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Old 03-04-2012, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,968,538 times
Reputation: 18405

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It sounds more to me like they aren't as happy as they claim to be, and are probably suffering from some form of lonliness out there. The thought of friends moving closer must have lifted their spirits. It's common for people who move away from one place to try to talk other friends and family into moving there once they become homesick or lonely.

If they are willing to terminate a friendship over this, then they weren't really true friends to begin with. They were doing all this research just as much for their benefit as yours.

My one suggestion to you would be no matter where you and your boyfriend decide to move, make sure you have jobs lined up before you get there.
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Old 03-04-2012, 08:06 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, NY born & raised!
2,593 posts, read 3,869,595 times
Reputation: 3509
For the record like I said, I wasn't ready to move at that time, mainly because our relationship was new. I had no intentions of moving until this summer. We were only looking at places to get an idea. This is why I wasn't comfortable with their "just pick up and move here now" idea, because of how early we were into the relationship. I should also note the realtor was their idea, they asked her to come out. I told them it wasn't necessary since we were not moving anytime soon. If we were still together at the point where we were ready to move, then we would move together. Otherwise I would have been moving on my own.

It started because we stated we wanted to move out of NYC and they called right away saying "yeah, come move out here, forget all the other places".

I want to keep my options open, visit a few places and then make a judgment call. Then look for jobs, and then move once I land a job. I want to do things the right way.

One of the friends from PA has already deleted me on Facebook. I'm pretty shocked it has come to this. But my theory is if where I move is going to kill a 13 year friendship, then I guess we were never really friends in the first place.
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Old 03-04-2012, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,179 posts, read 9,390,040 times
Reputation: 9552
Wow.

I'm with Jasper12; I've known people who have moved somewhere and become absolutely insistent that everyone else should move there too. I feel sorry for them; you'd think they'd find new friends and be able to build their own lives without dragging their old friends with them.

When we moved here 4 years ago, we told our friends that they were always welcome here - but most of them wouldn't fit in here. Some wouldn't like the snowstorms, others wouldn't like the lack of amenities, still others wouldn't like the very different attitudes here. If they wanted help looking around, I would even hesitate to offer that; everyone has different ideas of their "perfect place" - and most of my friends couldn't find jobs here. Even my own children like visiting but don't want to move here - which is fine with us, let them live their own lives while we live ours.

If your "friend" deleted you on Facebook because you told her you were looking around, then, no, she wasn't a friend at all, and you are better off without drama queens and control freaks in your life.
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Old 03-31-2012, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, NY born & raised!
2,593 posts, read 3,869,595 times
Reputation: 3509
Update:

These guys were friends with my BF on Facebook also. Only one of them did not delete us. I personally think he only kept us as friends to start drama. He wouldn't comment on anything unless it was something he could start issues with (at least I noticed this with his comments to other people).

So the BF posted a picture that said "You're unfriending me? Don't forget to hit the go f*^% yourself button on the way out" to my wall. He sees it and starts giving my BF grief calling him 2 faced and asking if it was about his wife and their friend deleting us. He said no. It then erupted into another drama filled argument, and I also caught their friend calling me an ungrateful b&^%.

We handled it calmly and rationally while they resorted to name calling like children. They still claimed the entire argument had nothing to do with us not wanting to move there. (Then why did they get into such an uproar about it?)

Needless to say, we had enough and deleted him and cut all ties. The BF is now looking into DC and I am looking into Dallas. We don't even want to think about PA after this mess.
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Old 04-01-2012, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,022 posts, read 18,879,998 times
Reputation: 24014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss J 74 View Post
Thanks all.

Yes it is close by, it was Lehigh Valley. Maybe because it was winter, but I found it depressing. I prefer a warmer, sunnier climate as does my partner. It just seemed like because they moved there and are happy they presume we will be too, but everyone is different.
Misery loves company. Perhaps that's why they are upset you are not making the same decision they did.

Those aren't friends.
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