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Old 10-26-2007, 07:47 AM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,655,884 times
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I'm not sure if this should be here on in the relationship section, but figured this was better.

I moved to Kentucky the middle of August so that I could attend the university here. I packed up my five kids, two grandkids and three dogs and made the trip. We are all so miserable it is insane. I did as much research online before coming about jobs, housing etc. I called and spoke with police departments and employment agencies, anyone and everyone I thought I could or should talk to. The problem is this place is awful. there are no jobs and what there are pay half as (literally half) much as they did where we were previously. ( DH was going to stay in NC and finish project until we got settled here and then find a job and then come, but his project ended without notice, so he came too)The people are not friendly, the schools are awful, I mean it's just bad. In just about any area you can think of it's just bad.

My question is, what do I do now? I have to finish atleast the semester here. (Which btw, the school is jerking me around too and not transferring in my credits the way I was promised.) I only have three semesters left to get my BA and I can't get that where we lived prior. So what do I do? Try and stick it out here or move the kids AGAIN? I have no money, the financial aid promised isn't coming through because some was based on credits that I'm not getting. It's just one thing after another. I'm trying to be optimistic, but am losing hope slowly but surely. We have no money, every tiny bit of savings is gone, rent is due soon, I don't have it. I'm now behind on car payment etc. I'm really beginning to freak out.

Sorry for the sobbing and whinning, but please help!
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Old 10-26-2007, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Who knows
2,355 posts, read 1,991,044 times
Reputation: 1192
I am so sad to hear what's going on in your life but try not to lose hope! Is there any other place you can move to? I know you don't want to uproot you, your children, and grandchildren again but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Your situation really doesn't seem like it will get better so maybe just moving one more time won't hurt. If the school and financial aid are both jerking you around, then you probably need to find a spot that's more conducive to your needs. Aside from Kentucky, where else did you do research on? Can your husband find another project possibly in another state?

Good luck!
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Old 10-26-2007, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
538 posts, read 1,657,318 times
Reputation: 354
That is a heart wrenching story and I feel bad for your situation. You may have to realize that you made a bad decision though and move on. Maybe you could get a job, even part time, to relieve your financial worries. If you work for a while it will at least give you some money to get out of Kentucky. I am surprised that in all your research you did not find that the job market was poor in that area. Most people on this board at least will be totally honest with you. The next time you make a move you need to talk to people who are already there. I know that does nothing for your situation now though. I think if I were you I would put school on the back burner, at least for this semester, and concentrate on making money so that you can move. Once you find a new area go to the school and ask an advisor for help, they are usually very good about knowing what will transfer and they can also help you with your financial aid. It should not be as hard as it is for you now. I have four kids so I know you worry about them, but they are resiliant. You have to do what is best for your family. Try and make the most informed decision you can next time and chalk this up to a life lesson. You and your husband need to work and save money to get out. Can you go back to where you were or near there. At least it would be somewhat familiar to you. Good luck to you!
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Old 10-26-2007, 10:26 AM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,264,605 times
Reputation: 692
Quote:
Originally Posted by happeemommee View Post
I'm not sure if this should be here on in the relationship section, but figured this was better.

I moved to Kentucky the middle of August so that I could attend the university here. I packed up my five kids, two grandkids and three dogs and made the trip. We are all so miserable it is insane. I did as much research online before coming about jobs, housing etc. I called and spoke with police departments and employment agencies, anyone and everyone I thought I could or should talk to. The problem is this place is awful. there are no jobs and what there are pay half as (literally half) much as they did where we were previously. ( DH was going to stay in NC and finish project until we got settled here and then find a job and then come, but his project ended without notice, so he came too)The people are not friendly, the schools are awful, I mean it's just bad. In just about any area you can think of it's just bad.

My question is, what do I do now? I have to finish atleast the semester here. (Which btw, the school is jerking me around too and not transferring in my credits the way I was promised.) I only have three semesters left to get my BA and I can't get that where we lived prior. So what do I do? Try and stick it out here or move the kids AGAIN? I have no money, the financial aid promised isn't coming through because some was based on credits that I'm not getting. It's just one thing after another. I'm trying to be optimistic, but am losing hope slowly but surely. We have no money, every tiny bit of savings is gone, rent is due soon, I don't have it. I'm now behind on car payment etc. I'm really beginning to freak out.

Sorry for the sobbing and whinning, but please help!
Sometimes it take a while to adjust to a new place. Have you given it enough time? Otherwise, I would suggest you move sooner or later. If you move later, you might have more time to save up money for the move. Don't feel bad, I moved to Australia once and then back to the U.S. a year later because things didn't work out as planned.

Greenie
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Old 10-26-2007, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Vero Beach, Fl
2,949 posts, read 12,163,465 times
Reputation: 2074
I may not sound as sympathetic, so please forgive me on that one.

You made a decision, it's not a life sentence. Your goal is to finish your degree, well do so. Don't look for things to complain about.

You have your family and your animals with you - it is wonderful that you have the love and warmth surrounding you. You could be in Iraq without a family and your pets.

