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Old 01-31-2013, 06:12 AM
 
5,453 posts, read 9,256,307 times
Reputation: 2141

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Yes we did. We moved to Pittsburgh for my son who is Autistic because we were told all sorts of fairy tales as to how much better it would be for him, and we moved, and we could only stand it for 9 months. It was horrible for him, and while Pittsburgh is visually a very nice city, the inner workings of it SUCK royally. And we didn't even get enough snow to make it count!

So we moved back to Tampa.


The end.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02 View Post
This last summer, I ended up in Oklahoma City after three years of dead-end job searching in Charlotte. I loved living in Charlotte, I liked everything about the city. It just kind of fit me. Unfortunately, after three years I couldn't find anything more than a telemarketing job, so I had to do something. My parents had been pressuring me the entire time I was in Charlotte to move back home to Arkansas. Rural Arkansas isn't for me, so I decided to compromise with them and job search in Tulsa and OKC. I ended up finding a very good job in OKC very quickly, which I am thankful to have, but much of me really regrets leaving Charlotte, a place I loved so much. I could really rip OKC in this thread but I am not going to do it. Let me just say it doesn't match up when compared to other cities its size or even smaller. If you are over age 19 or 20 and not married yet you stick out like a sore thumb (In Charlotte it was not uncommon to wait until late 20s/early 30s for marriage). The culture here is such that I really don't have any options other than to spend all my free time alone, drinking, in my apartment. If I don't do something, this place is going to turn me into an alcoholic.

My plan right now is to work here another year or two and then try to get a job transfer or simply move. I didn't want to have to move again and am not looking forward to it, but it will probably be necessary for my sanity. A lot of OKC homers boost the city as being an up and coming place and great city to move to, and it may one day be, but its not there yet, and is a LONG ways from "there." I'll probably try to make the move down to Dallas or Houston by the time I'm 30.

My huge regret is letting my family convince me to settle for Oklahoma, and thinking it would come close to matching up to what I had in Charlotte. I didn't have a choice but to leave Charlotte for economic reasons, but I could have probably found a job in DFW, of course against my family's advice, and moved there instead. Has anybody else ever made a move that was unwise and regretted it? What did you end up doing about it?

 
Old 01-31-2013, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,865 posts, read 4,140,485 times
Reputation: 6826
I have the opposite problem. Ironically about two states listed here as bad decisions.

We spontaniously moved to Montana 8 years ago and it's the best decision we ever made. We've built ourselves a great life here but we're ready for new adventure. My husband is narrowing in on a job in New Hampshire now so we're looking into the lakes region. I'm excited for the adventure but nervous that our great relocation experience won't repeat it's self.

I keep telling myself, if we don't like it, we can relocate again in a few years. We move with my husband's job so he needs to give it time before he could try to move up again.

I think it's time for you to move on. Why wait a few years if you don't have to? I assume you are doing extensive research on the areas you're considering so you don't find yourself in a similar situation.

Oh, and my mother-in-law doesn't want us to leave MT because she likes all the hot springs when she visits. Sorry ma, it's not up to you.
 
Old 01-31-2013, 05:39 PM
 
Location: San Diego
55 posts, read 86,200 times
Reputation: 181
Ah, yes! In the 90's and early 00's, I had visited Seattle a few times on business and fell in love with the city - most of these trips were in summer when the place just glitters. So, when I got a job offer (with a generous relocation package) from a company there, I jumped at the opportunity and moved to Seattle from the city in the South that I was living in.

The first winter I realised that the cold, dark and overcast gray sky was a real struggle for the long 4-5 months that it lasted. No sun for days at a time. But, on the positive side, I travelled out of Seattle at least once a month on business, to sunnier climes (then again, any other place that I went to was sunnier!), which meant that I got a break from the gloom periodically. So, I thought I could manage the winter. But, in my second year, it just became hard to get out of bed in the morning and I felt this overwhelming urge to get out. At that time, I had thought that the desire to move was due to other factors - noisy place where I was living in, a job that I was beginning to hate, being in a far corner of the US, etc., which were all valid to some extent.

So, after two years, I decided to quit and move to a city that is sunnier and warm. It took me a few months to find a job, but, I finally got out of Seattle after 2+ years. Came to realize after a year, that what I felt in Seattle was severe SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which I had confused with other reasons. I just knew I was unhappy there, but, didn't quite see climate as the strong, primary factor affecting me. After the move, slowly but surely, my mood lifted, my sense of humor came back, and, life seemed brighter (literally and figuratively). That's when I realized why I had felt the way I had felt in Seattle.

In retrospect, I was seduced by Seattle's beauty and had moved there without really doing my homework, and, despite warnings. For example, a friend had pointed out that Seattle has the highest suicide rate in the US - for a good reason. While the city and Washington state are great - I still consider it a gorgeous place - and the people polite and friendly, I am not made for that weather.

The observation from several posters that the place and environment you live in matters and that it even shapes you significantly is so very true. Give enough thought and consideration and make a conscious effort to evaluate whether a place suits you before moving there. At the least, be willing to accept that it's time to get out if a place doesn't feel quite right. It might take some time to accomplish the change - but that acceptance of how you feel is key. Listen to what your gut and heart tell you - if it feels uncomfortable and difficult, there's a good reason why it feels so. Try changing things around and see if it gets better; if they don't, work towards getting out of the place as soon as you can. Even if friends and family and people around you tell you otherwise, and, beyond a time limit that you set, don't stay on hoping things will improve.

