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Old 01-24-2013, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Over here
281 posts, read 538,966 times
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I know this has been discussed and I did a search but want to narrow it down to my particular situation. I have been wanting to move from my hometown for a while now and cannot get over the fear of regretting my decision. The reason is this..I have a great job, great pay, a home (rental) in a neighborhood I absolutely love. I want to give it all up though because I feel so stagnant, bored, like I'm just getting through the days but not really living my life. I feel guilty as so many are out of work and would kill for a good job with decent pay, but I have to do what's best for me, right?

I will most likely have to take a paycut in my new dream city, but I will still be able to afford the basics and I'm so ready to get away and start fresh. I am newly divorced, no kids, and have lived in the same town for 40 years. I don't have a lot of close friends, two or three, and I love my work family but feel like I will find a new work family and new friends easily.

Has anyone ever just walked away from a life on the outside looks like everything one could want...but on the inside you know you want something different, a change? If so, how did you get past the fear of regretting your decision?
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Old 01-24-2013, 12:52 PM
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11,386 posts, read 10,513,096 times
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I'm doing exactly that, although I'm a lot younger than you. If anything, I will make the same amount of money, but with the strong possibility of making a lot more.

I say do it. In the end you will probably regret not doing it than regret doing it. You will always wonder what could have been. If life is stale where you are and you think you can succeed elsewhere, then I say go for it.
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Old 01-24-2013, 01:13 PM
 
4,572 posts, read 7,055,913 times
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If you are newly divorced, I've seen lots of advice, which I strongly agree with, not to make any other major changes in your life for at least a year. Divorce is a huge change for anyone, and to make other huge changes...well, it might be wise to just wait awhile. Your dream city will always be there!
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Old 01-24-2013, 01:38 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,490 posts, read 62,120,010 times
Reputation: 32158
Quote:
Originally Posted by TXred View Post
I will most likely have to take a paycut in my new dream city,
but I will still be able to afford the basics and I'm so ready to get away and start fresh.
...but I have to do what's best for me, right?
Right.

Quote:
I am newly divorced, no kids...
That makes it all a LOT simpler.

When you do go... be sure you have something that you WANT waiting for you.
iow... don't just hit the road and hope to stumble across something that will be better.

Focus on finding another job doing what you do now... as a start.
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Old 01-24-2013, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Over here
281 posts, read 538,966 times
Reputation: 363
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveautumn View Post
If you are newly divorced, I've seen lots of advice, which I strongly agree with, not to make any other major changes in your life for at least a year. Divorce is a huge change for anyone, and to make other huge changes...well, it might be wise to just wait awhile. Your dream city will always be there!
Thanks for everyone's replies. Loveautumn...I have heard and read this as well and it is true. I've actually been separated a year and a half, but finally got around to the paperwork in December, but my heart and head have been divorced quite a while. When people first started telling me "Don't make any changes or big decisions for a year..." I was like yeah right! I have a strong head, it won't affect me. And I'll tell you the year was quite a roller coaster and I came to understand why everyone said that. But, I am going on over a year now having wanted to make this move so I guess it's something deep down that I need to do!

Thanks everyone!
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:52 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,724 posts, read 9,021,232 times
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If it's not a major pay cut (more than about $5k a year) and you won't starve and you can live a good quality of life, I would say go for it.
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Old 01-24-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,220 posts, read 12,658,664 times
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I left a high-paying corporate job in California to move to Michigan to start grad school for a Ph.D. at the grand old age of 34 ... and now I have a job that I absolutely love, live in an area that I absolutely love, and own my own house, which I also absolutely love.

See a pattern?

I took about an 80-90% pay cut from my corporate job to being a TA, but I was doing something I loved. Granted, I wasn't married (although I was in a relationship) and I didn't have kids, so that made it easier (as does your situation). But I have never regretted my decision for a second.
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Old 01-25-2013, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Over here
281 posts, read 538,966 times
Reputation: 363
Actually I'm only assuming a pay cut based on the research, and the fact I've been at my job over 10 years. I can afford about a $10k cut, which is around what it might be, but after reading your replies I realize it doesn't matter!!! If I'm not happy with what I'm doing no amount of money will change that.

Congrats Karen! That's amazing, and quite an accomplishment. I get more and more motivated reading this board and I'm thinking my only regret when I get there will be not having done it sooner!

Have a great weekend everyone!
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