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Old 10-15-2013, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,995 posts, read 21,639,193 times
Reputation: 22102

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
When we were younger with both kids at home, we worked different shifts to avoid having caretakers for the kids so you might need to consider that. It really worked out fine and both kids did great with this and are now adults. One income is tough just about anywhere. I thought the suggestion to consider taking in a couple of kids to babysit was a good one. Without extra money in the household, most places will all seem the same since the money for entertainment and recreation won't be there.
We did the same thing when the kids were younger. I worked nights and hubby worked days. It was tough, but worth it. I got to spend days with the kids and enjoy them!

 
Old 10-15-2013, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Crowley, Louisiana
32 posts, read 30,187 times
Reputation: 19
I've heard Houston is better b/c it is cheaper. For transportation maybe you should call a cab if you can afford one. What does your husband do for a living? How old are your children?
 
Old 10-15-2013, 12:14 PM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,840,328 times
Reputation: 3121
Pinkmint, I can empathize with your post. We lived in Portland, OR many years ago in our 20's. Loved the area and were very active with outdoor things. Unfortunately, the Army took us away so our stint there was only 3 years. Not sure if I could deal with the weather at this point in our lives 30 years later. I like warmer climates and like your family, we moved to Dallas just this past summer.

Every area has its pros and cons. For us, our move was to better the situation for our family. We had to move out of the NE area. My husband was being ground down by the NYC commute, my daughter was desperately unhappy in school, and we just wanted a change of pace. He left a very stable, lucrative job and we moved out here to Dallas.

At times, I do miss our old home. Certainly our friends. Yesterday, I was lamenting the distinct lack of that fall feeling. Driving around, not too many folks had the Halloween decorations up. I miss the pumpkin picking, hayrides and general feeling of fall. On the other hand, our family was pretty unhappy where we were and we really needed to make a relocation. And I'm enjoying the warmer weather as the fall months are coming. Plus our last two years in NJ, we had Sandy and Irene....

A few suggestions.

-If your spouse works in Dallas, take the DART if possible. That is what my spouse does. It is a 10 min drive to the DART station and an easy ride into work. He has a 10 minute walk from the DART stop to his office building. For comparison, in NJ we were spending $550 ish/month for transportation (train and subway) plus $375 in parking. Here, it is the cost of a monthly DART ticket....$81 I think. Significant savings and you don't burn up gas.

-Apartment living versus house with associated costs. I see a number of charming older houses were we live and are within walking distance of the schools and shopping. Not sure what the price of housing is in Portland but compared to NJ, it is significantly lower here. We are currently renting a behemoth of a house which is way too big for us. It is 4100 sf, horribly insulated and neglected and equipped with original air conditioning. Our first electric bill was in the height of summer and was $460 which was less than what we paid in NJ for our house (with pool) but still a bit high for my tastes. One of my kids set the upstairs thermostat to 68 or so and unbeknownst to me, it was running for quite some time....couldn't figure out why the darned house was so frigid and didn't check the upstairs....duh. Our next month's bill was in the 300's. Our neighbors have done some energy efficient things and their bills for their house are $250 or so. I'm sure that you can do some cost cutting things in terms of energy.

-Schools. Think about enrolling your kiddos in school. We can't be more happy with the Plano schools. Both my kids are thriving and the services for kids that are having troubles are outstanding. My son is getting extra help after school in reading. My daughter has gone from C and Ds to making honor roll. She is happy and excited to be here. For my kids, this has been a super move. Perhaps you could get some part time work while they are in school. Or volunteer if you feel a bit isolated.

I think that you need to give an area time. Yes, I can be a bit lonely here leaving some really good friends behind. You are always asking yourself....Did I make the right decision. On the other hand, if Texas and your family still isn't clicking after a year, perhaps consider other options. Personally, I wouldn't touch California with a ten foot pole but that is just me. Not sure about other areas and cost of living and how significantly cheaper they would be. For some people, a location just never clicks. One of my Army buddies has lived in Plano for 17 years and she absolutely hates it. She desperately wants to move back to New York where she is from. On the other hand, many of the people I talk with absolutely love it here. Where we live, it is all about families and kids. Tons of sports fields, activities. Our neighborhood is incredibly active with family stuff. It is wonderful compared to what we left. But again, if a place isn't clicking with you after a few years, consider something else. Life is too short to be miserable.

Sorry to ramble a bit and I've been in your shoes and your comments hit close to home.

Last edited by Siggy20; 10-15-2013 at 12:35 PM..
 
Old 10-15-2013, 12:27 PM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,608,301 times
Reputation: 41111
OP, it sounds to me like you are all about what you "want" versus what you "need". Unfortunately, you should have thought about all that before you started having kids.

Now it should be all about them.

BTW, If you had truly done any research at all you would have seen that Dallas is one of the most expensive cities to live in in the south, even if it is in Texas. You would have been better off somewhere else in the state.

That you are even considering California tells me you are scarily naive.
 
