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We're a family of six in Manhattan, kids 6 and under. We really love it here, but the real estate and taxes are not workable for us as the kids get older. We are both well employed in great careers and I make about double her salary. My wife wants to stay home with the kids but we just can't do it here. We've lived in Manhattan for 15 years, but we're native Midwesterners.
Our first-choice destination is Milwaukee for family and cost of living reasons, and has been for a while. I am in the final round for a job in Milwaukee that would pay me about the same as I make here for the same job. We could see ourselves settling there for the next 20 years and putting down roots while the kids go through school.
I recently turned down a very good and lucrative offer in Chicago because we visited there and it just didn't feel right. Last year I turned down a job offer in San Francisco because we never saw SF as a permanent destination and were still holding out hope for a Milwaukee role. We hope to only move one time and do it when the kids are small.
But now the reality is setting in that the job in MKE that would pay me about the same as I make here. It is a lateral move, so it's not really advancing my career, either, but it's putting me in an industry I prefer in a location we prefer as a family. It's also one of only a handful of companies in MKE at which I could continue my current, international-slanted career.
Here is my concern, as I think with my head and not my heart: if I take a job in San Francisco, London or here in NYC, I will get a large raise and a significant promotion. This would make it easier for me to get top-level roles down the road. The Milwaukee job would not push me ahead either financially or professionally. By taking the MKE job instead of, say, a SF job, I am probably giving up between $100k-$150k in total annual compensation (stock+ bonuses + salary).
Is moving to a place we both want more important than making the best career move?
PS--I don't want this to come across that we won't ever be happy if we don't move to MKE--we also love NYC and SF and London and a few other places, and I think we would also be happy if we moved somewhere other than MKE.
We're a family of six in Manhattan, kids 6 and under. We really love it here, but the real estate and taxes are not workable for us as the kids get older. We are both well employed in great careers and I make about double her salary. My wife wants to stay home with the kids but we just can't do it here. We've lived in Manhattan for 15 years, but we're native Midwesterners.
Our first-choice destination is Milwaukee for family and cost of living reasons, and has been for a while. I am in the final round for a job in Milwaukee that would pay me about the same as I make here for the same job. We could see ourselves settling there for the next 20 years and putting down roots while the kids go through school.
I recently turned down a very good and lucrative offer in Chicago because we visited there and it just didn't feel right. Last year I turned down a job offer in San Francisco because we never saw SF as a permanent destination and were still holding out hope for a Milwaukee role. We hope to only move one time and do it when the kids are small.
But now the reality is setting in that the job in MKE that would pay me about the same as I make here. It is a lateral move, so it's not really advancing my career, either, but it's putting me in an industry I prefer in a location we prefer as a family. It's also one of only a handful of companies in MKE at which I could continue my current, international-slanted career.
Here is my concern, as I think with my head and not my heart: if I take a job in San Francisco, London or here in NYC, I will get a large raise and a significant promotion. This would make it easier for me to get top-level roles down the road. The Milwaukee job would not push me ahead either financially or professionally. By taking the MKE job instead of, say, a SF job, I am probably giving up between $100k-$150k in total annual compensation (stock+ bonuses + salary).
Is moving to a place we both want more important than making the best career move?
PS--I don't want this to come across that we won't ever be happy if we don't move to MKE--we also love NYC and SF and London and a few other places, and I think we would also be happy if we moved somewhere other than MKE.
If I were in your situation I would not stop pushing my career as hard as I could for at least another seven or eight years. If you take a lateral move now, you kinda' get the "family man" stamp rather than the "career man" stamp. If you're a family man, maybe that's the right move - but if you're a career man then I think you will be unhappy in a family man pigeonhole.
Is moving to a place we both want more important than making the best career move?
Only you can answer this.
It sounds like you love your career and the fact that the position in MKE would be on the dead end side...yikes.
Have you spent time in MKE lately, where you spent time doing the daily things?
I'm from MKE and left there (18) years ago.
Last spring, I moved back to be near family and within just a few weeks, realized it was a big mistake and left.
(Not that being near family was a big mistake.)
Only you can answer this.
