tired of folks discouraging me from moving! (job, school, move back)
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yesterday, I was telling my dad I got rejected for a job that would have required me to move to phoenix had I gotten selected. I have been out of school for five years with a bachelors in marketing and can't find a job, especially where I live in indiana (my fam does not live here. I moved here originally for a relationship) so im looking wherever I can, plus I wanna move anyway. My dad was happy I didn't get that job because he says I shouldn't go where I have no family or don't know anyone else living there. I actually have had alot of people tell me this. I don't get why people think that something is wrong with you if you want to move to a new city where you don't know anyone. I would think since I speak english and people in the other cities speak english, I might manage to make friends. I could be wrong, though.
I grew up in alabama so my parents and many cousins still live there. I have family in several other states but not where I really wanna live (I wanna live on the west coast...seattle, portland, maybe san fran/north cal top choices).. everybody ,especially my family, thinks I should move back to alabama or a state close to it so that I am close to home. I have had people tell me that moving away from family is dumb or that I shouldn't do it. or that if I go somewhere where I know no one I will be miserable.
I get so much crap from family when I say something about moving to a city that's not near them. Even ever since I have lived up here in indiana, they are always pressuring me to move close to them and I hate going to family reunions because people always give me crap about living here.
I will be 30 this year and im tired of everyone telling me how to live. I know I cant stop it but I wish I could deal with it better. I want to move to where I wanna be before life passes me by and I can't do it. I'm feeling hopeless , though, because I wonder if I am wrong for wanting to live away from family plus saving money for a move is sooo hard right now cause I don't make that much..
I guess your family misses you. I haven't seen one of my sons since 2005 and it really hurts a parent when neither one can afford to visit. You really don't expect to have that kind of distance from your child when they are growing up, and it is an emotional void that can never be filled. It hurts to be a stranger to your beloved child.
If everyone thought that they should stick close to their blood relations, the entire country would be crowded into the original 13 colonies And your folks didn't just drop down into Alabama - their parents, grandparents or a generation before came from somewhere else, most likely leaving kin behind.
You are the offspring, sibling and extended member of the family, not their clone. It's selfish of them to expect you to repeat the patterns of their lives if you are drawn to something different. And just remember - they will, in the natural course of things, die before you, having followed their own path. You'll be left behind, resenting that you allowed them to bully you into following that same path, wondering what your life might have been if you'd been steadfast in going the way you really wanted.
Except for maybe a couple people who I'm not even close to every single family member I have lives in VA. A year and a half ago I moved to Colorado. I knew 2 people here which did make it easier for me. I've been introduced to friends of friends, made friends at work, etc. It's a big world...and I just didn't want to spend my entire life living in the same place. GO. MOVE. As soon as you can!! You will always regret it if you don't. You'll make new friends and if you don't like the move, then you always have family to move back to. I miss my family and I know they miss me, but we adjusted. We talk on the phone, text, skype, there are tons of ways to keep in touch these days. Don't let anyone guilt you into not living the kind of life you really desire.
I agree with Strawberrykiki and Silverwing - and I know what gobrien means - I live apart from my siblings, mother, most of my extended family and 2 of my adult children. It isn't easy - but with phone, FB, Skype it makes it easier. Don't let your family stopping you from moving - this is your choice not theirs.
I wholeheartedly agree with picklejuice. You have no idea how lucky you are to have a family that cares.
Like it or not your autumn years will depend on how you embrace your early years. If you fail to build family and friend relationships you will find yourself alone at a time when it is very difficult to make new friends.
Do your own thing. It can be hard to move away from family, but it is sometimes necessary. I had lots of people discourage me from moving even though I was flat broke where I lived before. I moved and those that were very bitter stayed bitter, and those who were most important to me got used to it.
IMHO, you're just plain lucky to have been born into a family that gives a crap where you are and where you are going!
Agree with this too...Nonetheless, live away from your family while you have no kids of your own, do your own thing. Then when you do have a family, it is much easier to be near family to watch the kiddo every once in a while without paying babysitting, or for daycare, etc.
IMHO, you're just plain lucky to have been born into a family that gives a crap where you are and where you are going!
Quote:
Originally Posted by donsabi
I wholeheartedly agree with picklejuice. You have no idea how lucky you are to have a family that cares.
Like it or not your autumn years will depend on how you embrace your early years. If you fail to build family and friend relationships you will find yourself alone at a time when it is very difficult to make new friends.
Be grateful for what you have.
I agree with you two...I am thankful for my loving family. I have a friend whose family is much more worse and more overbearing. he is 27 and they think he is too young to live on his own and they don't want him to have a drivers license (he lives with them so this is their way of trapping him!!)
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And your folks didn't just drop down into Alabama - their parents, grandparents or a generation before came from somewhere else, most likely leaving kin behind. 
