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Old 01-23-2014, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Over here
281 posts, read 535,599 times
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I have read a lot of opinions about just selling or donating non-personal items instead of paying to haul it all across the country. I don't know if anyone else feels this way...but we are such a materialistic society, and sometimes the thought of getting rid of everything that won't fit in my car makes me feel less "accomplished". Is this weird? I mean the last time everything I owned fit into my car I was 22 years old and in college. It seems like as we get older and get better paying jobs, grow up, etc. that we accumulate so much stuff and it's kind of like a security blanket of sorts.

I know financially and realistically it's better to get rid of non-personal items other than maybe a few boxes of essential small things, utensils, dishes, clothes...but emotionally it's bothering me to plan on doing it!

Has anyone else gone through this??? You'd think it would be fun to be forced to go shopping for new furniture on the other end...but it also sounds kind of daunting when I look at the number of boxes I have of stuff (based on other local moves). It's amazing how much we can accumulate...decor, wall hangings, candles, all the cutesy stuff you put above the cabinets in a kitchen. How do I get over this stupid attached feeling to all my stuff?
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Old 01-23-2014, 03:48 PM
 
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I've moved across the country twice. Everything I owned was in the trunk of my car. Both times, I recovered very nicely. I would do it again, easily.
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Old 01-23-2014, 04:53 PM
 
8,995 posts, read 9,415,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXred View Post
I have read a lot of opinions about just selling or donating non-personal items instead of paying to haul it all across the country. I don't know if anyone else feels this way...but we are such a materialistic society, and sometimes the thought of getting rid of everything that won't fit in my car makes me feel less "accomplished". Is this weird? I mean the last time everything I owned fit into my car I was 22 years old and in college. It seems like as we get older and get better paying jobs, grow up, etc. that we accumulate so much stuff and it's kind of like a security blanket of sorts.

I know financially and realistically it's better to get rid of non-personal items other than maybe a few boxes of essential small things, utensils, dishes, clothes...but emotionally it's bothering me to plan on doing it!

Has anyone else gone through this??? You'd think it would be fun to be forced to go shopping for new furniture on the other end...but it also sounds kind of daunting when I look at the number of boxes I have of stuff (based on other local moves). It's amazing how much we can accumulate...decor, wall hangings, candles, all the cutesy stuff you put above the cabinets in a kitchen. How do I get over this stupid attached feeling to all my stuff?
I did it. Took only what would fit in my Beetle and shipped 13 boxes UPS. Took only clothes and some personal stuff. It is nice to have so little. When I got to my new place, the first thing I bought was an inflatable bed.

It is a lot of work to go shopping for everything you need, though. But, I'd still do it again.
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Old 01-23-2014, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,040 posts, read 5,934,403 times
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I shed a lot, as well.

Before I started moving things out (sale, charity, etc) I brain-stormed a little about where I was currently in terms of:

- hobbies
- taste in home decor
- career
- realistic future plans
- use and cost of replacement

With those ideas in mind, it was much easier to decide what to keep and what to move.

Here's one example: I had a bunch of folding cages because I was going to get chickens at one point and the cages were a good deal at an estate sale.

Upon further evaluation, there was no good reason to move those cages to Iowa, so I donated them to a rescue. If I need them again, Iowa has plenty of farm stores.

On the other hand, I like riding my bike for exercise and it was worth moving both of them because I can't replace either at current costs and I use both throughout the warmer weather.

I also dumped a bunch of sheets and towels because they were over 20 years old and awful colors.

YMMV but if you are honest with yourself, there are probably a lot of things that you are holding onto that are "dreams" as in "I'll make this X when I have more time," or "I'll use Y when I have more kids" (or whatever). Chances are, if it were important, you would be using it now (or in season, like the bike example.)

I'm very glad to be on the other side of my sort and move. There were days that I felt very overwhelmed. I got rid of about 30 years worth of stuff. I have to re-purchase several items that really should have moved, but overall, I'm pleased with the purge and will take steps not to accumulate that volume again, like smaller, seasonal and yearly sorting sessions.

Good luck with your sort!
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Old 01-23-2014, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Over here
281 posts, read 535,599 times
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Thanks everyone! In reality I am realizing a lot of the items I have kept over the years are here just because I have room for them. I have boxed and taken them with me through a divorce and a couple local moves because it was easy. But when I really think about what I need to take across the country...a lot of stuff will lose out.

I'm curious how much boxes would cost to ship UPS? Actually, I'm thinking that may be a good idea for things I don't need right away, but that don't fit in the car and I can have a friend ship them once I get a place to live that's not with family.

