Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People associate it as being a character flaw because they couldn't do it, be that independent. We started moving every 2 to 3 years about 30 years ago, slowed down when a house wouldn't sell but getting ready to go yet again. It was really good for the kids in learning coping skills and learning about diversity. Too many people fear getting outside their little circle and probably deep down envy you. Have fun! So little time and so many great places!
Look at it this way you get to see the world and meet new friends along the way. There is nothing wrong with wanting to move every few years. You answer to no one but, yourself. Go for it if you don't you will always wonder . I have moved around some myself and in the process of doing it again.
People associate it as being a character flaw because they couldn't do it, be that independent. We started moving every 2 to 3 years about 30 years ago, slowed down when a house wouldn't sell but getting ready to go yet again. It was really good for the kids in learning coping skills and learning about diversity. Too many people fear getting outside their little circle and probably deep down envy you. Have fun! So little time and so many great places!
wow, now that's beyond my realm of imagination lol. every 2-3 years for 30 years?
I'm just wondering though, do you guys move for similar reasons I do? Like feeling like after a couple years things become stagnant and the place just starts grating your nerves? Or maybe...it's not bad, but you just want to experience something different/new way of life, etc. Or is it due to work moving you around?
I also feel that after moving to some cities, I start feeling like I've overstayed my welcome Mainly in places that have a heavy majority of one, and small minorities of another. Where I live at now, I really stand out for the most part...and I don't even look like the type of person who'd stick around for a long time. I'm usually the only person of color in every store, restaurant, and group activity I've attended. People who say it's just me...don't understand the cards I'm being dealt!
Move only if it can make you grow.
Don't always believe the grass is greener on the other side. And also, the older you are the more difficult it can become to establish yourself, but you also learn from experiences. Failure is always guarenteed in a completely new environment.
Move only if it can make you grow.
Don't always believe the grass is greener on the other side. And also, the older you are the more difficult it can become to establish yourself, but you also learn from experiences. Failure is always guarenteed in a completely new environment.
But the thing is, I'm NOT growing where I am now. There's no ability to do it. I'm failing right where I am now. My cleaning/organizing business has gone downhill. The dating options are awful, because the ones I've come across, all want the same type of person: namely the type of people who do outdoorsy things in summer and ski in the winter. I've tried everything I could to get it better, and it's not working. I've made the money and success in the past, but it's not here anymore. I've done meetup groups, I've changed friends, I've gone out alone, I've gone out in groups. Sometimes I'll produce a temporary relief from it, but it's short-lived: Temporary boyfriends, temporary work assignments, temporary peace of mind.
I'm not saying every place ends up being like the above, but where I am at now; I rather go to a place that actually has some grass, even it's brown...because I can make it grow. There's nothing but weeds in Colorado
Are you a liberal or conservative? This is an important question because I personally believe these two interests of demographics not mesh well together. As a result of this, your move would either make you or break you.
I'm a liberal and I made the mistake of moving to Florida a decade ago.
Even if you have all the confidence in the world in a liberal environment, everything would turn upside down in a conservative environment and vise versa.
I believe conservatives have a hard time adjusting to a liberal environment considering how outspoken we are.
If you keep hearing how New Yorkers are rude, it only means this opinion is coming from a conservative viewpoint.
From my own experiences, I personally believe liberal states are more friendlier than conservative states.
But I bet you knew that already........ duh!
Are you a liberal or conservative? I'm a liberal and I made the mistake of moving to Florida a decade ago.
Even if you have all the confidence in the world in a liberal environment, everything would turn upside down in a conservative environment and vise versa.
Ugh...that's a tricky one. See, it's hard for me to really go by the 'political' definition of liberal and conservative. I personally would lean on the side of liberal. But, there are some 'liberal' states that have conservative lifestyles/views of things. Apparently the state I live in now, is liberal. But the issue is, it's surrounded by a bunch of conservative states. In fact, it borders 2 of the most conservative states. There's a lot of other influence. I've also had someone tell me that the state I live in is in fact too conservative, despite the fact that it identifies as liberal.
I lived in Florida, but you may have lived in a different area than I did. If you were north or in the boonies...then yes, it's deffo conservative. But in the main cities, not as much. Florida is closer to a 50/50 state.
I been doing it for over 20 years now, but moving all over the world. Have not lived in one place more than two years, except one place for five years when in the Navy, but even then I was deployed over half of that time and not there.
However, I am here in Miami going on almost four years, I just enjoy the heck out of the city.
Other than attending college in Massachusetts, I lived on Long Island, Manhattan Queens, and the Bronx all of my life.
Four years ago, we decided to move to a particular area of PA. We stayed for three years. We felt that it wasn't a good fit and moved further west.
We are happy where we are living and we love the low cost of living, beautiful older housing stock, and conveniences that we missed in NY.