Old 10-15-2013, 12:37 PM
 
32 posts, read 49,649 times
Reputation: 45
Moderators, is there a way to delete this thread? There are some real a-holes on here, and it's not helping anything that I wanted help with. TIA
 
Old 10-15-2013, 12:46 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,324,540 times
Reputation: 1316
Quote:
Anyway, we moved to Texas, hoping for better opportunities for our family, and not really having that much to lose anyway. We knew that Texas consistently has a better than average job economy (particularly for the job hubby does), lower cost of living and definitely lots of sun, even if it gets to be too much in the summer. The reality we've found here is that things are pretty much just as difficult in different ways and I just don't know if it's worth it to keep pressing forward here, trying to make it work. Granted we may not have a choice since it's not like we have the means and resources to just up and move wherever we want, but I am just wondering about options.
I relocated to Texas for the same reasons and my year there was a nightmare. Texas never once felt like home. I was scammed too many times to count in my job searches (worse than my experiences in NV & CA). When I was laid off, I RAN out of that hellhole of a state. Trust your intuition. And my sincerest apologies if you're in Houston or Dallas. Awful, disgusting, redneck, cigarette-filled, hellholes.
 
Old 10-15-2013, 12:52 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,067 posts, read 8,325,737 times
Reputation: 11540
Why are people jerks? Just because you might be hearing some things you don't want to hear. I think there is a lot of really good advice here.
 
Old 10-15-2013, 12:59 PM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,840,328 times
Reputation: 3121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
I relocated to Texas for the same reasons and my year there was a nightmare. Texas never once felt like home. I was scammed too many times to count in my job searches (worse than my experiences in NV & CA). When I was laid off, I RAN out of that hellhole of a state. Trust your intuition. And my sincerest apologies if you're in Houston or Dallas. Awful, disgusting, redneck, cigarette-filled, hellholes.
Ouch!!! Where did you end up after you left Texas?

((Scurries off to hide my carton of cigs and turn down my hillbilly music ))
 
Old 10-15-2013, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,695 posts, read 4,075,093 times
Reputation: 6220
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkmint View Post
Moderators, is there a way to delete this thread? There are some real a-holes on here, and it's not helping anything that I wanted help with. TIA
Oh, honey, don't get mad. I think people think they're helping...if they're not, ignore them.

It IS a surprise when you get that first AC bill in the dead of summer and you're thinking...what in the world have I done??? I know a lot of people say Texas is lower cost of living but I've found there are trade-offs everywhere. Moving here can still be a good idea and a good place for you and your family, but lets break it down.

I know you probably don't want to tell me where you live but if you could give me a rough idea, I might be able to suggest ideas for you as I know what you're going through...in a weird sort of way. I don't have any children...its just me and my husband...but I understand your basic, underlying feeling of "did we do the right thing?"

I currently think I want to relocate...but every thread I read, every article I read, every job I apply for, I ask myself, is this better in the long run? We've struggled over the years and haven't always had what we wanted...sometimes it was hard just getting what we needed. So, as I weigh my options, I wonder if Texas (Dallas) is going to work for me. I do sort of romanticize my home city (Seattle) but moving there scares the bejeesus out of me...just read a thread on water/sewer bills and I think, is that better or worse than the summer electric bills in Texas???

My dad used to tell me this tidbit...maybe it'll help. I moved to Texas when I was 14, away from my mom and Seattle and terrified for doing so but knowing it would save me, too. For a long time, even now a bit, I thought I wanted to move back. I always seemed to be at odds, not really knowing where I should be. He said "wherever you go, you will bring your same concerns and crazies with you... unless you learn to solve them where you are". I know you probably understand this, as I know I do all too well.

Only living here for 10 months is really not long enough to know if you made a mistake but long enough to know some things aren't working. I agree with many others to look for similar people who share your love of homeschooling...to find other interests that actually end up helping you. Just having someone to call in the afternoon for a breather from the children may help your sanity.

I can help suggest better apartments that are reasonably priced if you can indicate the general area you're looking at...being closer to your husband's work is key but I've lived here a really long time and can probably suggest a couple of ideas you may not have thought of. Also, when this mugginess wears off (hopefully this week), you'll start loving the outdoors. On your weekends with your hubby, you and the fam can take off for a couple of hours and rejuvenate. Have you been to east Texas? Or Turner Falls in OK? How about the Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose? These are all just 2 or less hours away and can renew your faith that Texas might just be OK...I promise.

I was drawn to this thread because I have the same doubts about relocating...the only difference is that I don't have the nerve yet to go because I'd be leaving everything familiar for a higher cost of living and a bunch of other worries that I just don't have here. So, OP, if you'll bear it out, maybe give us some more details...there are ways to make this place work and maybe we (I) can help!
 
Old 10-15-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,695 posts, read 4,075,093 times
Reputation: 6220
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
I relocated to Texas for the same reasons and my year there was a nightmare. Texas never once felt like home. I was scammed too many times to count in my job searches (worse than my experiences in NV & CA). When I was laid off, I RAN out of that hellhole of a state. Trust your intuition. And my sincerest apologies if you're in Houston or Dallas. Awful, disgusting, redneck, cigarette-filled, hellholes.
I mostly respect your opinion, but WOW...that's harsh. Why was your year a nightmare? Did it have anything to do with YOU? I mean, so much of it is about your attitude. I'm not going to lie and tell you that certain circumstances won't color your view...if you got mugged or dealt with rude people all the time, I can't discount that. But seriously, how much was your stinky attitude? How much was stinky Dallas? Having details will help...
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