And it's true too that décor changes over time...mine may be outdated? Who knows...it will be fun shopping for new stuff though. That's another thing I realized..If I move everything with me, I need to pay for it immediately from savings. If I get rid of then slowly replace it when I move, I can pay for it over time and after I have a job and can update my décor as well.

I need to start posting some stuff to CL. Thanks!
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Old 01-23-2014, 07:57 PM
Status: "On The Lookout" (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,358 posts, read 61,566,588 times
Reputation: 31875
Quote:
Originally Posted by TXred View Post
...the thought of getting rid of everything that won't fit in my car makes me feel less "accomplished".

Is this weird? I mean the last time everything I owned fit into my car I was 22 years old
and in college. It seems like as we get older and get better paying jobs, grow up, etc.
that we accumulate so much stuff and it's kind of like a security blanket of sorts.

How do I get over this stupid attached feeling to all my stuff?
Try to limit your accumulating to the nicer/better things.
Things that might be worth shipping cross-country the next time you move.
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Old 01-23-2014, 09:02 PM
 
6,432 posts, read 3,030,990 times
Reputation: 5818
We bought our retirement home and then lived there a year to help my father get through medical treatment before we were able to clear out and sell our old home.

It was an amazingly wonderful thing to live a relatively zen lifestyle with all new only bare minimum of things we needed in the new house. To the point where my mom/sis would show up with offerings of things they thought I might need and it would irrationally tick me off that they were bringing all this "stuff" into my new calm/uncluttered space lol.

When we came back to clear out sell the old house, I was and continue to be ruthless about getting rid of things. Unless its a family heirloom, something I treasure or something that I actually need and will look good in the new house its not going with us.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:29 PM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,453 posts, read 11,317,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post
I was and continue to be ruthless about getting rid of things. Unless its a family heirloom
The heirloom comment made me think you might enjoy this article called The Tyranny of the Heirloom:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/26/ga...anted=all&_r=0
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Old 01-23-2014, 11:10 PM
 
6,432 posts, read 3,030,990 times
Reputation: 5818
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
The heirloom comment made me think you might enjoy this article called The Tyranny of the Heirloom:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/26/ga...anted=all&_r=0

Too funny and vey true in some cases lol.

Still if the therapist who counsels others how to let go of their heirlooms cant let go of his, I'm guessing moving it is cheaper than therapy!!

I actually did let go of a couple things that were "foisted" on me by well meaning relatives.

And, I am a little worried when my father sees the paint splatter and minor damage on his fathers desk lol. But, Im taking it and planning to refinish it so we'll see. Dragging back the chair that goes with it even though I didn't want it but he insisted I had to take it if I wanted the desk.

The biggest problem is I cant find the handmade quilt my mother asked about. I have an awful feeling my husband used it as a drop cloth while I was at work and he was painting. Unless, its in one of the boxes he packed without my supervision. Maybe she'll forget about it.

All in all most of my heirlooms are things I asked for and still enjoy. Hopefully, they fit into the spaces I have picked out for them. If not, I will guilt my sister into taking them lol.

Thanks for sharing.
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Old 01-23-2014, 11:53 PM
 
Location: a little bit of everywhere
87 posts, read 114,862 times
Reputation: 251
I've done this type of move a few times....now I live in an RV full time. But--my general rule of thumb for the shipping boxes (I would fly the family and whatever when in suitcases when we moved..would sell the car and then buy one on the other end) was this:

Everything shipped via USPS. If the item would cost more to ship than it was worth, it didn't ship. This cut down on boxes a lot! So--tupperware containers, lamps, coffee table books, old hopeful-clothes--you know the ones you hope will fit again, or you might fix, or whatever, blankets, etc...those all got donated. Now, the blankets we have would be worth shipping, the clothes we currently own would be worth shipping. My three pairs of shoes would be worth shipping. Slowly but surely, as you replace items, you give more thought to quality. As you reduce, it becomes almost addictive, and you might find yourself listing crazy things on craigslist, or finally just giving up and donating the stuff, or really giving up and throwing it in the trash just to get it out of there.

It helps you to figure out the things you really love--and I mean really, really, really love. Like, every time you see that funny African figurine you smile...keep that one. Get a scanner and scan off any paper thingers that you have kept all these years--old cards or letters or the recipes or that kind of thing. It's amazing how much space all that crap takes up. I think I scanned about 10 boxes of randomness, including every photo I had. poof! So nice to pitch it all. I even scanned a couple of pages out of my high school yearbooks and threw them out. I can't tell you how many times I moved those suckers around. Why?
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