Should I let finances dictate a move for my family?
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Finances should always be the primary reason for moving somewhere. While it is very difficult to relocate a family to a new area, it sounds like this would be a much better move for you. If you still have family and friends in New York you can always go back to visit.
Being in a rough spot financially in 15 years will be far worse than making a move now. Chicago is a fantastic city with lots to offer. Your kids are young enough to adjust. The best thing for your wife and kids is to get involved in the activities and groups that are of interest to them as soon as possible. Change is never easy,but in this case the end result seems like it would really benefit your family.
I agree with starrynightz. It may feel like the future is a long way off but you will blink and your kids will be asking for cell phones, movie money and the latest clothes. Moving when your kids are young might be emotional for a few weeks, or months at the most. Kids are so resilient and they will base a lot of their reactions on yours. If you present the move as a benefit to your kids they might even get excited about it. Telling them mommy will be able to stay home with them will be a big one. Not to mention you will save on the cost of a nanny.
Your kids are at the perfect age to try someplace new, if even for a couple years. They will make friends quickly in school, through activities, at the park, etc. And as a parent it is easy to strike up conversations with other parents while kids are playing. It should also be quite easy to get acclimated moving from one large city to another. It's not as if you are moving out to the country.
Let me just say, the temporary stress of moving and getting settled will be FAR less than the stress of not being financially secure down the road.
Everything I've heard from friends who have moved to Chicago is raving reviews! As far as the concern for your child in school, they adapt well at such a young age and it may be easier on the child to have him accompany you to check out these schools. Maybe see if he can sit in on the class and you can watch. The same goes for choosing a home. Getting the kids involved will make them feel like it's about them, too, not just a mommy-daddy decision.
I think you are too worried about the kids. They are young and resilient. For everything you leave behind there will be compensations, such as a larger income and time for you wife to do freelancing while staying at home while the kids are younger.
If the kids were in middle school or high school, then a move would be very hard for them. So, while they are young, I'd advise on building your career and making a good family unit. If you present the move as an adventure, and keep that mindset yourself, I think things will be fine.
In general it is best to grab opportunity while it still holds out a hand.
Yes and no. We are all capable of great resilience. But there are two other constants in such moves: 1.) It takes a while for everyone to adjust. In my family's case, it was always around 9-12 months, 2.) Parents worry about their kids, no matter if they 4, or 44!
So, while the kids will adjust, you will be adjusting with them and trying to help them cope. It's an unavoidable pressure of responsible parenthood. In the end, you'll all be fine. However, there will still be some bumps in the road.
For us, the most stressful move was the shortest: from Eastern Washington to suburban Portland. Same job, same company, different place. We had a shy 13-year old guy in our troop. It was really painful for him, but sure enough he made it and picked the same kind of friends he had in Washington. It took a while.
Good luck and Bon Voyage.
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