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It's been 2010 since I posted on the board about living on my own. Thank you guys for the support. It worked out!
Now I am in another situation. To make a long story short and to get right to it. Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years and 2 months - Atlanta to New York. The long distance thing is really getting to her now. She is seriously not feeling it anymore. Every I would say to people I am in a long distance relationship, they used to say "great, that's good... keep it up." Now all I hear is, "how long have you been doing this." I say 2 years and the response is, "oh boy that's awhile." So I can see where it may be getting a little long. But it's affecting the relationship. She wants to me to be there most of the time. We see each other every month for at least 3 days (3 is the average, once in awhile 4). She said to me at one point, that the relationship will not be able to move forward past what we have now. I agree. I mean talking on the phone only gets so far, and only goes so far.
I have been thinking a lot about moving to New York. I would like Atlanta to be our home(she does as well), but in the mean time, moving to New York is on the table. The first proposed plan was her moving to Atlanta, though it seems as if me moving to New York as more the bar more that way. I currently been working in the IT field for the past 12 years so I assuming if I do make the jump(I really don't want to stay there, just for a while until we can bounce back to Atlanta) I can get a job. Currently I am working on my degree in Business Management (moving up the IT Management chain and getting out of the technical day to day work).
I think her mind changed about moving to Atlanta right now, is because she is a little affraid. Which I totally can understand. This is the reason why the New York move is on the table. To help take some of that fear away and in the mean time prep for the move to Atlanta.
I think in the long run, If something doesn't happen or plan is not officially in place, I could loose her... I can feel it :-(
So let me know your thoughts.... thanks board......
Answer this please because I am confused. I live in ___________ now and my GF lives in _____________now?
Before I even answer that portion once you respond, I would ask myself one very serious question. Is my GF getting tired of me/us or in different words. If I relocate for her, will we make it and if not, what am I sacrificing if I do relo and it doesn't work out? Are you willing to take that risk and can you get another job if you were to give up what you have now? Obviously, no one has a crystal ball but I would look at the potential for the couple splitting very seriously before I would relo.
Answer this please because I am confused. I live in ___________ now and my GF lives in _____________now?
Before I even answer that portion once you respond, I would ask myself one very serious question. Is my GF getting tired of me/us or in different words. If I relocate for her, will we make it and if not, what am I sacrificing if I do relo and it doesn't work out? Are you willing to take that risk and can you get another job if you were to give up what you have now? Obviously, no one has a crystal ball but I would look at the potential for the couple splitting very seriously before I would relo.
I live in Atlanta, she lives in New York. Well there is always a sacrifice right, with me or her moving. Well I hope she is not getting tired of me.. lol. Really though its the long distance, she just can't stand it any more so wants to move forward. I don't see us breaking up. Her target his the long distance. She feels we can't move but only so far in the relationship while keeping this up. Very Understandable.
If you are not 100% sure that it is not because she is getting tired of you then you need to have that talk before you quit your job and move across the country. It is understandable she wants to live in the same city but its strange that you would be moving and not her if you two want to end up in Atlanta. If that is because she is getting bored or doubting it will work and doesnt want to disrupt her own life that is a big problem. Wait until the next time you see her in person and discuss every detail of why she has changed her mind. I wish you both the best. Good luck.
Before I even answer that portion once you respond, I would ask myself one very serious question. Is my GF getting tired of me/us or in different words. If I relocate for her, will we make it and if not, what am I sacrificing if I do relo and it doesn't work out? Are you willing to take that risk and can you get another job if you were to give up what you have now? Obviously, no one has a crystal ball but I would look at the potential for the couple splitting very seriously before I would relo.
I agree with this.
And frankly, if ultimately you don't want to be in NY, to me it makes no sense at all to move there. You're going to spend money to move to a much more expensive place, and she fears moving to Atlanta now. Basically what is happening on her end is she is thinking "once I get him back here I'll convince him how great NY is". She doesn't want to move to ATL now, she isn't going to be more open to that as the years go by. People get more, not less, entrenched where they are.
You two need to sit down and have a serious discussion, no ultimatums or worries about "what if" and decide if what you want in 5-10 years is compatible with each other. If it's not, make the break and move on.
Good advice for you. As already pointed out, if ultimately you want to live in Atlanta and not NY does it make any sense at all to move to go back? Moving is expensive, stressful and tiring.
Stay in GA. Why move to NY just to move back. New York is too expensive. For what you will pay for a one bed room in NY you can rent a house some place else. I live in NY and can't wait to get out of here, heading right to GA. Good luck
Of course she is tired of the status quo! You two need to decide if you want to commit to each other, and how would you make it happen if that is your joint decision.
If you two can't commit then I think the relationship is dead. Your gf wants a stable, committed relationship. I'd figure out how she could move to Atlanta, if at all possible. What is holding her back?
If you don't want to live in N.Y., and she doesn't want to live in Atlanta, then I don't where this relationship is going.
Who has the better paying job? Would it be easier for you to start over, or for her? I would think Atlanta is less expensive that New York, but New York would be more exciting for you. Both of you need to sit down someplace and talk this over. Best of luck to you.
Propose. Then maybe she will be secure enough to move to Atlanta.
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