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We will be relocating in June 2008 from the So. Cal. to PA. When we find out the actual date of the move should we tell our kids or wait until it is closer?Our kids (ages 18,15,13 and 8) will all be affected. Our 18yr old will have to either move into her sorority house or move in with a friend. She is still living with us while she goes to college out here. The other kids will come with us. Do we tell them early and let them get used to the idea, but then pepper us with reasons why they don't want to move?
Or do we wait until a couple months before and tell them? I know they will not be happy with the move because they love our neighborhood and they will miss their friends that they have grown up with. We are relocating to have a better quality of life. It is just too expensive out here for us. And or family is back there and we miss them terribly. Any suggestions on how to make relocation easier for teens?
Thank you!
I would vote on telling them now. That way, they have time to get used to the idea. Lots of things you will do in the coming months will be the "last time" they will do them in your house, or with certain friends - I am thinking of holiday celebrations and the like - and I think it is important for them, at least the older ones, to know and maybe appreciate that this will be the last time. We are moving from CA to CT in June as well, and I have told our 10 and 16 already. I know that they have appreciated knowing, although it is an adjustment. I am all for total disclosure. Good luck!
Okay I think you are all right in telling them now. That was my first inclination but then I wondered if thinking about it for so many months would make them even more miserable. I think that knowing that things will be "the last time" etc. is important though even if it's hard. I guess I am just trying to avoid the inevitable. I am hoping they see this as an adventure, my teenagers are girls though so I am sure it will be heart wrenching for them. My son who is 9 will be fine, he will believe anything we tell him. Thanks for the advice.
And the note on the door would for sure be my first choice but....
We've been planning a move for a couple of years now. My kids (ages 7-17) are homeschooled so we aren't leaving a school situation but they do have a lot of friends in the area. They have known that our plan is to move from California as soon as we can sell the house but it really didn't sink in until my husband started a new job that will allow him to live anywhere in the US. He travels a lot but works from home the rest of the time. All of the kids were fine with it except our 10 year old, he shed some tears. He's okay now and looking forward to moving. We have noticed that our close friends (a family with kids our kids ages) has pulled back and that has been hurtful. I think though their attitude has helped my kids accept the fact we are moving.
I'm sure people will have a lot of different opinions on this one. I posted this same question back in June on the raleigh-durham-chapel-hill-cary part of the forum. Here is the Thread and if you would like to PM me, feel free. Good luck! Jeannie
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