We bought our home and have no plans to move every few years. However, we would not rule out moving if, in a few years we have not established firm roots in the area.
I do not think that moving is the result of failure. Quite the opposite. I think that staying in the place in which you were raised out of guilt, sentimentality, fear, pressure from friends or relatives or excuses in general, is a failure.
There were friends, family, and people on City Data who questioned my moves. Called us "malcontents" , "gypsies" and far worse.
Someone on City Data gleefully predicted that we would be moving again in a few years.
Another City Data person asked "how could you do this to teenagers? Uproot them again?"
How could we? We are parents. We thought this was best for our family. Including our children.
It has been. We like their friends in this area. Our daughter in on the high honor roll. Our son is on the Dean's List. They are both happy.
When I was in my 20s and first married, I WISH we had thought of this.
At our age, with dogs, cats, kids, college and a mortgage; it gets more difficult.
If you can? Go for it! Moving has been educational and enlightening. We have met interesting people and learned more about our country.
Where I was born and raised is not the "center of the Universe", and the way things are done there are not the gold standard of American life.
I may have posted this wrongly in another section, and just got visually assaulted and battered by another member. I hope people aren't like that around here. The whole, "you won't be happy anywhere, just kill yourself" mentality
Anyhow...I don't see what's the issue. Basically, in a nutshell...I just find that after living in a city for awhile, usually after 1-2 years, things just stop working for me. I've never lived in NYC, or California though. The cities I live, are cities that in other states I hear people tell me, "ugh, I'd never move there. Too hot, too humid, too cold, too snowy, etc" So clearly there IS NO perfect city. But, it's nothing in particular I'm doing or not doing...but it almost seems that it just naturally happens after awhile. I'll admit I'm in the under 30s category, single and no kids. I spent the 1st 20 years of my life living in one state. I didn't have this 'urge' to leave because that's all I knew. Any talks of moving were frightening to me. When my X would talk to me about moving, I could never see myself leaving my home state.
Now some 10 years later, I finally understood everything my X was going thru at the time...and I feel so bad for making it seem like HE had an issue. He eventually moved on, and we've long lost contact.
When I say things 'stop working', it's everything from motivation to meeting people to work-related. I don't want to go into the long details of exactly what it is, but it's hard to explain. It's just the fact of there seems to eventually end up being the same old people, same old options, same old bars (and Lord, I'm so sick of the 2 or 3 bars my friends attend faithfully EVERY SINGLE WEEK), same everything. It's like dude, how do you not get tired of this same routine every week? I'm only sane because I travel as often as I can...but coming home afterwards, I just get frustrated all over again after a few days.
Is there anyone who have jobs/lifestyles that allow them to make these type of transitions? Also, why do people associate wanting to relocate often as some sort of character flaw?
Fun thread, it makes me think of this classic song
There's a couple things that enable this capability some others have mentioned.
1) Having a set of skills / talents that are mobile across industries so one can have gainful employment. Or be an entrepreneur who can take your skill set and set up shop anywhere.
2) A willingness to live a Spartan lifestyle away from the consumption driven mindset without regard for others perceptions. Frequent moving is good in that it tends to keep material possessions in proper perspective
3) Strong sense of self
4) Underlying philosophy of you 'writing your own movie script' for later life reflections
Many who deride your 'lifestyle' are probably envious in a way, as others aptly said. There's a certain breadth of experience that one can sense lends someone confidence to take on whatever comes their way, and its fun to encounter this in wise people I've met at different times in my life. Many people immediately adapt to a comfort level of what they know and end up living in same area or growing a network of close family that may restrict their ability to move.
In a part time job long ago there was an older woman who was a great encouragement and interesting character. She'd engage all manner of coworkers and customers (this was a retail environment) with encouragement to pursue dreams. One which I particularly remember reminds me of your comment.
A late 20-ish women came in who had talked of desire of living in Denver without knowing anyone there and ever having been there. She was a mixed minority (looked Asian / Latino / Philippine) and I sensed when she would stop in the store part of her desire was to find someplace she felt a natural affinity to and continue along the buffet table of life. She subsequently moved there.
Some people are very attached to family and tribal rituals more than others, when they encounter the more itinerant amongst the specie they tend to look only through their focus of comfort and at times may show disdain for your viewpoint - that's life. Others find the release in travel. I enjoy the comfort of having family near but the ability to travel and add to the 'film reel' of life.
Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation, they die with their song still buried within their soul". You sound more adventurous - God Speed onto your next 'home'!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Mainly in places that have a heavy majority of one, and small minorities of another. Where I live at now, I really stand out for the most part...and I don't even look like the type of person who'd stick around for a long time. I'm usually the only person of color in every store, restaurant, and group activity I've attended. People who say it's just me...don't understand the cards I'm being dealt!
