimum, or take the leap and move once we graduate from community college and finish school in Iowa where tuition is much cheaper and where we'd rather be. Our plan is to finish school at the University of Northern Iowa, then I will probably go to grad school at the University of Iowa in Iowa City. We think we will settle there, but who knows. Once I have that degree I will be in a field that is in high demand and we could choose to move again with ease (maybe Colorado, our second choice).
We bought a house here in 2007 and would need to sell it, and by waiting until 2012 we should have enough money saved to move and be able to start school in Iowa that fall without too long of a break (just a semester) after graduation from the community college.
When I think of the pros and cons, Iowa wins. Four seasons, snowy winters (we both prefer the cold), no brutal summers, good schools (both for our kids and us), and the University of Iowa having a top ranking program for my career choice for grad school. Plus, most of the area we are considering are river towns. We both want to live near the water (but not the beach, I grew up on the Texas coast).
Cost of living seems comparable, and as I said before, college education would actually be cheaper. Finally, we are a same sex couple and we will be marrying in Iowa in March; living in a state where our marriage is recognized and valid would be a bonus. A challenge will be securing housing when we first get there as we'll need to rent but we have dogs and cats and finding something affordable that allows pets will be a challenge. If possible we would like to buy a used mobile home for "temporary" (2 years) housing. Something cheap, even if there is lot rent, where we can have our pets.
My fiance doesn't have any family in Iowa anymore aside from one aunt, and still has some friends there from high school, but none are in the area where we'd be moving to (NE Iowa).
I can't think of any good reasons to stay in San Antonio with the exception of friends and family. We don't have a ton of friends but some of my oldest/dearest are here. Then again (I tell myself), we are so busy we hardly see them anyway and most of our interaction is facebook and the phone, so how much difference does it really make?
Family is kind of the same. My mom lives an hour away but our relationship is kind of rocky. We get together for holidays and birthdays. My brother is in prison, 5 hours from me, I don't visit as often as I should but if we move then that will be almost never.
People are reacting with disbelief and shock when we discuss our possible plans. These same people are all people who have lived here all their lives and can't understand why we'd want to leave.
So despite our excitement at the prospect of finally moving out of here, I am having all these second thoughts and doubts. On the other hand, though, I know I will be full of regret if we do stay and I really can't stomach the idea of living here forever.
I feel that moving fears are normal, it's a big deal to entirely uproot your life and take a chance for something better. It sounds like you are being cautious and planning all that you can, but it also seems that you know in your heart that staying in Texas is not the right path. I feel that having your marriage be recognized and valid is huge, something I fear Texas will not be able to do for a very, very long time.
It is quite the norm that wherever one moves, there are going to be fears of the unknown, and the newness of it all. But what a great experience for you to experience, and how great to be able to live some place new and different. It is stressful, and nerve wrecking, all at the same time while being exciting to. Good Luck to you, hope it is a very pleasant experience.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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We moved from the SF Bay area up here to Seattle in 1993, with kids ages
12, 7, and 5. Adding to the situation was buying a business here, after 17 years in a secure job. Yes, there was a lot of stress, especially since our house hadn't sold when I came up and lived here 6 months before my wife and kids came, and spent a lot of time and money driving or flying back and forth. I'd do it again in a second, as it worked out great in the end.
thanks everyone. I was discussing this with my mom and she was freaking out. Then she seemed to calm down and say go for it, but she has me worrying now about the house. My biggest challenge (our biggest challenge I should say) will be getting this house ready to sell, while living in it, and getting it sold in time to move. There are a bunch of cosmetic things we need to do to get the most money. Hopefully we can make some hardcore progress this summer.
I know how you feel! My husband and I are making a move to a new state (Ohio to FL) and are in a similar position -- although we just bought our condo in FL so now we are trying to fast track our move since we have a house here too. We can't afford two homes for very long. Getting our home in Ohio ready to sell has been VERY stressful for me... all the cosmetic stuff and work is overwhelming at times and I'm so stressed about getting it sold with the terrible housing market.
At the same time I feel such a sense of excitement about the move. I'm sooo tired of Ohio. I don't ever want to see snow again. The cold, cloudy depressed area of Ohio is killing me! I had to laugh that you didn't want another "brutal summer", lol different strokes We joke about aging in reverse when we get to FL
So, I think it is normal to have fears/doubts/anxiety about aspects of moving, but the payoff is worth it
I was so excited for us to move from Indiana to AZ for a voluntary job transfer last year! Singing while packing, full of hope and energy. But 1 day before I just got that "what the h#ll am I doing?" feeling, I cried and hugged our neighbor kids, cried at my pretty house, my family I was leaving, boo hoo hoo. But the next day I was up to leave and it was an awesome journey West.
I have no regrets even though its not been easy. There is no way everyone will understand or approve, but if you and your fiance are in agreement then its the right thing to do. Time to live for tomorrow and step into your new future.
Cut Out the Middle Man (state) Move Directly to Florida
I moved to Florida twenty five years ago from Chicago. It is my experience that deep down most folks at some time or another want to get out of the bitter cold and the sunshine states in South and South West have been gaining population at the expense of the "Rust Belt" for decades. I love Chicago and Missouri where I was born, but why wait? Many jobs today allow you to live just about anywhere. Why not where the weather is better. Why wait until you retire for FLorida?
Internet allows you a great opportunity to check out areas and evenindividual homes from where you are now. Visitors to my website from all over the country have picket out a house long distance and had a home waiting when they arrived. I would check out any landlord, home seller, real estate agent before making any committment, but again that can be done long distance.
I moved to Florida twenty five years ago from Chicago. It is my experience that deep down most folks at some time or another want to get out of the bitter cold and the sunshine states in South and South West have been gaining population at the expense of the "Rust Belt" for decades. I love Chicago and Missouri where I was born, but why wait? Many jobs today allow you to live just about anywhere. Why not where the weather is better. Why wait until you retire for FLorida?
Internet allows you a great opportunity to check out areas and evenindividual homes from where you are now. Visitors to my website from all over the country have picket out a house long distance and had a home waiting when they arrived. I would check out any landlord, home seller, real estate agent before making any committment, but again that can be done long distance.
Yuck, Florida!! Sorry. I realize it's an unpopular opinion!! I have family there and have spent a lot of time there and to me it's just like Texas. Okay so the beaches are prettier but other than that. Yuck! Hot hot hot. Sooooo sick of hot.
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We joke about aging in reverse when we get to FL 
Cut Out the Middle Man (state) Move Directly to Florida
