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Old 04-26-2012, 01:20 PM
 
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I've never been homeless or even really close... but I imagine that once you slip that far down it bcomes even harder to get it together. Can't geta job because you don't have a "real" address, can't get a car because yo don't have a job - can't get a job because of transportation issues. Can't get an apt because you don't have a job, etc...
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,823 posts, read 6,346,018 times
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Being homeless is a spin into a vicious circle and I understand why so many remain homeless and start doing drugs or drinking and get themselves further in the pit of dispair. Being homeless does something to a person that no other thing can. Just saying go do this or that to get yourself off the street, is not enough, you have to learn to deal with so many things.
I remember a guy in Antwerp who helped some kids out and he ended up in the news over it and people flocked to help him off the street, he couldn't deal with it and ended back on the street where he feels free and not locked up by all the rules and laws you have to follow...
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,566,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakeneko View Post
I've never been homeless or even really close... but I imagine that once you slip that far down it bcomes even harder to get it together. Can't geta job because you don't have a "real" address, can't get a car because yo don't have a job - can't get a job because of transportation issues. Can't get an apt because you don't have a job, etc...
I have been very close; not knowing where the next month's rent would come from close. It is not a good situation.
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,469,879 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieZ View Post
Being homeless is a spin into a vicious circle and I understand why so many remain homeless and start doing drugs or drinking and get themselves further in the pit of dispair. Being homeless does something to a person that no other thing can. Just saying go do this or that to get yourself off the street, is not enough, you have to learn to deal with so many things.
I remember a guy in Antwerp who helped some kids out and he ended up in the news over it and people flocked to help him off the street, he couldn't deal with it and ended back on the street where he feels free and not locked up by all the rules and laws you have to follow...
I knew people like that. They had a lifestyle. They knew it wasn't easy and they were looked down upon but it gave them what they wanted. Interstingly enough one study showed about six months is the dividing line. Most who go homeless find something, even a permenant couch or motel, in six months. And are willing to jump through hoopes to get out. Those who don't tend to be long term. The lifestyle works. Some of those I met were quite happy, didn't drink or do drugs. They just followed the circut. They are probably still out there almost ten years later. When you get used to things, the bad parts don't seem so bad.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
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That's right nightbird, and I too have thought about just calling it quits when things got so tough that I coudn't stand the stress of trying to make ends meet any longer..I'd think the sleeping outside would be scariest part because you have soupkitchens and places with toilets, like libaries and hospitals and so on and stores to wander into to pass the time...if you sit and hold a cup you may get money to get a hotelroom once a week to shower in peace and sleep properly. No one can take anything from you, such as your apartment or electricity or water if you don't pay. I can see the sense of freedom it could provide.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,596 posts, read 13,083,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakeneko View Post
I've never been homeless or even really close... but I imagine that once you slip that far down it bcomes even harder to get it together. Can't geta job because you don't have a "real" address, can't get a car because yo don't have a job - can't get a job because of transportation issues. Can't get an apt because you don't have a job, etc...
It does become harder to get it together. The feeling you "cant fall from the floor" kicks in. Plus, As Nightbird stated very well you always worry about winding up back in a bad situation, And lose that feeling of things being permanent once the person (hopefully) gets their life back. There is loss of sense of identity as well for extreme cases as family heirlooms and sentimental effects are usually lost or stolen, Leaving a true feeling of having one's life taken away in all it's aspects. The issue of people winding up without a home is more common then I believe we know.

This is not to say it's the stereotypical "person loses employment, Has substance abuse issues and falls down." Many variations. An abusive home, Rising rents despite one having work, Poor credit due to the latter or even a fire or natural disaster. Some find refuge in their vehicle, Or couch surf. At the very least, it's safer then being outdoors or even some of the shelters. Which can be rife with violence, Unsanitary etc. I. Personally know a few people who wound up without a place to call home. All have good jobs today, Some have families. Not now, or even then I doubt did they appear to be homeless. hence the "invisible" title I mentioned early in this thread. They soldiered on, Keeping an appearance and trying to hold it together under daunting circumstances. So did many of you. You are survivors, Maybe damaged by the experience but nonetheless got through the fires.

I feel very strongly about this issue, Due to my experience which was probably benign in comparison to some others. I have rambled a bit here so apologies if this was long winded. being in CD since 06 I think this is THE most i have ever written on a thread, Easy.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:53 PM
 
7,496 posts, read 9,714,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
I think you're getting this turned around. It was started by a 20-year old who would rather be homeless than stay with thier parents, then several others chimed in that they, too, would rather be homeless than live with parents. Well, no one is forcing them to live with the parents! The OP acted like it was a choice, and they could sit in judgment on their parents' lifestyle while sitting in the parent's home

