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Old 11-22-2011, 02:10 PM
Location: Columbus, OH
500 posts, read 958,458 times
Reputation: 748


My boyfriend and I are completely different as far as living location. He's lived in Columbus, OH his whole life, I'm from a smaller town in OH (about 15k people).

I HATE the cold, and winters are extremely uncomfortable for me. He thinks 90 degrees all summer is good enough reason to just roll over and die, and he's horrified at the idea of no snow on Christmas Day.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the beach, and would do just about anything to live within a half hour or so's drive from one. He detests lying on the beach and finds it boring.

He likes "things to do and explore" (if you're familiar with Columbus, he loves things like the Short North Gallery Hop, Clintonville farmer's market, little hole in the wall restaurants...think quirky and walkable area). I generally like those kinds of things, too, I guess, but not if "quirky and walkable" means I can never find a place to park my car. I prefer a more country/suburban setting, but I'm good with populations up to about 500k if I have to (100k-250k would be ideal). I'd love a place where you can ride your bike around town.

I love the culture and atmosphere of Texas, and the San Antonio/Hill Country, he thinks it's entirely too hot there. I love the idea of the Pensacola, FL area, but there aren't a lot of jobs there, and the humidity is terrible. Personally, I don't care if I ever see snow again, or temperatures under about 50.

Help with a happy medium!
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Old 11-22-2011, 02:21 PM
Location: Charlotte, NC... for now
68 posts, read 195,548 times
Reputation: 131
Are you planning on getting married soon? To be honest, moving away to somewhere with your boyfriend sounds like a recipe for disaster no matter where you go, but especially if you have opposite types of places in mind.

A married couple can discuss things like this with a sense of permanence with each having a legitimate say and a vested interest in the future and in each other. But as boyfriend/girlfriend, things have the potential to come apart in an instant and there you will be, all by yourself far away from home, potentially homeless and unemployed.

If you are serious enough to move away together, I would say you should be serious enough to get married before you do it. But whatever you do, don't make this decision lightly.

All the best,
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Old 11-22-2011, 02:38 PM
5,825 posts, read 13,330,271 times
Reputation: 9303
Hopefully you are both not opposites on EVERYTHING (like money, families, etc.) If you can't compromise on where to live, I would take the relationship very slowly until you both have a clear understanding of each other's wants and needs.

More important than the climate you live in would be the availability of jobs and cost of living.
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:36 PM
Location: Southern California
3,115 posts, read 7,254,751 times
Reputation: 3672
A happy medium?

You hate the cold and he hates the heat - so find a place that has temperate weather. If he's completely adamant about snow on Christmas, then you might have to bend a little there, but maybe he would be willing to live near a mountain town, so you could drive to the snow on Christmas, but live the rest of the winter without snow?

You love the beach, but he finds it boring? Well that's not a problem at all. Go ahead and look at beach towns or towns near beaches, and he can just skip lying on them, and do other things instead. And since areas near the coast tend to be more temperate than inland areas, that works out great with your "I hate cold/he hates heat" conundrum.

He likes quirky walkable downtowns and you like a town where you can ride your bike? There are thousands of beach towns that would fit both of your needs.

You like Texas, but he thinks it's too hot, and you like Florida, but he thinks it's too hot and humid and there are no jobs - well, he's probably right on both places. So don't look so far south. Think of it this way, if you want a cool cloudy beach town, then look in Maine or Washington State. If you want a beach town where it gets hot, then look in Florida and Texas. But if you want something in between those two extremes, look in the middle!

The key to compromising on something like this is to keep a totally open mind, and slowly whittle it down, based on your most pressing needs, and your deepest desires. Don't even try to convince him to move to someplace hot - you know he would hate it! Once you whittle it down a little, based on what you both want, you'll probably find there are many places you could be happy. Just because it appears on the surface that you have opposite desires, doesn't mean that only one of you can be happy and the other has to be miserable. It's possible to meet in the middle!
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Old 11-22-2011, 05:39 PM
5,019 posts, read 12,749,860 times
Reputation: 6987
That's a tall order.

So basically, you want to surf and he wants to snow ski.

I agree that both TX and FL will be too hot for him. Also, you DO know that the TX Hill Country is a fairly long haul to the nearest coast?

There are a few "perfect" areas in the country that may give you that weather/beach combo, but cheap they are not. And jobs may be scarce.

My first thought is my hometown of San Diego, or since you want a smaller town, one of the outlying areas. Bring your checkbook and hopefully your own portable job.

You really CAN spend the morning skiing in the mountains (Big Bear) and the afternoon surfing (with a wetsuit) on the beach in this area. I've done it.

You can choose from funky little beach towns (e.g Encinitas) and drive to the snow, or choose an arsty community (e.g. Julian) in the foothills and drive to the beach.

On the East Coast the only place that really comes to mind (and I almost hate to mention it because it is sometimes over-rated) is Asheville NC. May be large and funky enough for your BF, yet small enough for you. Not 30 min from a beach, but a do-able drive.

Please note, that to live in these super-desirable locations, you need your own source of $$$. So start building that web-based business ASAP!
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:36 PM
Location: Southern California
3,115 posts, read 7,254,751 times
Reputation: 3672
I'm from San Diego too, so that's also my reference point, but there are cheaper - and less sunny - places to live, if you head up the coast into Central and Northern California. Or even into Oregon. Just make sure you don't stray too far from the coast - once you get about 30 minutes from the coast, the summers will get hot. But if you stay in that thin sliver up the coast, that's only a few miles from the beach, it's temperate all the way up.

Just as an example, Eureka California is one of my favorite places - it's in Northern California - and it has the coolest summers of just about anywhere in the United States - too cool for me - but your boyfriend might love it. Many people do! And you're close to the redwoods, and within driving distance of snow, a great funky downtown with some of the best Victorian architecture on the west coast, and the cost of living is very affordable. Might be worth looking into!
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