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Old 11-04-2012, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Corona
10,058 posts, read 13,948,595 times
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It's all relative as you already mentioned for a number of reasons. Generally in America, homeowners tend to be better neighbors as they have less of in transition mentality and know they will be held to some level of accountability by the neighborhood. If she is going to live in an apartment make sure you check it out and call the local police to see if you can find out how many calls they received there. My GF in college found out the hard way that a lot of her complex turned out to be section 8 housing and there were a lot of social problems there.

I say house with and ADT alarm sign in front and back to bluff it works. Criminals aren't all dumb they look for the easiest targets. You could also put a sign on the gate for guard dog better yet have her get a dog. It doesn't have to be an aggressive bread it just needs to bark a lot. The best dog we ever owned was a Blue Heeler fiercely loyal to family. Your best friend if something bad is going to happen. Smartest bread I have ever encountered, but needs a ton of exercise.

I you are concerned about stalking or someone threatening her PM and I will give you the contact for a bonified privacy expert that some view paranoid but he is the best I have seen available to the public.
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Old 11-04-2012, 12:20 PM
 
9,658 posts, read 15,790,186 times
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When I was single and lived in an apt I tried to appear I was NOT alone. Sometimes I would come home, try to open the door without the key, then act annoyed, fish out my key, enter while yelling Steve, are you home? Fortunately my job was irregular hours, so no one could get a fix on my comings and goings. I also left random lights, TV, radio, etc on. The best tip I read--and used---was to have a large pair of men's work boots outside my door. I borrowed an old pair from my Dad. Get them dirty, then leave them on some newspapers outside the door. Make sure to take them in during the day! Was I paranoid---well, just call it being cautious!
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Old 11-04-2012, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Corona
10,058 posts, read 13,948,595 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
When I was single and lived in an apt I tried to appear I was NOT alone. Sometimes I would come home, try to open the door without the key, then act annoyed, fish out my key, enter while yelling Steve, are you home? Fortunately my job was irregular hours, so no one could get a fix on my comings and goings. I also left random lights, TV, radio, etc on. The best tip I read--and used---was to have a large pair of men's work boots outside my door. I borrowed an old pair from my Dad. Get them dirty, then leave them on some newspapers outside the door. Make sure to take them in during the day! Was I paranoid---well, just call it being cautious!
When I go on vacation I leave 2 full dog size water bowls in plain view. I also recorded my Mom's answer machine message making it appear I live with her. A timer for lights with randomized patterns is good too. When I was in kid living with my single parent Mom, the cops told me if I ever heard someone break in yell "Dad get the gun".

Criminals typically only attack and commit crimes where they perceive it's safe. They don't want to be injured. They just want to victimize other. Turn the tables on them and let them know there is real chance for them being injured and they often back down, they are cowards.
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Old 11-04-2012, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Corona
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Another thing if you realize you are being followed the last place to go is home. Go to the closest police station and report immediately. Let the cops confront them while you safely flee without them finding out where you live.
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Old 11-04-2012, 05:34 PM
 
Location: I live wherever I am.
1,935 posts, read 3,718,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artistic.maze View Post
In your opinion which is safer for a single female to live in...an apartment or a house? I know the neighborhood, city, etc..makes a difference but I mean in general. The house being just a regular house sitting on a street with other houses..not a gated community. The apartment in a complex that anyone at anytime can drive in to. Any opinions would be appreciated
House.

The people who live in apartments are usually those who cannot afford houses, or those who do not intend to inhabit that area for very long (transients). Given that the majority of crime is committed by people who fall within those two groups, it is wise to stay away from places where they gather (meaning: apartment complexes). After all, nobody really WANTS to live in an apartment where you can hear your neighbors fighting, having sex, partying, whatever. If they can afford to live in a house where no walls / ceilings / floors are shared, they will live in a house.

If you can afford to live in a house, live in a house. I have done both the apartment thing and the house thing. I would sooner live in an RV on someone else's property or in an RV park, than live in an apartment building.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Corona
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Originally Posted by RomaniGypsy View Post
House.
apartment where you can hear your neighbors fighting, having sex, partying, whatever.
Gawd that sums up my view on appt. living pretty much.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:32 PM
 
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When you live in a house you can have as many safety items as needed. Alarm, dog, lighting, etc. In an apartment you will be limited.

In a house you can control who has access. A neighbor can't buzz them in.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Anchored in Phoenix
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Fire safety? I'd pick a single family house. In a multiple unit dwelling such as an apartment, some bozo next door might drop a smoke and light the whole building on fire and take you with it.

Security from crime? I tend to go for higher floor apartments / lofts rather than single family homes. People assume apartment renters have very little to steal and home owners are rich. It's stupid but apartment renters can take advantage of it particularly highly mobile people traveling for a living who do not want the hassle of managing a lot of possessions. In my case, most of my wealth is in electronic form or in safe deposit boxes.

