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Old 01-27-2014, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
1,427 posts, read 2,570,244 times
Reputation: 2536

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I know lots of folks do these staged moves where one spouse has to get to the new city to start work, and the other spouse follows. In most of those cases, the first one to move is in a cheap rental with his clothes and the second move is the big one, when all the household goods make the move. We're doing it differently, with the big move happening first. We're doing it this way because I'm the one better equipped to handle/deal with a move, and I have the time to do it now. In 6-10 months when hubby joins me, I may not have much time (not much PTO yet) to help with the second move. Which leaves me with this: what do we leave here for him?

I was hoping to avoid a truck entirely for the second move, and make it so he can just drive his small SUV when he moves. He could also ship some things UPS or Greyhound or Amtrak. The bed I'm leaving can be donated, and we have a couple little IKEA dressers he can use that can also be donated. The desks he uses in the office will be given to his son, and the two living room chairs I'm leaving can be sold on CL. But what about the little stuff? I thought about taking pretty much everything when it comes to dishes, good towels, good sheets, etc., and maybe picking up some stuff for him at the thrift store that he could then re-donate when the time comes. But I also don't want him to feel like he has *nothing* for those months.

Any thoughts?
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:21 PM
 
13,237 posts, read 17,776,004 times
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Dishes for two, can opener, cork screw, glasses, good pan, cheap pot, spices, box of assorted groceries, good towels and sheets, tv, floor lamp, some of your perfume , ...
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:47 PM
 
Location: new york
24 posts, read 26,196 times
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My husband has thought of doing the same. Him going on ahead while I stay and sell the house. I've started thinning out closets and decided that to leave myself with very little. Packing up everything. Now I thought well... what do I really need. 2 towels,2 plates(or how about paper) 2 glasses, maybe a coffee cup. Maybe plastic silverware. He can still wash them. Sit down and discuss it with your husband to see how he feels about you cleaning out the house. Or what does he want to stay that can fit in his SUV for the trip.

If you were the one staying behind what would you want left with you? Good luck
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Old 01-28-2014, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Port Charlotte
3,926 posts, read 4,778,222 times
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Jar of peanut butter, bread....LOL.

Seriously, together go through and pick what he thinks he will need....then do it again. Dishes? Go get paper plates and plastic silverware. Cooking? He will end up eating out more, reheating left-overs in the microwave. A change of sheets, towels. I assume he will either use the. Local laundromat or laundry so no need for washer/dryer.
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Old 01-28-2014, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
1,427 posts, read 2,570,244 times
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Thanks, all. I think the hard part is we don't know how long he'll have to stay behind. It could be 60 days, it could be 10 months. It all depends on when his employer lets him go 100% remote. We won't mind having the house on the market empty -- when he gets the OK from his employer, he'll come on out and join me.

As for laundry, we're not moving the washer and dryer. They're older, and we'll try to sell them with the house, or just Craigslist them when the time comes. We'll most likely need stacking or at least front-loading at the new location, so we're just going to buy new to suit whatever house we eventually buy.

The real estate photos were taken this morning, so now I can begin packing in earnest. Hubby and I will work together to think through what he'll be needing/wanting.
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Old 01-29-2014, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,868 posts, read 14,371,350 times
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When we moved to an apartment, before we found our house in a new city, we brought some things, and I mailed some things ahead to a family member for us.

We didn't do a lot to the apartment, except for renting furniture, but I found that I wanted the place to feel somewhat like home. Being in a house with no comforts for 6-10 months sounds pretty bleak to me. I'd make sure he has a nice place to sit and eat meals, a comfy chair to watch TV in or read, and a desk or other workspace. If the bed is that old, make sure it is comfortable, even if you have to buy a new mattress. He needs clothing storage and a chair for the bedroom, and something by the bed for lamp, alarm, personal electronics.

If he cooks then he needs decent cookware, but this is not as urgent a need if he really doesn't cook much. A small set of dinnerware that is easy to keep clean and some flatware would round out needs in the kitchen.

Imagine coming home every day to a bare house all by yourself. What would he want in that circumstance? Certainly a decent TV, but possibly other comforts as well.
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Old 01-29-2014, 07:24 AM
 
Location: On the brink of WWIII
21,093 posts, read 23,907,294 times
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I left everything behind and bought new / used when I got to the new place. She was able to sell most in a yard sale the week before she moved cross country.
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Old 01-29-2014, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
1,427 posts, read 2,570,244 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post

. . . Being in a house with no comforts for 6-10 months sounds pretty bleak to me. I'd make sure he has a nice place to sit and eat meals, a comfy chair to watch TV in or read, and a desk or other workspace. If the bed is that old, make sure it is comfortable, even if you have to buy a new mattress. He needs clothing storage and a chair for the bedroom, and something by the bed for lamp, alarm, personal electronics.

. . . Imagine coming home every day to a bare house all by yourself. What would he want in that circumstance? Certainly a decent TV, but possibly other comforts as well.
I agree. I want to make sure he's comfortable and that he doesn't feel like he's camping. The bed actually hasn't been used much. It was in the guest room at my mom's house and saw very light use. He'll have a nightstand in the bedroom and the little Ikea dressers. We're going to set up the office as an office/living room so he has his computer in here, a comfortable chair and the TV. He'll just eat at a TV tray in here.

The thing is, he isn't going to want to have to deal with any of the stuff when it's time for him to move. He's not going to want to move it, nor is he going to want to bother with Craigslist, meeting people, etc. It's pretty much going to be a call to a charity to pick it all up. Simple, simple, simple. It needs to be simple.
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Old 01-30-2014, 09:56 PM
 
Location: new york
24 posts, read 26,196 times
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Well then if he doesn't mind it being bare ...have it simple. Leave him with what is important to him. I explained your situation to my husband and his reply was....TV, chair,air mattress, and maybe a table. He says he will only take what will fit in his truck. My husband doesn't want to have to deal with selling anything. So simple it will be if this ever happens to us.

Last edited by susie0808; 01-30-2014 at 10:01 PM.. Reason: adding more
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Old 02-02-2014, 07:45 AM
 
3,492 posts, read 4,955,637 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jakabedy View Post
Thanks, all. I think the hard part is we don't know how long he'll have to stay behind. It could be 60 days, it could be 10 months. It all depends on when his employer lets him go 100% remote. We won't mind having the house on the market empty -- when he gets the OK from his employer, he'll come on out and join me.
There is a huge life impact to allow an employer to dictate. I wish the best in this.
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