Of course, it does take mistakes in life to get to a point where one can choose wisely - so don't be hard on yourself for making mistakes, for there's no wise man that didn't start life as a fool. :-)

OP, I wish you all the best.
 
Old 01-31-2013, 09:17 PM
 
8,276 posts, read 11,851,295 times
Reputation: 10075
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
Madison, Wisconsin. Talked into by a friend, who moved to Scotland after I was there for 5 months.

The town was crammed with 40,000 students, primarily from the farms of Wisconsin, who mostly acted like drunken sailors on shore leave. The locals put down anyone who was from a city. That meant me.

Then there was the bitter winters with winds that cut right through you, and steamy summers with waves of humidity and mosquitos rising from the 2 lakes that surround the city on 3 sides. Lived in a 1920's house with no insulation and roommates who thought paying for heat was a waste of money. The dishes soaking in the sink had ice on them in the morning. I lived under an electric blanket for 2 years.

I looked for a job in California, and moved there as soon as I could.
I understand the reasons for your move, but Madison, WI is actually a pretty good place to live, unless you really mind cold winters. The city itself is pleasantly middle-class, affordable, and within fairly easy reach of Milwaukee and Chicago ( I also lived there myself for a time)..
 
Old 02-01-2013, 01:17 AM
 
3,463 posts, read 5,634,148 times
Reputation: 7218
A few times.
We suffer wanderlust, so we move constantly. Our biggest let-down was Vermont . . . We thought it was going to be the cover of the Woodstock album after talking to people and visiting a few times, but both of the jobs that we got pre-move, were in Rutland, which in reality proved to be an angry redneck dump that could have been used as the background in a depressing Tom Waits tune. 10 months of darkness didnt add positivity to the situation, either.
Fortunately we still had some money left to get out, but that move was bad too, but thats for another thread
But yeah, I still love love Vermont, I just would only own a house there in retirement, Florida style, and in a different place than one of the depressed town areas.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 04:06 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,827 posts, read 7,303,315 times
Reputation: 4949
I was wrong about Maine, but then even Mainers I talked to, thought of Lewiston as the armpit of Maine...visiting is so different from actually living there. Some say visit first before moving but you don't get a complete picture. I visited Maine before moving there and everyone was so nice...
I always loved the northeastern US but all that snow and cold and darkness can weigh on a person and Florida is too hot and humid. I need something in between. Temps that are mainly the same year round. Near the ocean. There is no perfect place but you have to weed out the things you absolutely can't stand or deal with and put up with the lesser negatives...
 
Old 02-01-2013, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Mass-Vermont line
31 posts, read 46,811 times
Reputation: 52
As i moved into a city in the northeast thought it would be nice but,not for me although the many stores that were close was nice just the crime alone someone got shot right across the street from my apartment and another shooting just a few days later.I'm a country girl as i know live on the Mass-Vermont line so i have the best of both worlds and i'm very happy and i can say i'm truly home.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 10:00 AM
 
1,658 posts, read 3,536,057 times
Reputation: 1710
Quote:
Originally Posted by MassVt View Post
I understand the reasons for your move, but Madison, WI is actually a pretty good place to live, unless you really mind cold winters. The city itself is pleasantly middle-class, affordable, and within fairly easy reach of Milwaukee and Chicago ( I also lived there myself for a time)..
That, and being both the capital city -and- the main university town, it caters to 3 main groups of people:

1) Students
2) Government Employees
3) People in their 30s, 40s & beyond who still wish they were students

There's a lot of overlap between 2 & 3. But with a population of ~250k, it will feel a lot smaller/stuffier for everyone not in these groups.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 11:07 AM
 
8,276 posts, read 11,851,295 times
Reputation: 10075
Quote:
Originally Posted by thunderkat59 View Post
A few times.
We suffer wanderlust, so we move constantly. Our biggest let-down was Vermont . . . We thought it was going to be the cover of the Woodstock album after talking to people and visiting a few times, but both of the jobs that we got pre-move, were in Rutland, which in reality proved to be an angry redneck dump that could have been used as the background in a depressing Tom Waits tune. 10 months of darkness didnt add positivity to the situation, either.
Fortunately we still had some money left to get out, but that move was bad too, but thats for another thread
But yeah, I still love love Vermont, I just would only own a house there in retirement, Florida style, and in a different place than one of the depressed town areas.
If you had moved to Burlington, you would've had a much better experience. There really isn't much to do in Rutland, and little reason for living there.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
5,314 posts, read 7,753,707 times
Reputation: 3568
Quote:
Originally Posted by rurallady View Post
As i moved into a city in the northeast thought it would be nice but,not for me although the many stores that were close was nice just the crime alone someone got shot right across the street from my apartment and another shooting just a few days later.I'm a country girl as i know live on the Mass-Vermont line so i have the best of both worlds and i'm very happy and i can say i'm truly home.
See? What's right for some is wrong for others. I lived for a couple years in Colrain, MA, within walking distance of VT but I got so incredibly bored. It probably didn't help that I worked in Chicopee so had to do that drive every day. For the past 10 years I've been living in RI, and while it has it's highlights, I simply can't take the cold and dark anymore. My wife and I are moving to Las Vegas in 4 months. I need heat!
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