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Old 09-25-2012, 08:24 AM
 
74 posts, read 104,923 times
Reputation: 54

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I'm 28 before my uncle died at 23 I had lived in a few places, since he passed and I don't have a financial safety net I've lived in like a ton of different locations something like five some twice, it's not all his passing. I'm always on the run never any where more than a year or two, sometimes less. I have this feeling like I want this to stop but I'm never content with where I am, I end up with mediocre jobs and usually find friends. Maybe it's that I need a new environment, but then I always feel like going back to the place I was before. It's easy to say just pick something and stick with it, but in those moments I can't explain the need to run, or try something new. And I know it's ok to move around but I'm getting tired of being transient and I'm not sure how to stop it.
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:48 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,413 posts, read 61,893,751 times
Reputation: 31990
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cbyrd View Post
...and I don't have a financial safety net I've lived in like a ton of different locations...
...but I'm getting tired of being transient and I'm not sure how to stop it.
You'll have to create your own financial safety net to stop it.

As you have discovered one place is pretty much as good/bad as most others... so pick one.
But just one. Your favorite one... or the one with the best job. Pick it and stick with it.

Develop a circle of friends, interests and activities. Then stay put.
Start accumulating assets (cash mostly but everything else too).

Work on getting a better job so you can save even more.
Look for someone to share with.
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Old 09-25-2012, 12:51 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,326,733 times
Reputation: 1316
I am in the same situation. Mr. Rational - that is good advice, but easier said than done. When the vagabond itch comes over me, it's almost an obsession. It's also difficult for me to find the "perfect" place. The earth is so big and there are so many places to pick from, it's overwhelming and exciting. I can talk myself in circles.
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Old 09-25-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,413 posts, read 61,893,751 times
Reputation: 31990
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
Mr. Rational - that is good advice, but easier said than done.
Everything is easier said than done.

Quote:
It's also difficult for me to find the "perfect" place.
hint: It doesn't exist. Stop looking for it.
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Old 09-26-2012, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Seattle
1,507 posts, read 2,084,401 times
Reputation: 2638
I adore moving! I love discovering new places and meeting new people. I don't see it as something to overcome, but something to embrace.

That said - I became an engineer and generally, with some exceptions, our jobs tend to be based out of one area and it's not a great career move to change every year. So I've come up with some coping mechanisms to help keep my rampant 'nomadism' fed while still staying in one general area. Because squashing it just makes me feel frantic and trapped.

* hiking/skiing/snowshoeing/outdoorsy-stuff - that's right. Get the heck out of town, away from people and all the stuff pressing down on you. Exploring the mountains helps with that urge to 'just get out!!!' I try to go an often as possible and I can definitely tell when I've gone too long without.

* moving - in town. Fortunately I live in a city with lots of neat neighborhoods. I've tried 8 of them in the past 11 years. Most were good, some were a mistake, and a couple have been near magical with how well they fit my life and personality. If I ever do settle down - I have some ideas.

* multiple condos/houses - not yet, but I will. I see no need to settle down in one spot when I could settle down in two or three. I'm saving quite a bit by being a renter and that's all going into the 'some day' fund. I want a city apartment, a mountain cabin and a vacation condo in a foreign country. None of them will be extravagent, but these are the places I like to be best and I intend to make each one of them 'home'.

* explore your own city - don't get in a rut or fall into the trap of being one of those locals who doesn't even know their own city. I make it a point to get out and explore someplace new every month at least. I go find a community play, farmer's market, festival or something in a neighborhood that I don't live in and get to experience something new. Half of my friends barely know how to get around anywhere outside home and work.

* invite your friends over often. This can help build tighter ties. Between my friends (aka: 'second family') and the mountains it'll be really hard to move away from here.

* travel - go see new places, just don't move there. This one is a double-edged sword - it can make those nomadic urges more instense if you're stressed or unhappy with your current situation. However it can also remind you of all the good things you have going on.

Sometimes I still get the nomadic urge and so I start making plans. Most of them come to nothing and the urge goes away, but I figure if I'm meant to move on, then things will work out. It's a tad more difficult since I've built up a career and so has teh husband, but interestingly we are even getting more nomadic there. He recently got a job where he can work from anywhere and I'm looking for a similar setup. Then we may spend 6 months here and the other 6 months wherever the mood strikes us. Fortuantely he's a bit nomadic too, though not as strongly as me.

