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Old 04-28-2019, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Western MA
1,592 posts, read 1,037,245 times
Reputation: 4116

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I think people who hate where they live, would hate the next place they move to, also. The problem is usually within themselves.
I really dislike when someone makes this pat statement. I've lived places in places that I loved and I've lived in places that I hated. The difference for me in all of these cases was the place. The problem is not always just "themselves" (although it can be). Some people don't thrive in certain places for lots and lots of reasons.

 
Old 04-28-2019, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Western MA
1,592 posts, read 1,037,245 times
Reputation: 4116
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
It sometimes is within themselves, but just as frequently it's a bad fit.

Let's face it. It is relatively easy to live where you were planted on this earth. Whether you don't like where you are from because it's expensive to live there, it's boring, or you don't love the weather, odds are you will fit in. At least feel comfortable. To start, you will speak the way the locals do. The food will be familiar. Even if you are different in a particular way, you will fit in.

If your politics happen to be different, you will get a pass. People know you. You are not a dangerous "Left Wing Extremist" or "Right Wing Extremist". You are someone's brother or sister and you're OK - even though you have strange ideas.

Moving can be tricky. Try that different politics thing with a regional accent.


Some places are just more accepting of others and there are places where certain personalities just will not adjust. Sometimes people have to live someplace they don't like because of a job commitment.


It's always easier to stay put. However, I kind of like moving. However, I only left my home area, in all honesty, because we could no longer afford to live there in the way that we were accustomed. We also had to send our kids to college and taxes kept going up. I do miss my friends back in the NY Metro area and I go there at least 4 or 5 times a year and stay a week or two.

One place we moved was not a good fit. The other is. We still may move a third time to Florida. We have family there and friends. Almost everyone is from somewhere else. And, it's God's Waiting Room.

It's also easier to move to a place where there are a lot of transplants. That isn't my opinion. That's been studied.
Not sure if I agree with this for me anyway. I was born and grew up in Northern NJ. I never liked it and never felt right there, even as a kid and a teenager. I got out as soon as I possibly could and will never, ever go back. I hated going back even for short visits.
 
Old 04-29-2019, 02:37 AM
 
407 posts, read 145,438 times
Reputation: 259
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizcuit View Post
I really dislike when someone makes this pat statement. I've lived places in places that I loved and I've lived in places that I hated. The difference for me in all of these cases was the place. The problem is not always just "themselves" (although it can be). Some people don't thrive in certain places for lots and lots of reasons.
True. I don't even like the French language (too irregular and soft, although I like how Old French sounded). I was expecting to be disappointed by my Paris visit. Yet when the plane was descending over it I got the same feeling I get when I return to my home city. It was a great experience for me, like I've been there before. The vibe was really romantic and artistic. I don't really believe in past lives but it felt more like home than my home city. But since 2014 it's not an easy place to live in.

I'm very used to my home city, it's true. The place itself has areas I love the vibes of. But I don't click with most people living here. I made more friends abroad for a year than for 20+ here.
 
Old 04-29-2019, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,422 posts, read 4,288,747 times
Reputation: 5214
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizcuit View Post
I really dislike when someone makes this pat statement. I've lived places in places that I loved and I've lived in places that I hated. The difference for me in all of these cases was the place. The problem is not always just "themselves" (although it can be). Some people don't thrive in certain places for lots and lots of reasons.
Exactly.
 
Old 04-29-2019, 06:40 PM
 
68 posts, read 35,627 times
Reputation: 88
It hasn't been anything dramatic or horrible but I really feel like things have been off since we've lived here. Yes, it makes sense that some places just aren't right for whatever reason.
 
Old 04-30-2019, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Western MA
1,592 posts, read 1,037,245 times
Reputation: 4116
I felt this way when I moved to Kew Gardens (Queens), NYC. I felt off almost instantly and was never happy there at all. I had lived in Manhattan NYC for years and loved it, never any issues. Kew Gardens, just horrible. Nothing really terrible happened there, but I was just so unhappy there. It took me four years to move out of there, but once I did, it was like a giant weight slid off of my shoulders. I moved to NH and now MA and I've been happy with where I was ever since
 
Old 04-30-2019, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,754 posts, read 1,588,443 times
Reputation: 3449
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I think people who hate where they live, would hate the next place they move to, also. The problem is usually within themselves.

This is such a crock. I managed to escape from a totally ghetto city to a beautiful coastal paradise. I was miserable and constantly pissed and full of anxiety in GhettoVille, but happier than I've been in my life in Paradise. Beautiful surroundings are important to me. Ugliness & graffiti are depressing and totally unbalance me.

Most times it's the surroundings. Most people don't realize how much aesthetics matter.
 
Old 04-30-2019, 10:03 AM
 
7,980 posts, read 3,459,774 times
Reputation: 11230
Quote:
Originally Posted by dnvrsoul View Post
for me it's Florida-one crappy job after another..almost been mugged a few times by homeless people..one way or another I'm moving back to Denver. I lothe this place...
Wages in Florida are notoriously low. So many people come here from all over employers seem to have their pick of the litter.
 
Old 04-30-2019, 01:27 PM
 
407 posts, read 145,438 times
Reputation: 259
I felt that way in the Netherlands. It's a beautiful place, yet I had so much trouble there. It's like everyone and everything shouted "Leave!". On the other hand places like Poland, Hungary, parts of France and Germany "call me". I just wish they had easier languages (Old French was more logically pronounced/written imo).
 
Old 05-03-2019, 07:58 PM
Status: "Excited to move to Vegas!" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: Beaverton, OR
5,535 posts, read 5,900,677 times
Reputation: 6324
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizcuit View Post
I really dislike when someone makes this pat statement. I've lived places in places that I loved and I've lived in places that I hated. The difference for me in all of these cases was the place. The problem is not always just "themselves" (although it can be). Some people don't thrive in certain places for lots and lots of reasons.
Yeah agreed, thatís an incredibly ignorant statement that completely ignores well researched facts. Take it to the extreme and if it doesnít hold, youíre wrong, plain and simple. So you think someone in Venezuela has no right to complain of being unhappy and wouldnít be happier in an American city??

Iím not happy in Portland because Iím surrounded by extremely liberal people whose world views I donít share, whose attitudes about most things I donít share, and beyond that I donít like being rained on for 200 days per year, I donít like bad weather 9 months out of every year, and I donít like 10% income taxes when that eats into my money. I donít like the bad traffic, I donít like the lame hours of restaurants, I donít like how little there is to do. You think Iíll be miserable in my new house with a nice swimming pool, hot tub, and fire pit in Las Vegas where thereís endless entertainment and 24/7 restaurants and low traffic and 300 days of sunshine?! Haha ok, whatever you say. Iíll take that bet any day.
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