Do you reach a point where nowhere is home anymore? (jobs, moved back)

[westwind15]

It seems that I am at a point in life where this has happened. So many people have passed on (both parents, my sister, a childhood friend, etc), or moved away, or scattered all over the world, that nowhere feels like home anymore. Its just another city, no matter where I live. Every city I have lived in has some really fun and very interesting things in it, and I do make friends - but it's not "home".

Anyone else feel this way?

[Va-Cat]

Originally Posted by westwind15

It seems that I am at a point in life where this has happened. So many people have passed on (both parents, my sister, a childhood friend, etc), or moved away, or scattered all over the world, that nowhere feels like home anymore. Its just another city, no matter where I live. Every city I have lived in has some really fun and very interesting things in it, and I do make friends - but it's not "home".

Anyone else feel this way?

Its all in what you make it. Everywhere we live is "home" because we work to make it that way. I know - thats a very simple sentence when its actually a very difficult concept to acheive.

Its sounds like you are more depressed than nostalgic. You might want to talk to someone about that. Its hard to let go after a lot of losses. Its more important though to look more forward - than backward, (i.e. where you are going and what you will do rather than where you have been and what you have done.) Its especially true if you move around a lot (like we have) & your roots in any place are shallow instead of deep. Again - if it gets to be too consuming - go speak with someone about it.

[SOROKC]

I moved back to my hometown and oh man has it changed! I felt that way for the first month. In my case, my family is alive but lots of my former friends have moved away, got arrested, got into drugs, got pregnant, married, divorced, or a combination of the above.

Your home is what you make of it. I cut off contact with my old friends who don't lead a good lifestyle through personal choices, and I made lots of new friends.

I'm moving to a city where I have no friends or family. I look at it as a new adventure with endless possibilities.

[MaggieZ]

yeah, I feel that way..like an uprooted tree...I talked to someone from Bosnia who was living in Florida because of the war and she told me about feeling that way years ago and I wondered then what that was about but since then, I've moved back here to Europe and feel like I belong neither here nor there. Plus things change and you return to a place that's not how you left it. All you can do is accept it and make the best of it and not try to figure it out so much, such is life...and you can't undo it.

[tiluha]

Originally Posted by westwind15

It seems that I am at a point in life where this has happened. So many people have passed on (both parents, my sister, a childhood friend, etc), or moved away, or scattered all over the world, that nowhere feels like home anymore. Its just another city, no matter where I live. Every city I have lived in has some really fun and very interesting things in it, and I do make friends - but it's not "home".

Anyone else feel this way?

I definitely can relate to your post! I moved away from "home" many years ago, moved back a couple of times, but it wasn't the same. It didn't feel like "Home" any longer (not sure it ever did and that's why I left in the first place). I don't have the desire to return to the place where the majority of my family is and where I was born and raised.

I've lived in many places and never felt "at home" and feel this way in my current location. So, now I'm at the point where I would like to leave, but don't have a clue where I would like to go, so I peruse CD in the hopes I will find "the place"...Tennessee was looking like the place, but now I'm not so sure...

I'm sending good thoughts to all who feel this way in finding a place to call "Home"...

Oh I know people will say "Home Is Where The Heart Is" ...

I guess I just haven't found my place, my home, my heart

[SamiTravels]

Tiluha,
I can totally relate "I guess I just haven't found my place, my home, my hear..." I'm planning a move to S. Florida since my last visit was so enjoyable. I hope I'll make plenty more friends in Florida.

[fallingwater]

I can so relate to this thread! We moved away from our hometown a while back and I was glad to leave however I had this gut feeling I wasn't going to like where we moved to. I didnt pick it, more or less it picked us due to a job opportunity. We moved right before winter so I chalked it up as pre winter blues but the longer we are here the less I feel comfortable. It is no longer winters blues when it lasts all year. I just never had such a hard time achieving small things. Starting bank accounts, dealing with businesses in the area, trying to buy a house, finding the right doctor, dealing with the legal system, trying to make friends, trying to find a job..... Everything just seems like so much work here. Heck, even joining the library was a hassle!

Our hometown has changed so much since we left. I didnt expect it to stay the same but the economy really took a toll. Businesses that I grew up with are now gone. My husband's former employer cut everyone to part-time with no insurance, so we dodge a bullet there. So many foreclosures, huge spikes in crime. I feel like a stranger when I go home to visit. It so vastly different now. I get lonely and want to be around my family again. I go home to visit, they get on my last nerve after one day and then I think I'm glad I left. We can't go back. I don't want to stay here forever. So now what?

[LaFemme86]

I can relate. I've moved house more times than years I've been alive and have lived in 6 countries across 4 continents. I actually have come to accept it though. I enjoy each place I move to being my home. When I say I can't wait to go home, I think of the place where I currently live at the moment where I live happily with my husband and cats. I see it as a positive, as so many place I've lived, I always hear people saying they're homesick or they refer to a trip to visit the town they were raised in as a "trip home". Sometimes people will say "when are you visiting home", I always respond "I am home!".

Try to find solace in something else-- for me, as long as I am with my family (husband and cats currently), I am home. The geographical location is a non-issue.

ETA: I haven't always felt like this. Years ago I came across a PostSecret that said "I'm scared I'll never find a place that feels like home" or something along those lines. It was a huge fear for me. Then, I slowly realized that it doesn't matter; I've experienced so much, and I have my stable point (family). It wasn't easy though and I certainly had my share of talking to people to get to this stage. Hang in there!

[SCGranny]

I lived in a place for 20 years, and it never felt like home. No matter what I did, how many friends I had, how many and different jobs I worked, I always felt like I was waiting... I did what I wanted to do, and was a success, and was involved, and was busy and productive... but...

I knew what I wanted and that wasn't it. I made the best of it, but I wanted more.

For 3 years I went online, looking at places I could (and couldn't) afford, asking questions, reading, looking for what I wanted.

When I walked into this 100 year old house and went out onto the verandah, I knew I had found my home. 1700 miles from family and friends, yet this place spoke to me like no other before - or since. I have painted and refurbished and built up, and still am doing so - but every minute here is bliss. I sleep better, I live better, and I am much happier than I have ever been.

Know what you want, know what it will take to get it, plan for it, work toward it, and let your heart speak. I am - home.

[Ticatica]

Originally Posted by SCGranny

I lived in a place for 20 years, and it never felt like home. No matter what I did, how many friends I had, how many and different jobs I worked, I always felt like I was waiting... I did what I wanted to do, and was a success, and was involved, and was busy and productive... but...

I knew what I wanted and that wasn't it. I made the best of it, but I wanted more.

For 3 years I went online, looking at places I could (and couldn't) afford, asking questions, reading, looking for what I wanted.

When I walked into this 100 year old house and went out onto the verandah, I knew I had found my home. 1700 miles from family and friends, yet this place spoke to me like no other before - or since. I have painted and refurbished and built up, and still am doing so - but every minute here is bliss. I sleep better, I live better, and I am much happier than I have ever been.

Know what you want, know what it will take to get it, plan for it, work toward it, and let your heart speak. I am - home.

That was so beautiful. I felt the same way when I went to Nevada. I lived in Vegas and Reno and I can't explain it but it just spoke to me. I'm a beach person and they're lucky if they get a drop of rain but I just love it and the people. I can't wait to get back out west.