There was one time I went to a gated community that had 24/7 security guards and it was inexpensive. It was my aunt's retired accountant I had to visit. I checked in at the gate. It was a mobile home park, of all things! It had both fire safety and safety from crime. The accountant and her husband chose the place because they were stalked from a former tenant of one of their apartment buildings. Many people would prefer to take risks over living in a box though.
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Old 11-04-2012, 10:55 PM
 
6,028 posts, read 13,093,499 times
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Originally Posted by Colorado xxxxx View Post
Another thing if you realize you are being followed the last place to go is home. Go to the closest police station and report immediately. Let the cops confront them while you safely flee without them finding out where you live.
This happened to me! It was really scary. I was with my two little kids at the time. We lived in an apartment community with a pool in a brand new community where many of the apartments were still empty and hadn't been rented out yet. We had walked to the pool and enjoyed our time swimming and I noticed these two guys watching us. We were all alone. The guys creeped me out, so I gathered up my kids (they were 2 and 6 at the time) and we started walking back to our apartment. The two guys followed us. I noticed they were not dressed right for the hot summer day - they were wearing large trench-style coats and they looked kind of bulky and oversized, it was just kind of suspicious looking. I turned down a path that lead towards our apartment and the guys started walking faster, coming down the path. I knew they were following me, and I don't know why I thought of it - but I suddenly knew NOT to go home because then they would know where we lived. So I walked to the apartment office - but they were gone for lunch!! The office doors were locked and the sign said they wouldn't be back for another hour. I felt really scared. I was beginning to freak out because I didn't know where to go and I was trying to "be cool" so my kids wouldn't get scared or know what was going on with the creepy stalker guys... but the kids didn't understand why we were walking everywhere but home. By this time the guys had split up and one was on our left and the other had walked around and was on our right, they were still trying to watch me without me knowing they were watching me. Anyway, so thankfully I had my cellphone so I called the non-emergency number and told the lady on the phone what was happening. She sent a squad car out - the longest ten minutes of my life I think - and as soon as the police car started entering in and we could see it from where we were standing, one of the guys takes off running and jumps the brick wall behind the property. The other slowly walks back towards the other exit. I told the police officer what was up, he told me to stay right there with my kids and he went and tried to find the guy who walked towards the exit. He came back and told me they were gone but if I see them again to call 911. He escorted me home and I noticed him cruising by a few more times the rest of the day.

Anyway - sorry long story... but it was a really creepy experience. If ever you think you are being followed - do not go home. Go to a public place, call a friend or family person, call the cops if you have to, go to Starbucks. Whatever, but don't go home.

Somebody told me that sometimes guys will tag team like that and seek out a mother with young children because it makes for an easy target. After this happened, I only went to the pool with other mom friends or my husband - never alone. I was just too scared.
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Old 11-05-2012, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Corona
10,058 posts, read 13,948,595 times
Reputation: 8887
Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf View Post
This happened to me! It was really scary. I was with my two little kids at the time. We lived in an apartment community with a pool in a brand new community where many of the apartments were still empty and hadn't been rented out yet. We had walked to the pool and enjoyed our time swimming and I noticed these two guys watching us. We were all alone. The guys creeped me out, so I gathered up my kids (they were 2 and 6 at the time) and we started walking back to our apartment. The two guys followed us. I noticed they were not dressed right for the hot summer day - they were wearing large trench-style coats and they looked kind of bulky and oversized, it was just kind of suspicious looking. I turned down a path that lead towards our apartment and the guys started walking faster, coming down the path. I knew they were following me, and I don't know why I thought of it - but I suddenly knew NOT to go home because then they would know where we lived. So I walked to the apartment office - but they were gone for lunch!! The office doors were locked and the sign said they wouldn't be back for another hour. I felt really scared. I was beginning to freak out because I didn't know where to go and I was trying to "be cool" so my kids wouldn't get scared or know what was going on with the creepy stalker guys... but the kids didn't understand why we were walking everywhere but home. By this time the guys had split up and one was on our left and the other had walked around and was on our right, they were still trying to watch me without me knowing they were watching me. Anyway, so thankfully I had my cellphone so I called the non-emergency number and told the lady on the phone what was happening. She sent a squad car out - the longest ten minutes of my life I think - and as soon as the police car started entering in and we could see it from where we were standing, one of the guys takes off running and jumps the brick wall behind the property. The other slowly walks back towards the other exit. I told the police officer what was up, he told me to stay right there with my kids and he went and tried to find the guy who walked towards the exit. He came back and told me they were gone but if I see them again to call 911. He escorted me home and I noticed him cruising by a few more times the rest of the day.

Anyway - sorry long story... but it was a really creepy experience. If ever you think you are being followed - do not go home. Go to a public place, call a friend or family person, call the cops if you have to, go to Starbucks. Whatever, but don't go home.

Somebody told me that sometimes guys will tag team like that and seek out a mother with young children because it makes for an easy target. After this happened, I only went to the pool with other mom friends or my husband - never alone. I was just too scared.
Thanks for sharing that. I am sorry that happened and glad everything turned out fine. Having shared that, I can tell you I worked with juvenile offenders, some really bad kids honestly, and that behavior is purely predatory, your instinct was spot on. When your kids get old enough you could even have a talk with them about safe words that if used means they do exactly as pre-planned or you can suddenly go off script and start talking about you imaginary husband and how much he enjoys cleaning his .357 or something like that in the presence of such creeps. I know about the criminal mind sight because I have worked with them and enjoy studying how to defeat them.

I remember watching a some crime prevention shows and they said generally women have been instinct and intuition than men but feel afraid at times to trust it or speak up I am glad you used your given talents.
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