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Old 03-01-2014, 02:24 PM
 
13 posts, read 50,835 times
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I may have posted this wrongly in another section, and just got visually assaulted and battered by another member. I hope people aren't like that around here. The whole, "you won't be happy anywhere, just kill yourself" mentality

Anyhow...I don't see what's the issue. Basically, in a nutshell...I just find that after living in a city for awhile, usually after 1-2 years, things just stop working for me. I've never lived in NYC, or California though. The cities I live, are cities that in other states I hear people tell me, "ugh, I'd never move there. Too hot, too humid, too cold, too snowy, etc" So clearly there IS NO perfect city. But, it's nothing in particular I'm doing or not doing...but it almost seems that it just naturally happens after awhile. I'll admit I'm in the under 30s category, single and no kids. I spent the 1st 20 years of my life living in one state. I didn't have this 'urge' to leave because that's all I knew. Any talks of moving were frightening to me. When my X would talk to me about moving, I could never see myself leaving my home state.

Now some 10 years later, I finally understood everything my X was going thru at the time...and I feel so bad for making it seem like HE had an issue. He eventually moved on, and we've long lost contact.

When I say things 'stop working', it's everything from motivation to meeting people to work-related. I don't want to go into the long details of exactly what it is, but it's hard to explain. It's just the fact of there seems to eventually end up being the same old people, same old options, same old bars (and Lord, I'm so sick of the 2 or 3 bars my friends attend faithfully EVERY SINGLE WEEK), same everything. It's like dude, how do you not get tired of this same routine every week? I'm only sane because I travel as often as I can...but coming home afterwards, I just get frustrated all over again after a few days.

Is there anyone who have jobs/lifestyles that allow them to make these type of transitions? Also, why do people associate wanting to relocate often as some sort of character flaw?
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Old 03-01-2014, 02:37 PM
 
18 posts, read 47,877 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disconcerted View Post
I may have posted this wrongly in another section, and just got visually assaulted and battered by another member. I hope people aren't like that around here. The whole, "you won't be happy anywhere, just kill yourself" mentality

Anyhow...I don't see what's the issue. Basically, in a nutshell...I just find that after living in a city for awhile, usually after 1-2 years, things just stop working for me. I've never lived in NYC, or California though. The cities I live, are cities that in other states I hear people tell me, "ugh, I'd never move there. Too hot, too humid, too cold, too snowy, etc" So clearly there IS NO perfect city. But, it's nothing in particular I'm doing or not doing...but it almost seems that it just naturally happens after awhile. I'll admit I'm in the under 30s category, single and no kids. I spent the 1st 20 years of my life living in one state. I didn't have this 'urge' to leave because that's all I knew. Any talks of moving were frightening to me. When my X would talk to me about moving, I could never see myself leaving my home state.

Now some 10 years later, I finally understood everything my X was going thru at the time...and I feel so bad for making it seem like HE had an issue. He eventually moved on, and we've long lost contact.

When I say things 'stop working', it's everything from motivation to meeting people to work-related. I don't want to go into the long details of exactly what it is, but it's hard to explain. It's just the fact of there seems to eventually end up being the same old people, same old options, same old bars (and Lord, I'm so sick of the 2 or 3 bars my friends attend faithfully EVERY SINGLE WEEK), same everything. It's like dude, how do you not get tired of this same routine every week? I'm only sane because I travel as often as I can...but coming home afterwards, I just get frustrated all over again after a few days.

Is there anyone who have jobs/lifestyles that allow them to make these type of transitions? Also, why do people associate wanting to relocate often as some sort of character flaw?

I share your sentiment. I moved to VA from Jersey, seeking greener pastures. And I am bored to death here. Nothing against the area. Great houses, jobs, economy, but I have struggled so hard to even find someone where we share similar backgrounds, and all the former Jersey people I meet hide in shame where they come from.

Right now Im moving back to Jersey, but that doesnt stop me from venturing out my options of moving to Texas or California. This is a country of opportunities and options, and I emigrated from Colombia to keep experiencing them. Will I ever move to every state? No not really, but I can honestly say I can live in almost every place in this country, because of who I am, not what the area provides.
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Old 03-01-2014, 03:52 PM
 
541 posts, read 720,170 times
Reputation: 737
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disconcerted View Post
Is there anyone who have jobs/lifestyles that allow them to make these type of transitions? Also, why do people associate wanting to relocate often as some sort of character flaw?
I don't think it's a character flaw; more like a luxury to me. It is my dream to be able to live in one city for a few years, get all I can out of it, then move on to somewhere else. I would call it adventurous and maybe the "haters" are jealous?
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Old 03-01-2014, 04:00 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 4,155,052 times
Reputation: 6889
If after 1-2 years the new place quits 'working' for you it seems like the problem is more than the place. A 'place' won't make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself, give of yourself and engage with others. The 'place' is a very small part of life.