It sounds like you love your career and the fact that the position in MKE would be on the dead end side...yikes.
Have you spent time in MKE lately, where you spent time doing the daily things?
I'm from MKE and left there (18) years ago.
Last spring, I moved back to be near family and within just a few weeks, realized it was a big mistake and left.
(Not that being near family was a big mistake.)
Yeah, I'm nervous about setting expectations too high and then being let down.
My wife is from WI about an hour away, but she hasn't lived there in 20 years (since high school). We have visited MKE multiple times per year for the last 7/8 years, and we were also married there. We generally spend our time at the Pfister, local restaurants/coffee shops, the children's museum, the lakefront parks and the art museum. We would likely live in Shorewood or Whitefish Bay to take advantage of what are reportedly some of the best public schools in the state.
Just to clarify on the job front, I don't think it would be a dead-end job. The new leader of the group wants some outside blood with a more international focus, and that's where I fit in. The pay scale is not what I want, and neither is the title. I am confident it would be a good long-term career once I navigate their corporate culture. And I would be on the shortlist to take over for the boss if he ever moved on (not holding my breath).
That said, if I took a job in any of the other locations mentioned above, my next job move would instantly move my career forward about five years on both financial and management tracks. The MKE job would be staying on the same, slow-and-steady path I'm on now.
I just don't want to move the family--four kids--more than once (or possibly twice), so I'm trying to get this right the first time and evaluate every angle.
I agree with Jasper and always recommend going with your gut.
That being said, as someone who moved away from Milwaukee (I actually grew up in Shorewood) for 18 years... it was triple-whammy culture shock going back and was just too much for me. It's a great place, but there is a time warp to deal with...
Then again, I don't have kids.
How many times a year have you gone back there and how long have you seriously been thinking of moving back?
Not touting Pittsburgh, but why not try looking here. We moved after living on Long Island for 25 years. We love it here, the kids love it and the cost of living is great.
We're a family of six in Manhattan, kids 6 and under. We really love it here, but the real estate and taxes are not workable for us as the kids get older. We are both well employed in great careers and I make about double her salary. My wife wants to stay home with the kids but we just can't do it here. We've lived in Manhattan for 15 years, but we're native Midwesterners.
Our first-choice destination is Milwaukee for family and cost of living reasons, and has been for a while. I am in the final round for a job in Milwaukee that would pay me about the same as I make here for the same job. We could see ourselves settling there for the next 20 years and putting down roots while the kids go through school.
I recently turned down a very good and lucrative offer in Chicago because we visited there and it just didn't feel right. Last year I turned down a job offer in San Francisco because we never saw SF as a permanent destination and were still holding out hope for a Milwaukee role. We hope to only move one time and do it when the kids are small.
But now the reality is setting in that the job in MKE that would pay me about the same as I make here. It is a lateral move, so it's not really advancing my career, either, but it's putting me in an industry I prefer in a location we prefer as a family. It's also one of only a handful of companies in MKE at which I could continue my current, international-slanted career.
Here is my concern, as I think with my head and not my heart: if I take a job in San Francisco, London or here in NYC, I will get a large raise and a significant promotion. This would make it easier for me to get top-level roles down the road. The Milwaukee job would not push me ahead either financially or professionally. By taking the MKE job instead of, say, a SF job, I am probably giving up between $100k-$150k in total annual compensation (stock+ bonuses + salary).
Is moving to a place we both want more important than making the best career move?
PS--I don't want this to come across that we won't ever be happy if we don't move to MKE--we also love NYC and SF and London and a few other places, and I think we would also be happy if we moved somewhere other than MKE.
Is Milwaukee cheaper to live in? If that's the case I would do that.
You've been hoping for a job in Milwaukee, and you got one! Woo hoo!
And now you're second guessing yourself. I can see you and your wife had discussed this long and hard, have done your research, and know you want to live there. You even said you turned down a great job, because you were holding out for a job in Milwaukee.
So, move to Milwaukee, let your wife stay home with the kids and enjoy a happy, peaceful household. You will be so zen that you'll end up flying right up that corporate ladder, right there in Milwaukee :-)
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