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Old 10-20-2011, 09:39 PM
Location: Aiken, South Carolina, US of A
1,762 posts, read 3,832,590 times
Reputation: 3563


Last year we moved to the last western street of civilization in Broward County. Just Google Salerno Cir Weston, FL and you'll see what I'm taking about. It's been amazing to experience the wildlife and open spaces every afternoon, watch my son catch lizards, without the whiz of a jumbo jet above our heads. Where I grew up there was more concrete than grass, so to me it's enough. I could be just as happy in a similar setting elsewhere with a place we owned, a solar panel on the roof, a fenced in yard and space for a small garden.

Well, that's your answer then.
Get a place you have just described.
I think you will see a big difference in him as a person when he doesn't have to
work as much and drive the rat race every day.
I would look at warmer states though since you are used to Florida.
Longer growing seasons also.
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Old 10-20-2011, 10:25 PM
77 posts, read 209,403 times
Reputation: 71
He envisions something that isn't real, isn't what you want, and isn't possible without your full support. And, he doesn't care about what you think or feel.

Talk to a therapist or clergyman. You need to hear your own thoughts out loud. You'll be completely dependent on him in this imaginary paradise. And when your unhappy there, which is likely, he still won't want to discuss your feelings.
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Old 10-20-2011, 10:52 PM
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,344 posts, read 23,981,696 times
Reputation: 8843
Why don't you come up the 95 corridor and look in either NC or VA. You can easily find in this economy 10+ acres for less than $100k. Just make sure its zoned A-1. Then you can nearly do anything you want with it. The best land/house deals you'll find right now are horse properties. I just purchased a horse farm sitting of over 40 acres for less than $300k. It only has two downsides. Its 45 minutes from true civilization and it requires a satellite dish for cable and internet access. But hey my Verizon cell gets three bars. I currently live on 10+ acres and through the years civilization has been moving closer. Whats great is that we are all A-1 (no HOA), none of us can remove the tree buffers and none can subdivide the property so another house could be built between us. So currently I have one neighbor that I can see his roof during the winter.
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:18 AM
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,358 posts, read 12,892,139 times
Reputation: 30794
I agree with Branson. Get out and check out the places he wants to move. My step daughter and hubby bought a place here in Kentucky, 14 acres with a 4 BR 2 bath house (1 br and bath are in the basement that could be rented out, about 10 miles from town. Got it for $140K. Hubby is in the Army and thought he'd be able to stay here (stationed at Ft. Campbell, Ky., about 20 miles from the house), but the Army decided the family needed to live in Hawaii for 3 years. They are renting the house out to some of his Army buddies for $850/ month. I was just giving you an idea of a what some things are going for. My wife and I bought a 3 BR 2 bath, on an acre, just out of town, for $72K. Find a town you want to check on and go to Find Real Estate Listings, School and Neighborhood Information and More - Realtor.com® and check listings and prices anwhere. Good luck!
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:59 AM
Location: Nebraska
4,179 posts, read 9,387,002 times
Reputation: 9551
The reason many people want to live rurally is so that they can do as they please without ordinances or nosy neighbors up their - um, bathroom window. Although the idyllic 'living close to nature' really doesn't mean picnics on the back 40 acres every day, and someone delivering your firewood - it means that nature is up close and personal, 24 hours a day.

When we were first married, DH initially agreed in principle that we were going to eventually move to a rural location and raise our own food. It wasn't until I picked out the place (1700 miles away) here in NE and put a 1/2 down payment on it that he became convinced we were moving, though. Once we did, he 'got into it'... and as always we split our duties based on who can do what. (I.e., he is pastel color blind, so he doesn't know if a plant is green or brown - so he plows and I harvest.) We also got the things that would make it easier for us to work our 60 acres with his disability - the ATV so he could haul fenceposts and rolls of barbed wire to the back acre and repair fencing, the snowplow, the plow that goes on the back of the ATV, the woodworking and metalworking tools in his shop so that he can build or fabricate anything he needs, etc. We both feed up and take care of the animals, from birth to butcher. All of this we knew we were getting into, and had experienced it on a smaller scale; not only by growing and processing our own garden and raising our own chickens, but by working on neighboring farms until we understood what was necessary. We have a 100 year-old solidly-built farmhouse with a woodstove that heats the whole thing, and chop the wood for the fire every year. We have what we think is a wonderful life - but we were both prepared for what it entailed. We mostly just enjoy what we do and where we are, free from any intrusion or ordinances.

Howeve, unless you are both prepared to work and work hard, whether it is a balmy 76 and springlike weather, or a -40 deg, 3-day blizzard, than you need to have a serious discussion about abilities and capabilities. Can you literally sit and stare at each other, 24/7, for months at a time? Can you work together from see to can't see, keeping the animals healthy and marketable (or at least edible) raising and growing and canning and harvesting enough food to keep you fed through an entire winter? Buying a farm and not having the ability and knowledge to do what needs to be done, every single day - unless you have a dependable high income afterwards - is like throwing your money into a fast-moving stream. You won't even see it go, and you'll never see it again. You need to have a serious discussion about the realities of living in the country, everything from self-sustenance to amenities to health care for you, him, your family, and your animals. Farming doesn't just magically happen while you are off fishing, hunting, or shopping in the big city. And, if you get animals, there are no more vacations - someone has to feed up, or milk, or gather the eggs, every day.

We love it, but most people not raised to it can't handle it. Which is how we ended up with this place to begin with... the previous family had dreams of country life, but the father couldn't handle all of the responsibilities that came with it, and pretty much let it go to heck in a handbasket, while bragging about his "farm".
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Old 10-21-2011, 12:56 PM
Location: Lansing, MI
2,954 posts, read 6,120,716 times
Reputation: 3253
Excellent post, SCGranny.

