Giving up – or growing out of – your "dream city"

[cafepithecus]

I took a trip up to DC yesterday (it's only 2.5 hours away) and walked around for a good 5 hours or so. Street photography is one of my hobbies, so I can entertain myself all day by walking around and taking pictures of people.

I hadn't been up there to visit at all since 2009, and given my recent thoughts about maybe not wanting to live there anymore, I figured I'd head up for the day.

I do love the city. I love the atmosphere, that there is so much to do and see, so many people, so much culture. I love big cities. But it wasn't quite the same awe-inducing "I NEED TO LIVE HERE" feeling that I've had so strongly in the past.

My plan is to increase my day trips/visits - I think that is enough for me. If I was going to move anywhere right now, it would be Richmond. Big and gritty enough to be urban, awesome arty/hipster scene, but nowhere near as expensive and overwhelming as DC.

[nuala]

Everyone else is right, the river of time changes things. I jumped over my original early 20-s dream of living in a capital city and right into another continent. On that continent, I dreamt at first of a place where the happenings were, like NYC. By my late 30s, to the desire to quit anything that resembled human anthills. 9/11 helped that, too. By chance, I ended up on a remote rural location, with little social life, mostly coastal nature. I fell in love with it - but would I know about that in my 20s? Not a chance.

[loveautumn]

I moved to NYC when I was young, just out of school, and had nothing but bad things happen to me there. Even though I experienced alot, most of my experiences I could have lived without, and looking back it was a big waste of time. One of my best friends is a true urban creature, she lives there and loves it, but the thought of even visiting gives me anxiety.

Fast forward, moved to SoCal when I was just around your age...really loved it for about 5 years, left, moved back and stayed for another 30. The place grew and changed so drastically, I really haven't liked it here for about 15 years. I was very blessed to have good jobs here and financially did way better, couldn't start over so I stuck it out and in alot of ways I'm glad I did. I did learn alot here and grew as a person and don't think of it as a waste of time. Now I'm nearing retirement...on to another phase and a new location.

Some dreams are just that, one shouldn't experience everything they dream about, that's what vacations are for You're growing up, and looking at life differently. Like you said, HR is so close to DC, you can visit when you want and then get the heck out of town. The best of both worlds...I agree you might like Richmond. Wishing you all the best....

[giles33]

But if we are lucky, isn’t life a series of dreams we get to try?


I wanted to live in Lincoln Park Chicago, and I did that. Got over the weekend lake traffic really quickly. Then wanted to live in downtown Chicago, did that, and got over the tourist traffic really quickly. Wanted to be a part of history and urban renewal and raise city kids, so bought a historic home in the city, and got over the part-time job that is gentrification very quickly. Now we are in DFW, and I get to try out my manufactured small town that we (may) want to raise our kids in. And funny enough, my husband and I are already thinking of what foreign territory we wish to retire to. I say all that to say, dreams (and dream cities) change, and it's ok!