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Hello! I could use some advice regarding a cross-country move from Cincinnati to Los Angeles. About 3 years ago I lived in LA for 6 months through a university based program. We were pretty sheltered, had a place to live, great internships, constant activities planned, and fellow students that were immediate friends. Since graduating about two years ago the thought of going back to Los Angeles has always stuck with me. My Ohio friends have heard me talk about my desires of returning to LA since graduating. My degree is in media/video production.. so the entertainment industry was the goal.
About 2 months ago I slowly started making it a reality. A month into the process of reaching out, budgeting, networking, etc, I started to get really depressed and stressed as the days went by. It was probably about the most depressed that I’ve been. I found out that a large part of the sadness was the realization of being so distant from my family. Family is something that I heavily value. I’m an only child, live in the same city as my family, and see my parents and grandparents frequently. The thought of seeing them 2 times a year is extremely difficult. In addition, I’d be moving out by myself with no job or place to stay. I do have some connections and have enough saved up financially. The fear, over-thinking, and moving so far from my support system has made me consider to stay. Going forward the thought of moving with already having a job in place to a new city (that's not across the country) sounds better.. or easier. Cincinnati has been fine; I have a good group of friends, and have freelanced video and photography. I look to pursue photography further in the future (wherever I'm at) and am excited about that. The determination of entering the entertainment industry doesn’t feel as present as my college days. I was drawn to the city itself, the creativity of LA, weather, and the vibe that anything can happen. Some fellow people I went to college with have moved out there so it’d be nice to see them as well.
I’ve read and listened to many people talk about how to make a tough decision. Last week my friend jokingly flipped a coin and said this is where you’ll be. When the coin was in the air I was hoping it’d land for Cincinnati.
Do you think the past year of fantasizing about going to LA is my initial intuition telling me to go! ... and that I have let fear change my perception? Or do you think that now that it’s a reality I’ve gained a better sense of what’s important and what the future would look like? The thought of LA right now feels overwhelming but I’m afraid that fear has had a large part in that.
I appreciate any advice. For the past couple weeks I’ve been stressed trying to figure out my future!
About 3 years ago I lived in LA for 6 months through a university based program.
My degree is in media/video production.. so the entertainment industry was the goal.
About 2 months ago I slowly started making it a reality.
I appreciate any advice.
Do you have a job in Cincinnati?
Do you have a job OFFER in Los Angeles?
If you went to LA... are you able/willing to do something else in order to pay
the crazy high rents and other living expenses out there?
For the year or three it could take to get the sort of job you really want?
It's completely natural for your fear to kick in at this particular time....stick with your initial plan and GO. And take your fear with you. You can always go back home if things don't work out.....if you don't go, you will always wonder what you missed. Don't be afraid to go out on a limb...that is where the fruit is!
You need to go just to get that wanderlust out of your system. LA was the area everybody wanted to go to when I was in my early 20's because it seem so much like a fun place. My sister moved there when she was 20 and stayed there for about 7 years before coming back to Cincy. I lived in Northern Virginia DC area from the age of 21 to the age of 24. I like that area but there is no place like home. I am glad I lived there for a time being just for the sake just for the fact I am not consumed by wanderlust of what if. I liked NOVA DC area except for the traffic and high real estate cost but I always did miss having a family support system when I was there. Other than Indianapolis, the NOVA- DC- Maryland area is the only area I would be comfortable living in besides Cincy because I am familiar with those areas.
About 2 months ago I slowly started making it a reality. A month into the process of reaching out, budgeting, networking, etc, I started to get really depressed and stressed as the days went by. It was probably about the most depressed that I’ve been. I found out that a large part of the sadness was the realization of being so distant from my family. Family is something that I heavily value. I’m an only child, live in the same city as my family, and see my parents and grandparents frequently. The thought of seeing them 2 times a year is extremely difficult. In addition, I’d be moving out by myself with no job or place to stay. I do have some connections and have enough saved up financially. The fear, over-thinking, and moving so far from my support system has made me consider to stay. Going forward the thought of moving with already having a job in place to a new city (that's not across the country) sounds better.. or easier. Cincinnati has been fine; I have a good group of friends, and have freelanced video and photography. I look to pursue photography further in the future (wherever I'm at) and am excited about that. The determination of entering the entertainment industry doesn’t feel as present as my college days. I was drawn to the city itself, the creativity of LA, weather, and the vibe that anything can happen. Some fellow people I went to college with have moved out there so it’d be nice to see them as well.
Hi there -
My first piece of advice is to ensure you have a job hammered out - sometimes companies will assist with re-location expenses. As people have said, living in Cali is expensive. I'm from South FL and it's expensive here too but with Cali being even more so, I'd definitely make sure you had a job that could support your bills out there before any solid decision on a move is made.
Now - onto the harder part - leaving family...
I can relate to this struggle as I am in the same boat! It's a VERY difficult decision and one that I have been battling for about 2 years myself. I have an opportunity to move out to AZ. I LOVE it out there much like you seem to love LA. It's hard wanting to try something new for yourself when you're worried it will take time away from the family you love dearly. I guess I'm trying to look at it this way -- regrets are parts of life... you will either regret leaving your family or regret never giving this a shot. I've spoken with friends of mine who have made the leap to move away from family and, albeit difficult, they have all said the same thing.... they grew up in ways they didn't know they needed to. What's funny is, we're all about 30 years old... you would THINK you have done PLENTY of growing. But - after talking to them - it seems there a sort of growth that you go thru being separated from family and REALLY having to live on your own. While it will be sad to miss out on family events (tear-jerker moment) it doesn't have to be a permanent arrangement. IF you decide to move to LA and find yourself completely unable to adjust, homesick beyond belief and regretting the decision daily... you can always start planning to move back.
But, let's say you do it and you love it - then it's just about making time to call and talk with them, skype them, plan trips back home and trips for them to come visit you, get out and enjoy what your new environment has to offer...make new friends...set aside a "travel fund" so you always have money available for when you feel homesick and just need to get home!
Life is short and I guess it's kind of an expectation for parents that their kids may one day leave the nest - not because they don't like living near them or dislike their hometown...but merely because there's a whole world out there with different things to do and opportunities knocking. I felt guilty for a long time, and sometimes I still do, but I cannot let my feelings of guilt or FEAR drive me away from something that excites me.
It sounds like you're giving this real thought...not just flying by the seat of your pants and making a rash decision...FEAR is a dream killer...do you want to look back 10 years from now and know you always stayed put? Or do you want to look back 10 years from now and say you tried something new?
It's SUPER difficult to deal with the "unknown" but nothing is forever and it sounds as though your family would be very supportive regardless of the road you choose.
... Last week my friend jokingly flipped a coin and said this is where you’ll be. When the coin was in the air I was hoping it’d land for Cincinnati.
Do you think the past year of fantasizing about going to LA is my initial intuition telling me to go![?]
First of all, you should avoid magical things like flipping coins, or thinking that fantasizing is showing some kind of hidden voice or fate from within. You need to stick with reality and facts, and not let other things cloud your decision-making.
LA might make a lot of sense for your career, and you do have some past experience that is telling and useful. But if you are close to your family, they are very important to you, and have concerns about moving away, the distance might be too much. That really is a huge distance. You'll have to fly back and forth, so the costs can add up over time. And you have to pick and choose when you go, and might miss gatherings and events that you'd really like to be there for. If an emergency comes up - on either side - that can also make life difficult.
Is there another option, where you could work in an optimal location without being too far away? Can you pick another location within a circle, say 100 miles in diameter? That might give you a new home in a different area, but also not put you so far away.
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