On the other hand, if you want to move every year or two - go for it. Why do you care what anyone else thinks?
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Old 03-01-2014, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Florida
22,252 posts, read 9,461,111 times
Reputation: 18180
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disconcerted View Post
I may have posted this wrongly in another section, and just got visually assaulted and battered by another member. I hope people aren't like that around here. The whole, "you won't be happy anywhere, just kill yourself" mentality

Anyhow...I don't see what's the issue. Basically, in a nutshell...I just find that after living in a city for awhile, usually after 1-2 years, things just stop working for me. I've never lived in NYC, or California though. The cities I live, are cities that in other states I hear people tell me, "ugh, I'd never move there. Too hot, too humid, too cold, too snowy, etc" So clearly there IS NO perfect city. But, it's nothing in particular I'm doing or not doing...but it almost seems that it just naturally happens after awhile. I'll admit I'm in the under 30s category, single and no kids. I spent the 1st 20 years of my life living in one state. I didn't have this 'urge' to leave because that's all I knew. Any talks of moving were frightening to me. When my X would talk to me about moving, I could never see myself leaving my home state.

Now some 10 years later, I finally understood everything my X was going thru at the time...and I feel so bad for making it seem like HE had an issue. He eventually moved on, and we've long lost contact.

When I say things 'stop working', it's everything from motivation to meeting people to work-related. I don't want to go into the long details of exactly what it is, but it's hard to explain. It's just the fact of there seems to eventually end up being the same old people, same old options, same old bars (and Lord, I'm so sick of the 2 or 3 bars my friends attend faithfully EVERY SINGLE WEEK), same everything. It's like dude, how do you not get tired of this same routine every week? I'm only sane because I travel as often as I can...but coming home afterwards, I just get frustrated all over again after a few days.

Is there anyone who have jobs/lifestyles that allow them to make these type of transitions? Also, why do people associate wanting to relocate often as some sort of character flaw?
I spent about 8 years after college moving around. I would go wherever I wanted to live and then move if I didn't like it (got jobs bartending). I tried a few places in CA and out west and then alternated between CT/MA and FL. Finally settled in NYC for 10 years. About NYC--when I decided I was moving to NYC all I got was negative feedback. "You'll never find an apartment or job...it is so expensive... it is so dirty...so much crime....yada yada yada." But when you know it is what you want to do, you find a way and things work out. First I got a job and started commuting from CT. Then through a guy at work, I found a great rent-stabilized apartment in NYC. Like $300 per month and it was on the upper East Side--very safe. Then after I moved into the city, I started temping and landed a permanent job at a national television news network. I am a true believer that if you know what you want, you can find a way to do it. Things click and work out. After 10 years, I decided I wanted to get out of NYC. Horrible winter with 17 blizzards and a recession made the decision for me. I picked Miami to move to as there are not a whole lot of places you can leave NYC for and and not be bored. Moved to South Beach. Found an apartment and another job in television. Met someone--got married.

The moral of the story is you absolutely cannot listen to others--especially all the things they tell you that you cannot do. Everything in life is filtered through a lens. When you listen to others, they are filtering it through their lens. They don't really know what you want, only what they think. People are different. I know people who stayed in our hometown and are still there. To me that would be death. I live in FL now, but want to move to Europe next. You have to know what you really want and when to cut your losses and move on. Don't listen to anyone but yourself. It can be really scary (the unknown), but also really exciting--just don't let fear of the unknown keep you from doing something you want to do.

It's bizarre to go on forums here and read others giving their opinions of places as if it were fact. It is only an opinion. You know yourself better than anyone else so you should do what you want to do despite being scared. The reason I decided to live like this is because when I was growing up in a CT suburb, all of my parents friends seemed "sort of happy, but not really." They had a lot of cocktail parties and looked wistful all the time. They all told me the same thing--travel while you're young with no responsibilities, do what you want, don't just settle--and I took their advice to heart.
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Old 03-01-2014, 04:47 PM
 
5,819 posts, read 5,178,928 times
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I've done this for my whole life, after college. The longest I've ever worked for one organization was a little over 4 years. The longest I've lived in one town was a little over 4 years. The longest I've lived in one region was 11 years.

