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One important piece to the puzzle missing... Where is your current location? How is the housing market at your current location?
I would jump on getting a realtor rather than trying FSBO. Then aggressively stage the house, packing up all the clutter into a storage unit. Price your house to sell at the onset!
Know that it might be a bit challenging to find a rental that will accept 6 cats.
I would hope to sell first, this spring (good time to sell!), then buy a house in Arizona during the summer. I would let son go to Arizona university & plan on joining him soon!
Deep breaths & best of luck in your decisions. Keep us posted...!
Don't you think if you waited the 4 years there still would be fears and the same feelings towards moving?
I missed the part about having 6 cats and I would think that would make it very hard to find a rental.
What are you concerns in that the move may not work out? Just that you will not like the state in general? In your current state do you have other family or close friends you are leaving?
It really sounds like many of your concerns are fears of the unknown which is natural but in my opinion won't change in 4 years. With most moves there is a chance you have to take that it may not be the right place for you.
Thanks Everyone, the reason why we are rushed to move by summer is because my son was accepted to a college out there, he wants to go with us, if we don't move he has a college here that he has been accepted to. I would wait 4 years for him to finish here so he wouldn't have to transfer and he said he doesn't want to transfer out if he starts at one college. That's why we have based our move to work out around this, if we can't find a place to rent then we most likely won't move because we are going out again next month, we can't afford to keep flying out, we did a few weeks ago and then decided it's best not to buy and now we want to go out and look at rentals. My husband can transfer in as soon as we find a place. My high school son is fine with going to school out there, I think he is excited to go to a bigger school/more kids. I just stress thinking if this all doesn't work out then we will be stuck here for 4 more years, but the plus would be that we could save more money. I haven't handed my house over to a realtor yet, we were trying to sell it on our own and met with a realtor last week, we are going to hand it over to them once we get back from Arizona next month.
I have a feeling if we don't move my husband will talk about it every day until we can, he will probably say we should have just taken that chance and I will think it also, I would try to make the best of our situation here until we could move though, I am not one to sit in misery everyday, I try to make the best of everyday no matter what.
I don't want to move without my sons, I can't imagine being clear across the country away from them, plus they do want to move to Arizona, we all love it there.
Have you thought about what you are going to do when they have both graduated college, gotten married, have children and take a job across the country or even in another country?
Are you going to move with them?
You have to do what is right for you and your husband because your sons are becoming grown men and will be on their own in a very short time.
They will adapt to a new place and so will you once the financial stress of your current home being sold is over.
It is so normal. We did it almost two years ago and do not regret one thing. We moved from Long Island (NY) to Pittsburgh, with no jobs, sold 3 houses and a business, and gave up jobs. We had two boys (11 & 12) at the time. One was in 7th grade and the younger in 6th grade. They left their school friends and a house that we all loved.
Why did we do it ; Long Island got very expensive and I couldn't reason paying $10K a year each for the boys to attend parochial school ; our local public school was horrendous.
So we came, looked, found areas that fit the bill and pick dup and bit the bullet.
Fast forward to now ; I have a job that I like and am doing online classes to become a paralegal. My dh stayed at home for a while, went back to school for a semester and eventually got a job with his old employer. He has a rough commute but thats ok. The boys ; they are thriving. They have done things that would never be possible in NY, have had experiences that they love and settled down in school.
The point I am making is that while its scary, it turns out right in the end.
Hi Everyone, I am so stressed out and I can't seem to get it to go away. I am usually a very postiive person that can snap out of a bad mood and make the best of anything but right now I am worried because I can't seem to make a decision and it's making me so unhappy.
My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years and we have 2 sons, one about to start college and the other going into 11th grade. My husband and I have always wanted to move since we first got married but things fell into place here and we have lived a great life, very secure and able to travel all over with our boys since they were babies. As we have traveled we tried to find the place we want to move and last summer we finally did, Arizona. We fell in love and love everything about it. That was last July and then from that point on we have done nothing but plan and plan and plan.
We have been approved to buy a house out there and we came out 2 weeks ago and found some and even found one that we thought was the one but I didn't feel 100% about it and being that it's a huge purchase I told him let's wait and see if we can just rent because I don't want to buy something and then regret the area we buy in. Plus the utilties were going to be way too much and that's what made us realize we couldn't take a chance.
Our house is for sale here, my son was accepted to ASU out there, he has a college here picked out in case things don't go through, my husband can transfer anytime out there, but all of a sudden I am hit with this feeling of not wanting to move yet, I want to wait until my son finishes college here but my husband says if we don't move now we probaly never will. I am so scared, we haven't had any offers on the house so we would only make it out there 6 months, maybe a year paying 2 payments of rent and mortgage.
My husband and son want to move but say they will understand if I don't want to but it's all on me now to make the decision and right now I feel 50/50, I can't seem to get out of this mood of doubt and worries. We have 6 cats that we are taking also, my son starting highschool out there, my other son starting college, everything has to fall into place and if it doesn't I don't want to feel like I knew we should have waited, but if we don't move then I don't want to say I wish we would have.
I know you can't tell me what to do but any advice would be great. The things we love about Arizona are the weather (even the very hot days we came out in July), we love the amount of produce we can get since we eat raw vegan and where we live now it's more expensive and not even close to the amount of food we can get out there and it's cheaper, we love to hike, we love the sunshine, being close to CA is awesome, my husband will make the same amount out there that he does here, I can work remotely.
