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Old 07-07-2012, 08:30 AM
 
6 posts, read 77,556 times
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Hey everyone. I made an account just to ask this question (lol).
As of right now I live in Toledo. I hate Toledo and everything about this godforsaken city. I can honestly say there's nothing keeping me here. My family hates me, I have no close friends or relatives other than my parents. I feel as though if I stay in Toledo, hell, Ohio in general I'm going to be working at target sitting in my parents basement smoking weed for the rest of my life.

I'm 19, I graduated high school last year but never went to college. My marks were poop so I didn't take the time to apply anywhere and just focused on working. I'm bored with working now, I'm bored with everything here because everything is just so routine. I really want to move away and goto community college, get a part time job and a small apartment and work my way up from there but I know it's easier said then done. As much as it'd be nice to have a family member that I could stay with that lived in another state...I don't. Pretty much all of my family lives around Ohio and as I said I'm not close with really anyone but my parents. I have some aunts that live in Detroit, but for obvious reasons that's not the route I'm trying to take. I have an older cousin in Florida that I clicked with really well but we've only met once. We've kept in touch via facebook & texts, but I highly doubt shed let me room with her. Also Florida's marijuana laws a little too strict for my liking. Other than that, I have no one so I'd be doing this move completely...alone.

I just want some advice on taking the first step? The first step to leaving. I don't have much money but I do have a job so I can begin to save. How much should I save? I was thinking 10 grand would be a good start, if I found a roommate and what not. My goal for saving was 15, once I hit 15 grand I planned on leaving regardless. Also what would be a good city to move to for someone as new to the real world as myself? Nothing fancy or expensive like LA because clearly I cant afford that. Somewhere with an affordable cost of living that's relatively safe. I've never been anywhere outside of Ohio besides Detroit and Maryland and neither of those I have any interest in. I've always been fascinated with NYC but that's more than likely out of my price range too. Me and my friend made this plan in like 10th grade to move to Toronto together. We're not as close anymore or anything I havent really talked to him since high school but Toronto would be perfect I think however isnt there a whole immigration process I would have to go through? And changing currency and just...idk it sounds so difficult. So I'm asking from you guys opinions if you where in my situation, where would you start looking? Also do you think it's going to be harder to enroll in school? As I said before I plan on going to a community college but being that I'm from out of state would it make it harder for me to goto school? My parents are on board with helping to pay tuition so fortunately that won't be a major issue. I was thinking of using craigslist to find a place wherever I decide to migrate to, is this a good idea? I just want the basics, maybe a step by step guide or something to leaving the nest. I know google is my friend but I'd really like some advice from someone in a more personal manner, ya know?

Sorry for the long life story I just thought it'd be better to give a little background info, to help understand my situation (if you care lol) so thanks in advance
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:13 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,487 posts, read 62,101,894 times
Reputation: 32148
Quote:
Originally Posted by daisylea View Post
As of right now I live in Toledo. I hate Toledo and everything about this godforsaken city.
I just want some advice on taking the first step? The first step to leaving.
The first step in leaving is having a place to go *to*.
Never run *from*something ... always go to something.

And don't leave Ohio. Get out of Toledo? Sure... but stay in Ohio.
Get enrolled in a community college somewhere and learn something.
When you have an actually useful skill THEN see what your options are.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Asheville
1,162 posts, read 3,694,576 times
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Others will have more to say, but I will make a couple points about the education part and a little on the moving part. Even tho you are about to explode over living in Ohio, I would balance that with the lower cost of tuition if you stay in-state. Do the community college thing in a diff city in Ohio, pick a city entirely different than your home town, it'll be a lot like going to another state. If you decide to transfer to a four-year, IF you know what your major will be, like something that a fab school in another state would suit you particularly well, then you can go out-of-state as long as your folks are still willing to pay. But really and truly, you should get both A.A. and B.A. (or S.) in your state becuz of cost. THEN you can make a move to a place anywhere in the country you'd like to live and can afford.

One more thing, I'm old-school, but to find a place to live, the chosen city's newspaper is your best resource, not Craigslist. At some point before you move, you need to visit the city you're going to go to, in order to personally see the apts that are available for rent, including any "roommate needed" situation. If you're going to go to school, get a rental company perhaps to take you to a number of "college rentals," where mostly college kids stay or parts of town near the school. Plan to stay at a Super 8 Motel or anything cheap for at least two days, to give yourself enough time to see enough places to be able to choose.

Also, if you pick a school to attend, to me the best choice, while community college is fine, is to attend a state university, they have several ones in each state, in diff locations, they will have all the tech college courses too, and that way you can take advantage of cheap dorm living for a while, AND since your folks are going to pay tuition, dorm costs can maybe go with it, so you won't have to work whilst in school, at least not for a rental. Lastly, if you do go to school, one sure-fire way of keeping your grades up is: When classes are over for the day, go straight to the library and do all your homework, and THEN do you what you want. Also, get a cafeteria card, so you will always be able to eat, and that too can be included with college costs, if that's what your parents intend.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:29 AM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,489,321 times
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If you are serious about this....then I suggest that you start saving the money that you spend for pot.
You will need a clear head to make good grades in college, if you decide to go that route.

