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Old 02-16-2012, 12:36 AM
 
5,702 posts, read 16,188,342 times
Reputation: 8570

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I think I am in one of those places. I keep holding out hope that I might fit in one day. As the years wear on, I lose more hope. I moved to Indiana a few years ago and its been a struggle. Its a culture that doesn't suit me. Its very conservative, religious and self righteous. I didnt think much about it really because I tend to get along with most people. I don't have to surround myself with people that think just like I do but here its borderline radical. Even small talk with the neighbors is a struggle. I have never lived in a place where I have zero in common with people.

Aside from the political and religious stuff other things are a hassle too. Things are done differently here. Its a bubble. People make up their own rules on how they do things. Many times its unethical and if you question it, you are being a problem. Try to fight it? Forget it, everyone seems related to each other. There is a good possibility you will burn more than one bridge. There are odd laws that make getting the simplest things completed a huge hassle. Changing your address, getting plates for your car and heck even joining the library was like getting government clearance. For being such a religious area, swingers are big here. Some of the most horrific sexual assaults are committed by teenagers with christian upbringing and don't get me started on the whole gun thing. I have never met so many people that haven't left their home state before. They see no reason to. All they could ever want is right here. I'd move asap but I can't put my child through another move. I will wait till he graduates. I will miss my house and the cheaper cost of living but its not enough to keep me here unless something majorly changes.

 
Old 02-22-2012, 11:07 PM
 
102 posts, read 508,937 times
Reputation: 57
I feel like this in Phoenix, been here for 9 years. I tried leaving here in 2005 to NC, then got sucked back. Then left my old boring desk job here after 5 years to California to make the break and that didnt work out so i got sucked back again.

So its been about 9 months living in AZ again, just got laid off three weeks ago from my temp job, hopefully collect some UI until i find a new job quickly in the new location. . Gonna sell everything in my house, and maybe the house too . I feel out of my element here and the demographics not where i imagine where i would be living at my age 33. ..Its one big melting pot and something about the people here that is alittle strange. I feel like when i talk to majority people out here they dont seem to communicate on same level of understanding , so i just go with it then turn around and think in my head is this person for realz and much more? LOL I also cannot stand the hot 6 month summers, i think last summer did for me.. It was record heat wave here, and i spent 3 months looking for jobs and going to interviews in shirt and tie.. The only plus side is the winters here from December-May and easy access to CA, NV or neighboring citys, then the fun starts all over again living in the oven the remaing times starting from May- November.

Never again LOL I am seeking to leave here in about 3 weeks to try something out in Colorado or go back to Wisconsin where i grew up. Hopefully i will have a better outlook of being much more happier up there then here with a fresh new start.

Last edited by mark55us; 02-22-2012 at 11:25 PM..
 
Old 02-25-2012, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts for the time being
312 posts, read 619,415 times
Reputation: 363
You have just described my entire year in Boston. Its incredible that this disastrous black cloud that I must have picked up on my way over here has just zapped me - HARD - over and over. Never have I had so much go terribly wrong in such a short time.
 
Old 02-25-2012, 10:17 PM
 
5,702 posts, read 16,188,342 times
Reputation: 8570
Well I just heard the worst story ever on a bad relocation. Sorry folks but I am about to bum you out. It made me rethink about whether not I should even whine about my relocation. My sister used to be a military wife and would often get close to the other wives in the military housing. She had a friend that found out her husband was having an affair and he wanted a divorce. He came home from leave and basically told her to get lost. He wanted to start his new life and ditch her and the kids. The military offered this woman a relocation of her choosing. With no job and being a SAHM for years she wasn't sure what to do. She could move back to her hometown but didnt have a good relationship with her mother or move to Texas where her brother lived. He told her it would be a good start. He ran his own business and she could work in the office handling the paperwork. The kids would adjust and already have friends as his children were the same age.

She moved and within the first week her apartment was broken into. A month later the water heater broke and flooded the apartment ruining what was left of her possessions. The kids were still reeling from the divorce, wondering why daddy doesn't call or visit and not adjusting well to the new school. She struggled with the demands of being a single mom, working full time and balancing it all. 6 months into the relocation she and her daughters were out for the day running errands. A drunk driver hit them. Both children were killed in the accident. My sister only talked to her a few times after that and all the woman kept saying was she never should have moved.
 
