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Old 10-23-2011, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
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OK, all the sibs have split everything up but my mom had tons of just stuff. Handwritten notes, news articles, pictures, tons of pictures, just lots of stuff.

I am getting to know her more as I go through her things and a lot of this stuff goes back over 50 years.

It is so hard to know what to keep. I have a scanner but every time I start going through her stuff, it becomes so emotional for me I can't continue.

Any hints?
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:13 PM
jw2
 
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Bette, it will become easier over time. If in doubt, hang onto it for another day. I know the mindset to clean everything so you can move on but once something is tossed, it can't be reclaimed.
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:17 PM
 
Location: The Triad
34,091 posts, read 82,490,189 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Handwritten notes, news articles, pictures, tons of pictures
...it becomes so emotional for me I can't continue.
Any hints?
Don't try to do it all at once or even feel you need to.
(Re)packing with glances through it as you go might be enough for now.

Then when you have an afternoon and are inclined...
drag out a box at a time and do the review and cull.
Repeat as needed.

hth
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:25 PM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
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On a parents passing it is normal to keep some things for a while...I look at it as being a healing part of life.

When my wife died some decades ago I kept her clothes, purse, drivers license and many other things in her side of the closet and dresser drawer. Took a while but I eventually removed them...all a healing factor.

Same with my dad passing. Old Passports, drivers license, many papers I did not completly understand or knew about...turned out not very important as with a type of legal situation etc. Still have some things today...over 18 yrs and not sure why.
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:26 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,005 posts, read 63,335,877 times
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What you have is a precious glimse into the past. Just put it aside for now, and maybe your children will be glad to see it some day...or even their children.
My parents had kept a rather clear deck, so there was nothing really personal to clear out. I am the main ancestry person for both my family and my husband's and I would be so happy if I had a way to know some of these people in a more intimate way.
Just put everything in a clearly marked box and pass it to someone who will be a good steward of it.
There are some who care about such things, and some not at all. I have a lot of family dishes, for example, which I am doomed to hang onto because I care about things like imagining who ate from them and what all the conversations were while they were used. Other's just don't care, and that is all right too.
You could scan everything and put it on a disc if you don't want to keep the papers.
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Old 10-24-2011, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Canada
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So sorry for your loss. Been there, done that. It is a most difficult thing to do after you lose a loved one.

I suggest you get however many tote boxes you need to hold all the stuff, label them and put them away in storage. One day, when the pain has eased (and it will), you can sit down and go through it when you are less emotional.
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Old 10-24-2011, 08:25 AM
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Sorting it all out isn't an easy thing to do. I would go over to my parents house to start sorting, I would open one drawer and then get so emotional that I would have to quit. My advice is to take your time, it's an overwhelming process to say the least. My huband didn't really understand how I felt and kept pressing me to get things done even if it was to throw out stuff. Looking back I wish I hadn't thrown out some things that I did. So don't push yourself too hard is my best advice.
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Old 10-24-2011, 10:30 AM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,213,800 times
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Sorry for your loss, it is obvious this is very emotional for you. Since I am getting my possessions down to five boxes, it was pretty easy for me, I got rid of everything. I kept two paperwieghts. Going thru the stuff would have been too difficult, and time consuming for me, so I decided to just get rid of it all.
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Old 10-24-2011, 11:42 AM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
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Since I was getting up in yrs a while back (today am 80) decided on my own to pass out things that I thought was important so that there would be NO bickering amongst my Adult kids etc.

They all had been given something to pass on to the grandkids later on.

All the boys got a diamond solitaire ring along with one grandson since he is the last of the family tree (name)... grandaughters got gold chains with a special stone pendant.

Oldest daughter had the Antique gold earrings from my mother that has been long gone before daughters passing on.

As to my papers...destroyed most but did keep my parents 1908 and 1909 birth certificates along with my own for a picture frame. Nice thought on my part...who knows if it will happen at all.

My home here in Mexico is being left to my Great Grandson age 7 (Dual Citizenship) so there would be NO problems with any transfer of Title (ownership)

Thanx for allowing an old fogey to lament on the coming possibilities.

Steve
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Old 10-24-2011, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
6,869 posts, read 11,183,073 times
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Smile Some great ideas....

Steve - 80 is not that old today. My husband has several clients still working - they want to - doing great!!

To All - Thank you - I just felt I wasn't going fast enough. She didn't really have any jewelry; the stuff is more sentimental like her small bible when she was 8 years old and her handwritten notes within it.

She had 2 MBA's - for her day, that was a lot. She also served in the Canadian Army. She talked about how she loved her college years but not to a great extent - she was very independent for her time and I have a daughter who (I think) inherited that spirit.

My mom left her small town in Canada and went to school in Montreal and really never went back. She did her MBA (2nd) at the University of Chicago after the war.

She was a great mom!
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