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Old 09-06-2013, 02:56 PM
 
49 posts, read 107,913 times
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Wow, that is some great advice everyone...really. You all really said things that have totally hit home with what we are doing, how our minds are going in circles. A lot to think about this weekend.

Of course I should probably mention, that my wife is pregnant with our first child, and it is adding to the madness...we don't know how having a child will change our life, just that it will, so we are playing the game of, will this area be better with a baby, with that area be better....luckily we'd have great insurance both ways. Though here in Maine I'm on a public school schedule with work, and in N. Idaho I would be working a year round with some long hours, 12 hour days/4 days a week. So we're wondering if my wife will go crazy taking care of baby pretty much all day on the 4 days a week I'm working.

That being said, maybe we'll just do what Jasper did, and flip a coin. Right now it seems like a great idea.
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Old 09-06-2013, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,633 posts, read 14,225,540 times
Reputation: 30258
Start the process. Say yes to the job in N. Idaho. Then make a stepwise plan. Just follow the plan, and the move won't seem so overwhelming.
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Old 09-06-2013, 10:34 PM
 
Location: Turlock, CA
239 posts, read 522,975 times
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About the baby part. My husband works very odd hours. Some days he's gone from 7-5, the next could be 11-9ish and then there are the 3-after midnight days. It will be hard, but my SIL finds it hard with my brother working regular 8-5 hours. There is no perfect work schedule when it comes to kids.
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Old 09-07-2013, 06:40 AM
 
5,002 posts, read 4,232,252 times
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Go for it. Whats the absolutely worst thing that could happen?

Some people stay frozen for years and then regret it so much.
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Old 12-03-2013, 06:43 AM
 
11 posts, read 19,954 times
Reputation: 62
There is a well known saying. "Home is Where the Heart is". If your heart is not in ME then I say... Go for the move!
My DH and I overthought our life and left Home=the Midwest 1 1/2 years ago. We thought we would just move to a desirable retirement area now since our daughter is young and would adjust well. Then we would be enjoying retirement lifestyle while still working. I figured with technology (Skype and ect) that it wouldn't seem like we really were gone. We have made some friends here, however our heart is just not in NC. Now we are using our here time to tour the whole area, while planning to go back to the Midwest in 2015.
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Old 12-06-2013, 09:42 PM
 
Location: wi
52 posts, read 79,970 times
Reputation: 49
moving is hard - it's expensive and it involves a lot of lives - family, friends, coworkers, neighbors. I do over think stuff and I put others first. I just moved from WI to OR. I loved my house in WI and had good friends there, but it wasn't me at all. The things I like to do, make me laugh, etc just weren't there. I was frustrated and bored. So, now I'm here. It's a perfect fit, but I keep thinking of going back. I sometimes secretly hope my house doesn't sell so I have it to go back to. Weird, right? For me, it's the memories of raising my family in the house, although I know things change and kids grow up. The days on training wheels are long gone. For those wanting to move, I suggest trying it out. If you're anything like me, you'll be spending too much time on google looking at places you want to be instead of actually being there, which is sad. Life is too short. My experiences in OR are amazing and if I had stayed in one place, no matter how comfortable, I don't think I would've been fair to myself. Life is made of experiences. As a society, our conversations evolve around "what did you do this weekend?" Now that I'm here, I can answer that with the excitement of experiencing something new. It's scarey, it can make others sad, but I'm seeing that living and exploring and just growing as a person makes life, for me anyway, a lot richer. Good luck to anyone on the fence. I've been on it, over it and sometimes back behind it. But looking ahead, at the big picture and life in the future, for me, jumping off and enjoying all that's new on the other side is the best option.
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Old 12-07-2013, 03:31 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,286 posts, read 10,277,475 times
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I know the original post is 3 months old (baby yet?) but I wouldn't let a coin determine my fate. You may be afraid to take the plunge because you've moved so often with not-to-happy results. Don't let fear make your decision any more than a coin. From what you've said, moving will be the right thing. Maybe not the easy thing but you've got to live where you belong. It's not where you are.
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Old 12-13-2013, 07:52 PM
 
Location: In the woods
3,315 posts, read 8,779,126 times
Reputation: 1510
Go with your gut feeling. Deep down inside, you know what you want to do. It's scary but change is always scary.

We can come up with all kinds of reasons to stay or leave, come and go, etc. But listen to your heart.

Better to be somewhere with renewed enthusiasm and a fresh start than a place you can't stand. Trust me, it won't get better but worse.
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Old 12-14-2013, 01:22 PM
 
12,996 posts, read 15,335,124 times
Reputation: 15199
Just go. You are both on the same page, so do it. Although I love where I live, I would love to be somewhere warmer. If I don't like I, I can always come back here. But my husband feels like he needs to stay here because of family. If he were on the same page as me, I'd have gone a long time ago.

What do you have to lose? You don't mention kids, so I am guessing you don't have kids yet. That's the perfect time! Once you have kids you have to worry about uprooting them/changing schools.
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