Basically, all you have to do is have flexible skills. I have training and experience in three different but related professions, and although those professions ALL pay badly, there are always jobs available throughout the country. Because the jobs I do are advertised via national professional associations, I've always just applied for a job that looked interesting, gone out to the new place to interview, was offered the job then moved to the new place.

(I also confess to applying for and being offered many jobs I didn't take, mainly because I enjoy the challenge of an interview, and also because the organizations usually pay for my trip out to visit and interview with them. It's like a mini vacation I don't have to pay for!!! Yes, I'm evil and devious!)

The advantages are that there's always something new and different to see, new skills to learn, new people to meet. I've had an enormous amount of fun in my life.

The disadvantages are 1) not building long term personal relationships. Not everyone else can or wants to move so frequently, and kids do need stability. 2) getting a reputation as a job hopper has prevented me from rising into the upper ranks of my fields of work, which definitely has affected my earning power.

So, to answer your question, there's NOTHING wrong with the desire to live in a different place every couple of years. You just have to confront the fact that it will have an affect on other areas of your life.

If you can find a life partner who is willing to move along with you then you really have hit the jackpot!
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:00 PM
 
13 posts, read 50,835 times
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Originally Posted by Enigma777 View Post
Finally settled in NYC for 10 years. Like $300 per month and it was on the upper East Side--very safe.

The moral of the story is you absolutely cannot listen to others-- I live in FL now, but want to move to Europe next.

Thankyou, this post just made my day! And by the way, my X was from NYC also...and he would tell me all the things about how many cities in comparison to New York, you do it all in a day. And that's the point I'm trying to make about how that correlates into why after a couple years, I feel I've seen it all. Yes, I know I haven't seen every nook and cranny, every museum, every attraction, done every activity or met every person...but once you've done it, you've done it.

I'm still wondering how you found something for $300 a month in NYC? Must have been a broom-closet 20 years ago I have a friend I know who is attempting to do something similar, his 'allowance' is around $950/mo...but he's struggling and living in a bad area in some sort of homeless facility.

I would LOVE to move to Europe myself. I like your attitude. Although, unlike me...you seem to tolerate the places you live for the most part, until you move. With me, I usually leave with a BANG lol. It's like a leave hating the place, and I hate to do that...but it's just what happens. I hate the people I met and relationships that didn't work out, the jobs I reluctantly took and ended up miserable in, the apartment I lived in. It's like I leave not missing it at all -John Waite

But like Madonna said: "Other places always make me mad, other places always make me sad. No other place has never made me glad but New York..."
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:12 PM
 
13 posts, read 50,835 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post
The disadvantages are 1) not building long term personal relationships.
What, you mean having 5 or 6 ex's in 1 city? lol. I have a friend who has lived here his whole life. I always make an example out of him, poor guy. But he ****ing has a baby mama, 2 x girlfriends he still sees, and like a dozen x male boyfriends that he all hates. Everytime he goes out, it turns into some emotional back-tracking because he always sees someone he dated 10 years ago.

I used to talk to him all the time about moving, but he just can't do it. Too many ties here. I don't want to be 'that' guy lol.
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:14 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
29,987 posts, read 16,586,324 times
Reputation: 22555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
If after 1-2 years the new place quits 'working' for you it seems like the problem is more than the place. A 'place' won't make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself, give of yourself and engage with others. The 'place' is a very small part of life.

On the other hand, if you want to move every year or two - go for it. Why do you care what anyone else thinks?
I agree with this post. There is a difference between having a desire for a nomadic type lifestyle AND having to move every couple of years because things aren't 'working for you'.

I grew up an army brat; my hometown family (who can never, ever ever imagine leaving) thinks I'm insane.

However, other military folk I know are more like me. Some people just have some gypsy in their blood; they like to move.

Maybe you do too.

Nothing wrong with it, IMO.
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:20 PM
 
13 posts, read 50,835 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
I agree with this post. There is a difference between having a desire for a nomadic type lifestyle AND having to move every couple of years because things aren't 'working for you'.
Well that's the thing...my job is a nomadic type, which in turn facilitates a gypsy lifestyle lol. I can only clean, organize and decorate so many homes in an area lol. After awhile, it's time to go into another city and help.
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