I feel like if we wait my husband and 1 son will never get over it or be very disappointed in me. My other son has no desire to move but doesn't care either way he said.
Moving is SCARY. Starting over in a new place is SCARY (and fun) but you don't see the fun right now. You see the work and the worry and all the fears that moving brings.
And . . you are right to be worried about having two house payments; that would be tough on most of us.
Aside from the selling of your house (which is a biggie) ~ it sounds to me like your family is ready to go. Your current town will still be there if things don't work out. IF I could find a way to make it happen; I'd probably go and give it a try. I think you might have regrets if you don't try.
Lots of people move away and move back home again - so it's not like you have to stay there if you don't like it.
Your wrench in the works right now is the selling of your house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Geek
It's scary because change is scary. More so for some than others. I don't have much advice but I've moved many times around the country and before each move I get really stressed. That said, every move has worked out wonderfully!
Best of luck
Ditty those x 100.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bongo
One important piece to the puzzle missing... Where is your current location? How is the housing market at your current location?
I would jump on getting a realtor rather than trying FSBO. Then aggressively stage the house, packing up all the clutter into a storage unit. Price your house to sell at the onset!
Know that it might be a bit challenging to find a rental that will accept 6 cats.
I would hope to sell first, this spring (good time to sell!), then buy a house in Arizona during the summer. I would let son go to Arizona university & plan on joining him soon!
Deep breaths & best of luck in your decisions. Keep us posted...!
We left Nj in 07 moved 4 times since then, we moved in my son's senior year he was fine with it..my daughter was moved around to so many different schools, due to my husband being offered a great job working with people he worked with many many years ago gave us the oppty to move back home to NJ..z
our daughter is in 8th grade and in a new school was not happy, but is so happy to be with the family again..She is doing fantastic in school..point being, change isnt always a bad thing, for us it was we never should have left in the 1st place, but in the end we are where we want to be...our son went to one college from Aug to Dec, started a new school for this semester and is transferring in the fall to a university here...
My only advice us, sell your home 1st and see where life takes you at that point
Wow, reading all this and can relate but I'm in the thick of it all. We decided to leave Long Island and start fresh. My boys, 19 and 23 decided they wanted to go too.
Put our house on the market (FSBO) and sold in a week. We didn't expect that but we did everything in our power to make the house perfect for showing.
We just closed 10 days ago and are living at my moms house (this is incredibly stressful in and of itself) to help my father with his hip operation. At the end of the month we are packing up two of our cars (with two pug dogs too) and driving down to Tennessee. I don't even know how I am going to fit our immediate needs into our cars. All of our belongings (11 rooms of furniture) are in storage.
This is so stressful and I am so scared. We were going to put a bid in on a beautiful home but I was insure. Then I wanted to put a bid in on my favorite house. Just as we were about to submit the bid my agent told me the house went into contract.
We have no choice but to rent an apartment as we returned from TN 4 days before closing and saw practically every house on the market within our price range.
My boys want to know when we will be moving into a home. My husband thinks I am indecisive, which I am. I am so scared of making the wrong decision. So when I'm in my own head I start to think maybe I made a mistake, maybe we should have stayed in our home. We had everything just the way we loved.
I feel paralyzed with fear. Even the trip to drive down is stressing me out. And we still have to get our other cars down.
I can relate to your stress and indecisiveness. Everything happened so fast for us I never had a change to think about NOT moving. Now it's days away and I am homeless and freaking out.
Sunshine Girl; You are having very normal feelings but, that said, how much more research and planning are you going to do before you drive yourself (and your sons) nuts?
People are moving here in droves, and they are finding good houses, good schools and lots of stuff to do. Your sons will love AZ.
ASU is awesome, sports teams here are great, weather (except for summer) is wonderful and people are very friendly. Are you worried about not knowing people or what? There must be something else you are worrying about that you haven't determined. If you can handle the two house payments for 5 or 6 months, then, don't rent ! Bring all the cats !!! Buy a house with a backyard pool ! Come and enjoy! Barb
Where are you moving from? I currently live in AZ but would love to move back east! Funny! I am glad you've been here in the summer...it is LONG and HOT. On the flipside the winters are nice! Let us know what you decide!
Thanks Everyone, I live in PA and it's VERY depressing here, we just had one of the worst winters in a very long time, it still hasn't left yet and Spring is supposed to be here. The sun isn't out very much and it's very boring here. We drive 1.5 hours to get to Trader Joes and Whole Foods, that's one way! Believe me the list of why we should leave outweighs the one on why we should wait longer. I still have no offers on the house and the security of knowing I can make it here and be able to help my son more with paying for college makes me think we should wait until he is done here with college. By that time we would have even more money saved. I feel like I am making excuses though. The closer I get to moving, the more scared and doubtful I am. Something tells me to wait longer, my husband though says if we wait we will never move.
We were going to buy a house but we can't make up our minds where to live since there are so many areas out there. We have found a few people who will rent to us with all of our cats, just hoping those places are still available next month when we come out or we find someone else to rent to us.
My life is about to change in everyway possible, exciting but at the same time so scary!
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