Moving to a new area is always going to present aspects that you are not accustomed to and may dislike. You will get accustomed to some things and others not. You have to give your new place a chance. More importantly, finish your degree. Do the best you can and be as resourceful as possible. Change is certainly not always easy.

Given that you moved an entire family to a new location also shows that you want to create a better life for yourself and your loved ones - a little sacrifice at this point is a small price to pay. You will make it and do just fine - just don't dwell on the negatives. :-)
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:07 AM
 
5,617 posts, read 13,738,744 times
Reputation: 2774
I really liked your tough love approach jhlcomp!!! I agree, stick it out.
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Old 10-27-2007, 05:49 PM
 
Location: On the plateau, TN
15,205 posts, read 10,580,760 times
Reputation: 9984
JH, very well stated....
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Old 10-27-2007, 06:55 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,264,605 times
Reputation: 692
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhlcomp View Post
I may not sound as sympathetic, so please forgive me on that one.

You made a decision, it's not a life sentence. Your goal is to finish your degree, well do so. Don't look for things to complain about.

You have your family and your animals with you - it is wonderful that you have the love and warmth surrounding you. You could be in Iraq without a family and your pets.

Moving to a new area is always going to present aspects that you are not accustomed to and may dislike. You will get accustomed to some things and others not. You have to give your new place a chance. More importantly, finish your degree. Do the best you can and be as resourceful as possible. Change is certainly not always easy.

Given that you moved an entire family to a new location also shows that you want to create a better life for yourself and your loved ones - a little sacrifice at this point is a small price to pay. You will make it and do just fine - just don't dwell on the negatives. :-)
I agree. If you can make a go of it there, then just stay. I understand it's a difficult adjustment, but that's just what it is, an adjustment. You're best bed might be to tough it out until you get your degree. I think that after a while, you'll find it's really not quite so bad as you thought. Try and make the best of things.

Greenie
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Old 10-31-2007, 09:02 AM
 
280 posts, read 1,100,293 times
Reputation: 213
Red face I can relate to your situation..

Quote:
Originally Posted by happeemommee View Post
I'm not sure if this should be here on in the relationship section, but figured this was better.

I moved to Kentucky the middle of August so that I could attend the university here. I packed up my five kids, two grandkids and three dogs and made the trip. We are all so miserable it is insane. I did as much research online before coming about jobs, housing etc. I called and spoke with police departments and employment agencies, anyone and everyone I thought I could or should talk to. The problem is this place is awful. there are no jobs and what there are pay half as (literally half) much as they did where we were previously. ( DH was going to stay in NC and finish project until we got settled here and then find a job and then come, but his project ended without notice, so he came too)The people are not friendly, the schools are awful, I mean it's just bad. In just about any area you can think of it's just bad.

My question is, what do I do now? I have to finish atleast the semester here. (Which btw, the school is jerking me around too and not transferring in my credits the way I was promised.) I only have three semesters left to get my BA and I can't get that where we lived prior. So what do I do? Try and stick it out here or move the kids AGAIN? I have no money, the financial aid promised isn't coming through because some was based on credits that I'm not getting. It's just one thing after another. I'm trying to be optimistic, but am losing hope slowly but surely. We have no money, every tiny bit of savings is gone, rent is due soon, I don't have it. I'm now behind on car payment etc. I'm really beginning to freak out.

Sorry for the sobbing and whinning, but please help!
I made a bad move to NC 2 long years ago, I get such a bad feeling like I don't belong here, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong, I'm so miserable. I don't have any extra money either. I recently got a second job so I can save money to get the hell out of here. You & your husband have to put your heads together and figure out how to cut back, sacrifice, don't go out, stop spending money, get a second job, sell something, whatever it takes. There are things you can do to entertain yourselves for free, go to a park or lake, bring sandwiches, rent movies instead of going out to see one, etc... I have to stay here another wasted year just to save money to move - but I have to do what I have to do - And I will do it, and if your serious about it so can you & your family.

Last edited by sue64; 10-31-2007 at 09:18 AM..
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Old 11-01-2007, 04:10 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,655,884 times
Reputation: 723
I'm sorry, Sue that you are in the same situation. What part of NC are in? And where are you going to go?

We are going to try and stick it out here, it's just very scary because rent and car payment, etc is due today and we don't have either one. That's my biggest concern, I guess. I mean if we can't financially survive and our credit is ruined when we leave, then staying will have long lasting effects. We have decided that we are going to try though. I had a job interview today, not sure yet if I got it or not, but if I didn't, I'll try somewhere else. I really am very optimistic, and know that even with all of our issues we still have it ALOT better than a lot of people out there. I am most grateful that my family is with me. I know together somehow we'll make it. I've taken alot of ya'll words to heart and will look back on this when things seem bleak. One of you suggested cutting out anything that was not a necessity.LOL, we haven't had anything that's not a necessity since we've gotten here. That's why it's taking so long to reply, I go to the library to get online. It's fine though, out motto has become "one thing at a time". I also know that we will be closer as a family and stronger individuals when we leave here.LMAO and I am countuing down the days.

Thanks again everyone!!
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