Old 02-26-2012, 12:02 AM
 
Location: Near L.A.
4,114 posts, read 9,228,890 times
Reputation: 3346
Quote:
Originally Posted by westwind15 View Post
You have just described my entire year in Boston. Its incredible that this disastrous black cloud that I must have picked up on my way over here has just zapped me - HARD - over and over. Never have I had so much go terribly wrong in such a short time.
Then you probably wouldn't like San Francisco and the Bay Area altogether, either. While I've never been to Boston, there are a lot of Northeastern, and particularly New England, transplants out here. Some of the East Coast transplants even admit that it's an "East Coast city on the West Coast," which admittedly is why they like it. While I've never been to Boston, all the stereotypes of its people truly apply in many areas in the Bay.

It could also be that I'm from the South and some people here have a sort of anti-heartland mentality. Or, it could be that the local boosters like to strangely make themselves akin to Portland, New York, Boston, and Paris all at the same time. Okay, okay, that's an exaggeration, but it's not far off. And if you're from L.A. or S.D., you're "unenlightened." Just skim these City-Data forums!

Don't get me wrong, I like the Bay most days. There are plenty of normal, non-douchey, laid-back people here. However, I maybe be moving down to your neck of the woods--San Diego--or the Inland Empire or inland Orange County in the coming months. Honestly, I think it will be a nice change.
 
Old 02-26-2012, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts for the time being
312 posts, read 619,415 times
Reputation: 363
Actually., I LOVED San Francisco. I lived there for one glorious year, then left it to take a job offer, a job that I ended up getting laid off of 2 years later. I kick myself every day for leaving S.F.

Boston has been one nightmare after another. I arrived with a good chunk of money in the bank and contract work in place. Two weeks after I arrived, my entire bank account was wiped out by the IRS. Seems my ex never paid off his half (plus penalties, plus interest, plus plus plus) of some old tax debt. They found me first. Flat broke overnight. (He is judgment proof.) Then both of my job contracts ended, as the companies could not afford to keep us contract workers in this economy. Oh, and my partial unemployment ended in Dec. 2011.

Probably from all the stress, I have had 2 small strokes since I arrived, which I am coping with daily. One reason I moved here was to be closer to my brother, who lived here. 1 month after I arrived, his wife's mother became quite long-term ill, and they moved to VA. to be near her.

I can only assume that our home inspector was blind and did the inspection with a white cane. Just as a few of the many highlights, we did not have heat for more than a day or so at a time (ancient rotten oil heater) until January 2012, despite having moved in March 2011. We lived in one room with space heaters, which left me a $700 electric bill. Within weeks of moving in, the basement flooded. We got that cleaned up. Then a sewage line broke and flooded the entire basement with 6" deep sewage. That took some time to get repaired and cleaned up. Everything in the basement was destroyed.

I got a brand new gas heater installed. Finally, heat! Glory be! Less than 3 weeks later, someone did not check the file (and the note where we cancelled oil service) and doused our basement with 100 gallons of diesel heating oil. Now I have visits from the fire dept, the haz mat people, the environmental people, the clean up people.... and the entire house smells like a truck stop, all of which will keep me from selling this place and getting OUT of here for quite some time. Then my beloved German shepherd fell down the brick steps, and ended up so damaged from the fall on brick that we had to have her put down.

All this in 11 months. AARRGGHH!!!
 
Old 02-26-2012, 10:39 AM
 
7,495 posts, read 9,759,459 times
Reputation: 7394
Oh my gosh! Hugs to some of you guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003 View Post
I refer to where I live as the black hole. It sucks you in and you can't leave. Every time I leave here I feel so much better about life in general. This time when I leave I am NEVER coming back.
I feel that way about where I live. Everyone I know who has ever lived here and tried to move away (including me) ended up stuck back here. It's like a huge prison, this place, and everybody's locked up and angry and I look around me and just see everybody going nowhere.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LargeKingCat View Post
Yeah it was becoming evident when I lived in Texa, where I grew up, that I was spending every last cent I made on travel so I could take a vacation and get away eery tme I had a day off even if it was just for a day. And I loathed the idea of having to come back when it was over.