AND....if you think your parents hate you, then think about this...they may hate the fact that you goofed off through high school and that you smoke pot. Does that mean that they hate YOU or how you choose to behave?

I agree with the others. Stay close to home until you establish your college route. Out-of-state means more money for the same education.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:48 AM
 
6 posts, read 77,556 times
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Thanks both of you for your input!! MrRational you make an excellent point if I leave with nothing I'm going to end up with nothing, however my main goal is to GET OUT OF OHIO completely lol. Albeit probably not forever, but I've definitely come to the conclusion that I need to get away. It also made me realize how naive I sounded, saying I want a part time job and a small apartment. I guess it'd be pretty hard paying rent with a part time job? Or maybe it's just me making an assumption but when I think of part time I don't really think $$big bucks$$ lol. This is obviously going to be more difficult then I thought...

Anyhow thanks both of you both provide excellent points on the education thing. I thought of doing community college and then transferring somewhere further but that would take at least two years, I'm trying to get out ASAP. And believe me I 100% agree that state university would be the best choice. If I could I would now. Makes me wholeheartedly regret all the slacking I did in high school because I could be out of here by now. But that's on me, karma sucks. I'm not exactly sure if my parents plan on paying my entire tuition, but they had a college fund setup for me when I was younger and they take education pretty serious so if they wont pay all of it itll be most. They just want to see me go further in life than target. Whatever they don't cover, I could apply for financial aid right? Would financial aid be more difficult to achieve if I'm from out of state?
I don't have a timeframe on when I want to leave due to my obvious lack of resources but I would like to be out of at LEAST Toledo before I'm 21. My birthday is in December, is that too little time?
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,487 posts, read 62,101,894 times
Reputation: 32148
Quote:
Originally Posted by daisylea View Post
...but that would take at least two years...
Yeah it would.
Two years seems like a long time when you're 19. That'll pass.

Do the two years in Cinncinnati or Columbus or Cleveland...
get qualified to go to one of the state colleges to do the next two years as well.
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:02 AM
 
404 posts, read 737,677 times
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I'm sorry but I disagree completely with everyone saying stay in Ohio, especially if his parents are paying tuition. I moved here to Breckenridge from Massachusetts when i was 19 and I have loved every bit of it. If you're gonna move, you might as well go somewhere interesting. For me the choose was easy as I love to snowboard, but try to find something you love to do and move to a place where you can do that more easily

Sent from my AT&T Samsung Galaxy Note
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:05 AM
 
6 posts, read 77,556 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2 View Post
If you are serious about this....then I suggest that you start saving the money that you spend for pot.
You will need a clear head to make good grades in college, if you decide to go that route.

AND....if you think your parents hate you, then think about this...they may hate the fact that you goofed off through high school and that you smoke pot. Does that mean that they hate YOU or how you choose to behave?

I agree with the others. Stay close to home until you establish your college route. Out-of-state means more money for the same education.
I always budget my money for pot. Thats one thing I did learn from my parents, how to save money I guess I can say I agree with you saying that my parents might hate my behavior, and not myself. But I do feel as though they resent me. My mom asked a few months ago if I felt she failed me. This broke my heart. In a way they enable me and always have enabled me to do the things I do. I was an only child so growing up, I was spoiled. I never had to work for anything. I didn't even get my first job until this year, and that was handed to me on a silver platter as well. I'm not blaming my parents AT ALL for how I turned out but it's hard to want to work for something when it's being handed to you anyway, and I've lived like that all my life. I want to get away & get used to earning things for myself. My parents arent going to be pampering me for the rest of my life and I want to show them I CAN do something on my own and make something of myself without their help. I don't feel like I can do this living under their roof because theres always that 'easy way out' option. And quite frankly it's depressing looking at my parents knowing they feel as though they failed me and living here is a constant reminder of that.

You guys responses have me really considering just moving out of Toledo, and staying in Ohio for the time being but I still don't know where to start?
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:06 AM
 
6 posts, read 77,556 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by a bag of it View Post
I'm sorry but I disagree completely with everyone saying stay in Ohio, especially if his parents are paying tuition. I moved here to Breckenridge from Massachusetts when i was 19 and I have loved every bit of it. If you're gonna move, you might as well go somewhere interesting. For me the choose was easy as I love to snowboard, but try to find something you love to do and move to a place where you can do that more easily

Sent from my AT&T Samsung Galaxy Note
I'm a she and thank you! I wanted some insight like this. How did you make the big move? Where you accepted into a university out there or...
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:54 AM
 
3,932 posts, read 7,517,805 times
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You didn't say where you work, but it's best if it's a company that will allow you to transfer to another city or state eventually. If it isn't that kind of company, start looking for another job. (Work two jobs if you can!)

When you're ready to make the move, having a job lined up in your new city will make a big difference, and transferring within a company is the best way to do that.
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