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Old 02-02-2012, 03:16 PM
 
45 posts, read 74,792 times
Reputation: 20

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I've been lurking for a while and decided to post my current situation (probably pretty common). My wife and I currently live in MA, in the same city as my most of my wife's family (most of whom she is close to, and the same city she was born and raised in). However, our financial situation is not great; we are a family of 5 (3 kids ages 6-9) and our house is way too small for a family of that size (about 1600 sq ft total, and we feel like we are on top of each other, our twin daughters must share a room). The house is also about $120k upside down with our mortgage (and a house value that is still declining), with a huge mortgage that we can barely afford, not too mention in a city whose school system is declining rapidly.

I will be promoted in a few months and as part of that I will receive a fairly large raise. My job is such that the promotion I receive will still apply whether I stay in MA or relocate elsewhere, so from a pure money situation that will improve. However, the house issue will still remain. We are contemplating walking away from the house altogether (it was part of a CH 7 bankruptcy 4 years ago so we can walk away at any time with no repercussion) and renting a house for a few years and then eventually purchasing a house down the road. Unfortunately rent is way too high in MA and very few rentals available

So we are contemplating on relocating to TN. My thought is that we can take the promotion and move to TN where we can rent a bigger house then what we have now for less then what our mortgage is today, plus finally rid ourselves of a declining asset and put our kids in a much better school system (and save more money overall).

The issue though is that my wife is reluctant is to leave her family, which I can understand. She is concerned about not having a job (she works part-time today) and essentially being by herself down there, especially when the kids are in school all day

I certainly understand her concerns, but the financial benefits would be huge for us.

Am I off my rocker with this thought process? Is there anything I am missing?

Thanks!
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:44 PM
 
Location: On the sunny side of a mountain
3,183 posts, read 7,037,431 times
Reputation: 6570
First is there a reason why Tennessee is your choice for relocation.

Secondly and most importantly, if your wife is not 100% on board it will not end well no matter how much you want it to work.
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Old 02-03-2012, 03:24 AM
 
45 posts, read 74,792 times
Reputation: 20
TN primarily because that is one of the places my promotion could take me, plus we both have been down there in the past (on business trips) and absolutely love the area

I know if she isn't 100% on board it won't work, but I am more wondering if my line of thinking makes sense
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Old 02-03-2012, 04:18 AM
 
Location: Newport, NC
956 posts, read 3,584,382 times
Reputation: 703
[quote=seanf12;22820781] The issue though is that my wife is reluctant is to leave her family, which I can understand. She is concerned about not having a job (she works part-time today) and essentially being by herself down there, especially when the kids are in school all day

I certainly understand her concerns, but the financial benefits would be huge for us.

Am I off my rocker with this thought process? Is there anything I am missing?

Maybe you can make a deal. Agree that you will relocate for a certain time period, then when you can, agree to move back closer to family?
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:06 PM
Status: "busy" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: under the beautiful Carolina blue
16,751 posts, read 25,766,660 times
Reputation: 12667
If your wife won't be working, and you have a 3 year old, there are plenty of ways to fill a day. Moms groups are everywhere these days. She will have time to volunteer at the older child(ren)'s school (not sure which age is the twins!). She will probably be able to pick up some type of part time work when she's ready.

But again, while your plan is sound, you both really need to be on board.
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:47 PM
 
701 posts, read 1,528,389 times
Reputation: 792
I suspect there are part-time jobs in TN. Not to worry.

Moving 20 hours away from family, now that's something else. Phone calls and traveling back for the holidays just isn't the same as hanging out with your sisters on a Sunday afternoon while the guys watch football, or a row of grandparents, aunts, and uncles at the kids' soccer games/recitals, etc. Nothing quite like family when you are raising kids.

On the other hand, chucking a house you're in the hole on and having a grand family adventure, now that might be worth considering. Since you plan to rent, you can always return to MA if you find that's where you really want to live. By then, if you play your cards right, you could have saved up enough for a down payment on a larger house. With any luck at all, home prices will continue to decline while you are off on your grand adventure.

Good luck.
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