I do know this - if I competely tried to repress it, I'd self-destruct. However I have learned to live in one general area without feeling trapped and frantic (too often). Best wishes!
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:41 AM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,326,733 times
Reputation: 1316
Kayela, thank you for the wonderful advice. I love the mindset to just embrace the vagabonding!
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,656 posts, read 14,246,072 times
Reputation: 30309
Cbyrd, you will probably not find financial security moving from place to place, unless you have a really unusual skill set. Even if your are doing such in demand work as teaching math or are in a specialty nursing field, you are going to miss out on financial benefits which you may well regret later in life.

If you regret feeling the need to move on, but can't seem to stop having the desire to, then you might want to get counseling to help you identify why this desire is so strong. If you never try to figure out what drives you to do this, you'll never understand yourself. There is a folk definition of insanity which says, " Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results." Well, obviously you aren't insane, but repeating the same pattern of behavior and getting the same results (feeling the need to move on, and not advancing very far in your job) probably isn't working very well for you. Maybe its time for a change.
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Old 09-30-2012, 10:12 AM
 
74 posts, read 104,923 times
Reputation: 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayela View Post
I adore moving! I love discovering new places and meeting new people. I don't see it as something to overcome, but something to embrace.

That said - I became an engineer and generally, with some exceptions, our jobs tend to be based out of one area and it's not a great career move to change every year. So I've come up with some coping mechanisms to help keep my rampant 'nomadism' fed while still staying in one general area. Because squashing it just makes me feel frantic and trapped.

* hiking/skiing/snowshoeing/outdoorsy-stuff - that's right. Get the heck out of town, away from people and all the stuff pressing down on you. Exploring the mountains helps with that urge to 'just get out!!!' I try to go an often as possible and I can definitely tell when I've gone too long without.

* moving - in town. Fortunately I live in a city with lots of neat neighborhoods. I've tried 8 of them in the past 11 years. Most were good, some were a mistake, and a couple have been near magical with how well they fit my life and personality. If I ever do settle down - I have some ideas.

* multiple condos/houses - not yet, but I will. I see no need to settle down in one spot when I could settle down in two or three. I'm saving quite a bit by being a renter and that's all going into the 'some day' fund. I want a city apartment, a mountain cabin and a vacation condo in a foreign country. None of them will be extravagent, but these are the places I like to be best and I intend to make each one of them 'home'.

* explore your own city - don't get in a rut or fall into the trap of being one of those locals who doesn't even know their own city. I make it a point to get out and explore someplace new every month at least. I go find a community play, farmer's market, festival or something in a neighborhood that I don't live in and get to experience something new. Half of my friends barely know how to get around anywhere outside home and work.

* invite your friends over often. This can help build tighter ties. Between my friends (aka: 'second family') and the mountains it'll be really hard to move away from here.

* travel - go see new places, just don't move there. This one is a double-edged sword - it can make those nomadic urges more instense if you're stressed or unhappy with your current situation. However it can also remind you of all the good things you have going on.

Sometimes I still get the nomadic urge and so I start making plans. Most of them come to nothing and the urge goes away, but I figure if I'm meant to move on, then things will work out. It's a tad more difficult since I've built up a career and so has teh husband, but interestingly we are even getting more nomadic there. He recently got a job where he can work from anywhere and I'm looking for a similar setup. Then we may spend 6 months here and the other 6 months wherever the mood strikes us. Fortuantely he's a bit nomadic too, though not as strongly as me.

I do know this - if I competely tried to repress it, I'd self-destruct. However I have learned to live in one general area without feeling trapped and frantic (too often). Best wishes!
@Kayela I like the idea of embracing too. It's not like Normalcy has gotten many folks anywhere.
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Old 10-01-2012, 01:18 AM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
9,610 posts, read 18,806,124 times
Reputation: 8462
It is expensive to move all the time and it takes about a year before the expenses level off from what I've noticed. Just not moving might improve your finances.

Having a group of friends and familiar places is really comfortable, too.

How about taking a vacation instead of moving?
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Old 10-01-2012, 07:29 AM
 
Location: London
1 posts, read 753 times
Reputation: 10
To make your financial security better, you nedd to settle down in one place and try to stay there. You should focus on your carrier and try to be self reliable. and make your self financially strong. Instead of moving all the time to anew place you should settle at a place and should have small vacation at some intervals to relax yourself.
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