I was out there last year. No things were NOT Better. Nothing to do, nobody to do anything with. Keep hearing all this yakity *** about how friendly people are here, I sent Email to 32 supposed facebook friends (some of whom I knew in person for years) And told everyone I would be in town, two people met me for lunch and "Had to run" Nothing from the others but excuses. Kind of "We are friendly to everyone EXCEPT YOU" Which is just kind of how life always was for me there. Had to get out and back to my life, better off here.
Family Dynamics suck there too.
I said after that, never again. NO MORE TRIPS TO TEXAS. It never eer worked out for me there and all the financial and personal success I have achieved in life was OUTSIDE of that place.
That's exactly the way I feel about Colorado. Although I've lived in other places off and on, I've lived here by far the longest, and have not one friend. Nope, not one. After the equivalent of about 25 years here. If my closest few family members weren't here there'd be nothing here for me. It's better for me to get the heck out now (or as soon as I can, I'm trying ). It's depressing and at the same time maddening when I hear constant talk that some nearby city makes the list for healthiest, best city to live in, best city for singles, best city to find a job, yadayada. I feel like saying "what???"

I can't say that everything's really gone wrong here, but very little has gone right either.
 
Old 02-26-2012, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,382,661 times
Reputation: 3533
Wow! I'm glad I found this thread. Now I don't feel so alone and weird. Sorry about all of your negative experiences..My area felt okay when my husband and I first moved here. But around 1999 or 2000 or so we both felt a strong urge to move someplace else. (Not because things seemed "bad" here. We just wanted to experience life in a new area.)...Anyway some "family stuff" came up and we didn't move after all. We had a few more okay years. Then things started to slide down and down and down...We had so many weird experiences all in a row. (Things we never could have imagined!) It's felt like a "negative vortex" for quite awhile now...A few years ago my husband passed away and my son is battling brain tumors now. And I sure feel stuck and trapped here. It's like living in some weird episode of the "Twlight Zone." The "oddball stuff" keeps happening! Even today!...I wonder how things might have turned out if we'd listened to the "urges" years ago and moved away before all the "weird stuff" started happening. Who knows?
 
Old 02-26-2012, 10:08 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,728 posts, read 9,024,418 times
Reputation: 11099
Quote:
Originally Posted by EclecticEars View Post
Then you probably wouldn't like San Francisco and the Bay Area altogether, either. While I've never been to Boston, there are a lot of Northeastern, and particularly New England, transplants out here. Some of the East Coast transplants even admit that it's an "East Coast city on the West Coast," which admittedly is why they like it. While I've never been to Boston, all the stereotypes of its people truly apply in many areas in the Bay.

It could also be that I'm from the South and some people here have a sort of anti-heartland mentality. Or, it could be that the local boosters like to strangely make themselves akin to Portland, New York, Boston, and Paris all at the same time. Okay, okay, that's an exaggeration, but it's not far off. And if you're from L.A. or S.D., you're "unenlightened." Just skim these City-Data forums!

Don't get me wrong, I like the Bay most days. There are plenty of normal, non-douchey, laid-back people here. However, I maybe be moving down to your neck of the woods--San Diego--or the Inland Empire or inland Orange County in the coming months. Honestly, I think it will be a nice change.
EclecticEars, are you going to be moving due to a job transfer? If not, I'm sorry to hear that you might be moving again. Best of luck to you.
 
Old 02-27-2012, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Central FL
1,382 posts, read 3,269,934 times
Reputation: 1181
Wow, there are some sad stories on here. I am grateful every day just to have my family, and a roof/ food. Everything else is gravy.

We are desperate to get to our "final destination" and buy a house! So desperate in fact, that we are looking at homes here in FL. However, I am getting some strong signs NOT to buy here, LOL. It has suddenly turned into a seller's market and inventory is just not there. I can't find one single house to even look at with the realtor I am in contact with.

I did find what seemed to be a really neat area, got excited, and checked the HOA documents online. Well, they have recently had cars being "jacked up" in driveways, where the wheels are removed, along with the transmission! Your car is then left on blocks in you own driveway. I mean, seriously??? Seriously??? Home invasions in my old 'hood and now this in the absolute last place you would even think - right outside of your bedroom window in your own driveway.

Moving back to FL from GA was the worst mistake for us. Major step back, career wise and financially. It's just not the same here as back in the day. My parents live down the street from people who have someone living in a storage shed! 3rd world kind of stuff (not to mention someone came on their property and rummaged through my dad's truck). I hate to leave my parents here, but they refuse to leave, and they refuse to see that the wolves are surrounding them. (not to mention it sounds like WWIII out there with all of the shooting now)

New Hampshire is looking better and better!
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