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Old 06-17-2013, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
6,944 posts, read 3,969,174 times
Reputation: 12828

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You are not liable by any law to take care of your siblings, and it is really unfair of your parents to try to shift this burden to you, imo. This is their responsibility, not yours, and they shouldn't try to burden you down with it.
(If This making you feel that depressed and you would feel almost suicidal (your words) if this all comes to pass like this - Then I honestly,
Personally, think I would run, not walk out of this situation as fast as possible.)
You have your own sanity, mental health and life to worry about - without dealing with all this drama and unnecessary burden)
Life is short and fleeting, get out and get away from all this and don't feel guilty....live your life and be happy. (If I were you I am not sure I would even visit them that often, unless they take steps to not be so emotionally needy and financially dependent on you.
It's time they (your parents, grew up and put on the big boy and girl panties) and worked out their problems without trying to saddle them on one of their own children.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:36 AM
 
5,681 posts, read 8,098,715 times
Reputation: 5944
I'm really shocked by the responses. I was raised to believe you take care of your family. Your siblings being disabled is not their fault, and yes one day you will have to step up and help out with them. Your parents will not be around forever, and then what? Are you just going to abandon your siblings, and let the state care for them? If I were you I would sit my parents down, and make a plan for the future NOW. Chances are after you make a plan for the future you'll feel better, and so will your parents. I'm sure thinking about the future needs of 2 disabled children plus the worry they likely feel for you is making them want to run away too.
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
6,944 posts, read 3,969,174 times
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Yes, Spazkat, I think it's great if someone loves their family and tries to take care of them to some extent, but it seems an impossible situation that they are trying to put the OP in.
And the amount of time and money to do what they are wanting, would depress and overwhelm almost anyone....and he is not the person who are their parents and who brought them into this world. I do think he should probably keep up communications long distance with his siblings...but to support them, that is asking a bit much imo....
and his parents should have thought of this and planned financially for this, if they haven't
it's really unfair and selfish imo, to saddle this person with all that cost and expense - look how depressed and upset he is about it, and I don't blame him. It's not fair.
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
6,944 posts, read 3,969,174 times
Reputation: 12828
I am sure it would cost thousands, yearly, tens of thousand of dollars probably to pay the cost to care for his Siblings....Who could afford that? And still live themselves?
No, financially it's his parents responsibility to make sure they are cared for, not him.
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Old 06-19-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: South Florida
4,791 posts, read 5,329,857 times
Reputation: 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazee Cat Lady View Post
No, financially it's his parents responsibility to make sure they are cared for, not him.

I agree.
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Old 06-19-2013, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Tennessee at last!
1,886 posts, read 2,019,149 times
Reputation: 3790
Definitely not the OP's legal responsibility to financially care for his siblings, but they are in CA and there are tons of programs that they will qualify for that do not require funding from the family. The programs use the SS disability funding that the siblings would qualify for if they are special needs.

The parents need to set up long term care, but the OP could and likely morally should be involved to help get that ball rolling if his parents need the push. Getting the siblings appropriate care would likely have a positive affect on the whole family.
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Old 06-20-2013, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,889,098 times
Reputation: 7740
Yeah, the earlier these conversations are held, the better.

A lot of times the parents just "assume" that the siblings will step in to take care of a disabled child 24/7 after they are gone, and many times, that expectation isn't shared.

As far as the OP, move if you want to move. It's your life and you are entitled to enjoy it.
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