I have a slightly different offering on this topic. Your #1 priority is your child and schools. The beauty of many areas in places like Ohio and Michigan, the schools are fairly good. And, for a more rewarding experience, have your child actually get involved and engaged in "country" life ---- FHA, raising livestock for 4H, learning how to hunt and enjoy nature.

I grew up in a rural part of mid-MI. We didn't have cable tv available until '95. By then, my sister and I were well versed in gardening duties, how to entertain ourselves and being wrapped up in 4H projects like sewing, raising livestock, and playing outside. We didn't get bored, we didn't know what "I'm bored" even meant. I would say this lifestyle helped us grow into well rounded adults, and we are both happy and productive citizens in society.

Country life is not for everyone, and I *highly* suggest find a place with a large plot of land to rent first. Try it out, see if the hat fits. It might not, and would be a shame to invest in something that won't work.

For the states you're considering ... not all rural areas are equal. TN/KY has a completely different vibe than MI/OH, and all are worlds away from CO/WY. Cannot stress enough that you need to plan extended visits to any location to ensure this is the right location for you. Hate to say it, but some locals don't like city folk that come into the country. Especially if those city folk treat it as if "they can do anything they want" --- because that sometimes means causing rude and disruptive activities that infringe on the neighbors peace and quiet. You also need to plan on trying out the different seasons to make sure you can hack the change in weather.

Be careful if considering NC ---- high unemployment, and high demand for land as so many transplants are headed this way. For example, finding 10 acres in the Charlotte, NC area for $100,000 is impossible unless you're looking for a long commute (TRUST ME, we looked - what we could find, couldn't pass inspection for purchase without a huge down payment or major renovations), and the schools here are nothing special.
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:40 PM
Location: SW Missouri
15,847 posts, read 30,262,275 times
Reputation: 22342
Originally Posted by Torrential_Downpours View Post
Homesteading is a dream of mine, but within reason, because our son trumps every decision.
When I read this, I wasn't sure what you meant.

My opinion is that this is YOUR and YOUR HUSBAND'S life. Your son will have his own life when he is an adult. Any person who puts any aspect of their life on HOLD or allows their children to dictate the terms and conditions of their life is crazy.

Children are adaptable. They can fit in anywhere and make new friends easily. Moreover, changes in environment is GOOD for kids because it teaches them how to fit into new situations and helps them understand that change is good.

From what you have said in your few posts, I get the feeling that you feel that your husband is prone to jumping into things before thinking them through. With regard to his expensive hobbies I sense a tone of disapproval. The fact of the matter is that your husband works 50 hours a week, by your own admission, and as long as there is food on the table, a roof over your head and clothes on your back, he really should be able to buy whatever he wants without having to justify it to anyone. I can certainly understand why he wants to enjoy an early retirement in a peaceful serene setting.

Why are you fighting this so much? What are you not telling us?

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Old 10-26-2011, 07:17 PM
Location: Sunrise, FL
23 posts, read 90,335 times
Reputation: 33
Ms. Branson, may I ask if you have children? Because a parent would know better than to tell another parent they were crazy for considering their child in a decision that would affect them. This is OUR life, not just mine or my husbands now. The choices I make now will affect my son for the rest of my life, so please excuse me if I'm worried about that. My son is very adaptable, but also gregarious, and I don't see him flourishing in overly isolating setting.

My husband will never 'buy what he wanted without justification'. His mother raised him to spend money like it was going out of style, and for the better part of his adolescence and the first year of our marriage that's exactly what he did. I have worked hard to repair his credit (after bankruptcy) and save our money so we could even consider purchasing anything. I don't ever question his purchases for all of the vehicles. He does all the maintenance and services himself, even on my car.

I'm not fighting him on this, but I will not put the horse before the cart. If he wants to homestead into retirement, I say let's start today and put ourselves much closer to his job, in a home with a fenced yard to begin growing and living simply. Stay close to the communities conducive to us learning these skills.

In a few months we are pretty sure his license will be revoked for a year (or more) because of the two excessive speeding tickets he received on the motorcycle.

To shorten the commute (since it looks like I might be driving Miss Daisy), I suggested we move into a home in Cooper City or Davie. But he makes a sour face and begins to talk about all the people we know in Hollywood and how he just 'knows' we could find a single family home there. So instead of being in an area close to the ranches, parks and away from airports he wants to move farther eastward into the thick of urbanized civilization.

My second concern is saving money and having savings even after we purchase to float us if needed. We pay cheap rent (luckily) in Weston, but tack on the extra costs of gas, the private preschool our son is in, the HD cable, cellphones and etc, the savings are becoming nil. Rent prices are insanely high right now here, and buying could save us a lot. Most homes in Cooper City are on .15 acre (not much but a start), don't have HOas and you can have wooden privacy fences around your yard. Maybe even rent it out when we are ready to move up to the big leagues.

I am trying to look at this logically and take it step by step, but all he's suggesting makes no sense to me or is out of order.
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:43 PM
Location: On the sunny side of a mountain
3,181 posts, read 7,020,319 times
Reputation: 6529
I think you are looking at this very logically. It's pretty clear from your posts that your husband has a lot of growing up to do and needs to start living in reality. I would suggest some counseling, though I'm not sure your husband would go for it, but it seems that he's been able to live his life without thinking about consequences and you are cleaning up the mess.
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Old 10-26-2011, 09:14 PM
24,503 posts, read 35,324,569 times
Reputation: 12810
I think you should introduce him to Maslows Hierarchy of Needs. It clearly states that you buy a house before a piece of land you don't know how to utilize.
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