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Old 03-07-2013, 07:57 AM
128 posts, read 287,291 times
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Have any of you moved to other states that family doesnt live in, and how did that go? Im 31, and single without kids and really not looking to settle down too much for a few years.. Im thinking of moving to Chicago, New York City or Miami (Currently live in Michigan). Im curious, those of you who have moved to other states other then where your parents live, how did that go? Chicago wouldnt be too far and I could drive home but thats probably my last choice of the 3.. New York City has pretty much everything a single guy could want as does Miami so those 2 are pretty much at the top of my list but I realize the costs of coming home would be high, I dont want to miss out on too much with my parents getting into their mid and upper 60's now... so its a risk but Im curious how it went or is going and how often you're able to visit home after moving to another state.

Last edited by sportsguy9981; 03-07-2013 at 08:57 AM..
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Old 03-07-2013, 09:42 AM
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,075 posts, read 8,372,651 times
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I did. I moved from VA where pretty much all of my family lives, to CO where I don't have any family. I loved it at first and I didn't go home at all the first year I lived here. But last year I went home a lot and it gets harder and harder to leave them every time I go back. I'm currently working on moving back to the east coast. Maybe not VA, but definitely within driving distance. Being away from my family is just too hard for me. I will say that I am glad I had the experience of being on my own and trying something completely new, so I don't think it was a wasted move. I'm glad I did it, but ready to be closer.
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Old 03-07-2013, 10:19 AM
Location: NoVa
803 posts, read 1,372,447 times
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I did in late 2009. I moved from Northern VA, just a few hours north of where most of my family is located, to Chicago's outer suburbs for work. I flew home about a dozen times the first two years for holidays, vacations and weddings, but only flew three times last year. I feel really distant/excluded with some of my family and I'm unhappy about my situation.

Last edited by ASOT; 03-07-2013 at 11:04 AM..
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Old 03-07-2013, 03:18 PM
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I moved from Eastern Nebraska, where most of my family lives, to Western South Dakota (Black Hills). It's only an 8 hour drive so I still go back to visit a couple times a year, sometimes more. It would be a lot harder if I had moved across the country. I am not alone here, though. I moved to be with my then boyfriend, now husband so I have him and some of his family members. I love it here and don't regret the move.
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Old 03-07-2013, 03:18 PM
Location: San Jose, CA
230 posts, read 253,420 times
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I made a huge move; born and raised in NYC, and moved out to CA for school and remained for the last (almost) 22 years. Of course my reasons for moving were due to escaping a highly dysfunctional household. I went home during school breaks; as I became a worker bee, I went home less and less; when my father passed away in 1999, it had been over four years since my last visit. Then, my mother and I would alternate visits every year. Our relationship had drastically improved and we became close. In 2010 she was supposed to see me, but was constantly hospitalized. Then, in 2011, same thing, but she promised she would come visit during Thanksgiving, and that I didn't need to come see her. She passed away on Independence Day that year.

Bottom line; explore all reasons for the move, and find a place where you're not TOO far from your parents, to where you can rush home at a moment's notice, if something were to happen. Five to six hour plane trips are on the excessive side, and due to distance, you won't be able to visit family as often as you'd like.

Would I do it again knowing then, what I know now? Probably. California has spoiled me, and I don't think my life would have been as fulfilling had I stayed home.
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Old 03-07-2013, 05:31 PM
Location: Raleigh
425 posts, read 538,532 times
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I moved a 12 hour drive from my family almost twenty years ago.

My income and work situations haven't allowed for frequent flights to visit. Sometimes I can only visit every other year for 5-7 days.

Telephone calls generally kept the relationship close with my parents. My Mothers health has been on a downward spiral the last 4 years and talking on the phone is difficult. I am also frustrated that I can not offer much day to day assistance with her care. My sister has taken on that task and does a fantastic job. I try to visit when my sister is on break (she teaches) so I can care for our Mother and let my sister have a week without obligations. We are at the point in our aging where the reality of limited time left is a huge pink elephant in the room.

You don't mention siblings...I have found it much harder to really know most of my nieces and nephews. Seeing kids briefly once a year, well, it is hard to keep much continuity in the relationship. I do regret the loss of that opportunity.

But all in all the move was good for me in all other aspects of my life. With more time and money I could have spent more time with the kids, but it didn't work out that way.

Last edited by cat_link; 03-07-2013 at 05:32 PM.. Reason: clarification
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Old 03-08-2013, 05:19 PM
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,876 posts, read 14,390,517 times
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I am going to answer your question from a different perspective. Our kids moved away and we chose to move closer to two of them. What I have observed about this sort of situation, is that eventually the parent grows older and needs some help. Son or daughter are so far away that help is not forthcoming. Senior has an accident or health crisis or the other parent dies. Senior ends up by him/herself far away from adult child, or is forced to move at a great age to be closer to adult child.

I decided that we needed to move while we were still young enough to do it ourselves. We left friends and the city in which I have lived my entire life, heretofore. We considered it an adventure, and we have never looked back.

Consider the future. How will you handle it when a parent or parents need help. I'd talk it over with the parents, to see how they feel. Maybe they'd move to be closer to you!
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