I would never allow my children to be homeless unless I was, too. But, beggars can't be choosers---they have to take what I have to offer. BTW, the day I graduated college I was stricken with RA--rheumatoid arthritis. My parents assumed I would come home. I probably would have died if not for them---no exagerration. Some things I didn't care for, like the lack of independence and privacy. However, I would never whine that I was living with the "rents" when my only other alternative would be homelessness. What an insult to the "'rents" of the world!
While I certainly agree with you to an extent, the fact remains that these "'rents" only did half the job if they didn't do what they could to teach their kids how to survive independently in the world. I'm not saying there aren't kids who will go the wrong way nevertheless, I'm just saying, this situation is actually pretty common. Enabling kids and sheltering kids does them no good in the long run.
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Old 04-26-2012, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,469,879 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post
It does become harder to get it together. The feeling you "cant fall from the floor" kicks in. Plus, As Nightbird stated very well you always worry about winding up back in a bad situation, And lose that feeling of things being permanent once the person (hopefully) gets their life back. There is loss of sense of identity as well for extreme cases as family heirlooms and sentimental effects are usually lost or stolen, Leaving a true feeling of having one's life taken away in all it's aspects. The issue of people winding up without a home is more common then I believe we know.

This is not to say it's the stereotypical "person loses employment, Has substance abuse issues and falls down." Many variations. An abusive home, Rising rents despite one having work, Poor credit due to the latter or even a fire or natural disaster. Some find refuge in their vehicle, Or couch surf. At the very least, it's safer then being outdoors or even some of the shelters. Which can be rife with violence, Unsanitary etc. I. Personally know a few people who wound up without a place to call home. All have good jobs today, Some have families. Not now, or even then I doubt did they appear to be homeless. hence the "invisible" title I mentioned early in this thread. They soldiered on, Keeping an appearance and trying to hold it together under daunting circumstances. So did many of you. You are survivors, Maybe damaged by the experience but nonetheless got through the fires.

I feel very strongly about this issue, Due to my experience which was probably benign in comparison to some others. I have rambled a bit here so apologies if this was long winded. being in CD since 06 I think this is THE most i have ever written on a thread, Easy.
Thank you. Many think the only homeless are those who look the part. But a good many you can't tell. The shelter I was at required a shower each night and clean clothes. If you needed them you got 25 dollars a week script for clothes or other needs at a nearby thriftshop. I still have the bathrobe I got there, just hit the shelf or I'd not have, even if its falling apart now. Many had jobs too. Some could not apply for 'resident' status because they couldn't put in the volunteer time at the sheter due to work. One woman got a job at night. She asked if she could sleep during the day and they said no, rules... so she left and slept in her car. If you took medication of any kind, for any reason, you knew you could forgot about it before you wasted your time.

Yes, we're still going forward, just like always. My house is currently a mess and stuff needs to be finished, and it occured to me that a big part of it is that there is no 'tomorrow when its done' to me anymore.

With the op, I wouldn't want someone barely into life to lose that sense that you could dream of something better and believe in it. A place to sleep and call yours, even if its just your room or bed is a connection to tomorrow and once you lose that you never really get it back.

I uploaded something I wrote about being homeless, a slice of 24 hours which repeated endlessly, as my first blog today. Enjoy.
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Old 04-27-2012, 05:59 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,930 posts, read 6,463,695 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eevee View Post
I did and would do it again in a heartbeat despite the issues I had being homeless. Home wasn't really fun for me
I can relate.

My advice to anyone in this situation is to first get any job that you can get and search craigslist for the cheapest possible place to live. You will likely get someone to rent you a small, affordable room.
I actually did that many, many years ago. But back in those days the ads for rooms were in the daily newspaper.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:04 AM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,343 posts, read 7,792,879 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito View Post
While I certainly agree with you to an extent, the fact remains that these "'rents" only did half the job if they didn't do what they could to teach their kids how to survive independently in the world. I'm not saying there aren't kids who will go the wrong way nevertheless, I'm just saying, this situation is actually pretty common. Enabling kids and sheltering kids does them no good in the long run.
I feel sad for you that you feel this way. You seem to be making a judgment based on nothing real.

My parents didn't do "half the job." But a marriage that ended with children involved and a job loss at the same time, (which meant a home loss as well because part of the remuneration for the job was a place to live.) I don't care if your parents took you to classes on how to survive independently. Sometimes, it's a situation over which you have no control that leads to needing interim help. It was for me. I survived living with family for a year and was able to get a job, move out, and continued to improve my life.

I went on to marry again, have more children, attain a good-paying managerial position, own my own home, and live a productive life.

Let's say my children, all of whom are married and employed, should move to a place where natural disasters are common. Along comes a tornado, or a hurricane, or a flood. Their home is unliveable, if it even still exists. Should I tell them, "I raised you to be self-sufficient so I'm not letting you live with me."?

Unseen misfortunes happen every day. It's pretty short-sighted to think that there is no legitimate reason to enable and shelter your kids. Giving them a place to stay is "enabling" them to restart their engines and "sheltering" them is seeing to it that further disasters don't complicate the recovery.

I think if you took a poll you'd find that the ones who would rather be homeless than live with their parents are, for the most part, young and resentful of rules and restraints.
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