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Have you talked with our mom about what her long range plans/dreams are? I'm assuming that the grandmother who has been ill is her mom. What would she do if her mom passes in the near future? would she remain where she is or might she consider a change of place - not necessarily to LA near you but anywhere, FL, or AZ or ??? If you stay in LA are they likely to want to come and visit often or are they serious homebodies?
I think that a visit back "home" and some good talks with them would help you have a better picture and hopefully ease your mind.
I don't think you're being a baby, but I have to ask this. Do you feel you've given LA a fair chance? If you're spending the majority of your time there focusing on how much you miss your friends and family, you might be missing out on meeting what could be some great friends out there or enjoying what LA has to offer. 7 1/2 months isn't that long and you're probably still trying to figure out the whole LA culture, which would make it hard to enjoy.
Also, have you told your boyfriend about the problems you're having? I know you said that he said he would NEVER move back, but was that in response to you wanting to move back or was it just something he said after he saw or experienced something he really liked that couldn't happen back in Philadelphia? If it's in response to something you said, then you might want to question your relationship anyway because you agreed to move out there to make him happy, and I'm sure you felt you'd be happy too, but now he's saying that no matter what your feelings are, he wouldn't go back. If he said it as a reaction to something he saw/experienced out there, then maybe you're underestimating him. He may not be as much in love with LA as you think he is or he's wanting you to think. He could think that you love it and want you to think he's happy out there also.
If the situation was reversed and you loved it out there, but he was having problems adjusting, how would you handle it if he approached you and wanted to move back? Would you just dismiss the idea without considering it at all or would you have a mature conversation with him about it and reach an adult decision as a couple?
I do think that regardless of what decision is ultimately made, you should definitely plan a trip home for a few days. Maybe, no matter how close you are to your family, they'll remind you of why you moved away in the first place. I'm not saying your family is like that, but it's possible. Then again, maybe they'll help you decide that you need to move back, with or without your boyfriend.
I moved from a small city in NH to Vista California. I tried to stick it out...but after 3 years realized....it wasn't for me. I moved back to Northern New England and after 3 years decided I couldn't take the winters anymore. Now I have been living in Florida for 2 years.....I don't think I will ever want to move again...it is too hard and I really love Florida....still.
I bet you do move back home and I don't think that is a bad thing.....and sticking it out for awhile longer...doesn't sound like it would change anything. Good Luck!
I think you should move back and do it because you want too not because you have too . You might end up so depressed you may never come out of it ...and that is the long and short of it and no one can tell you what is right , only you can do that .
My bet is that you are a little homesick, and a visit will get it out of your system, and you'll be glad to come "home" to LA.
^^What he says.
And when you get back, revise your financial budget to allow for a couple of trips "home" every year.
Give it some more time and then decide if you really would rather live near your family. If so, and your boyfriend refuses to move back, part ways BEFORE you have a life-changing event such as marriage or a child. Then you'll have real problems.
My bet is that you are a little homesick, and a visit will get it out of your system, and you'll be glad to come "home" to LA.
EHHH... This one is rough, just from personal experience. I have not lived in my home town for almost 8 years now and every time we go back I fall into a deeps slump for weeks at a time... Plan a move back and then some other offer comes along that we can't refuse. Most times it just feels like I am not meant to be there and it tears me apart.
I moved out of my Mom's house when I was 17, to Philadelphia, for college (about 3 hours away from where my family lives). I am 23 now and this past September I moved to LA with my boyfriend. His company relocated us and paid for everything. I have a full time job in my field, but it's miserable and stressful. We get along great and live in a nice apartment and everything is comfortable.
The past 2 months, I can't stop thinking about how homesick I am. I miss my mom and my friends. My grandmother has just become ill and I feel so terrible about not being there to spend time with her. I never felt like this in Philly (maybe because it was a short trip home?) We have friends here, but I don't feel a connection with them like any of my friends from the east coast. There is no sense of community here, everyone is a tourist.
Recently I've been considering either moving back in with my mom (she lives alone) or moving back to Philadelphia. I feel terrible because I agreed to move out here, but my boyfriend says he would NEVER move back (and he can easily transfer locations through his company). Am I being too selfish to leave? I can't imagine starting a family out here and not having my children spend time with their grandparents, etc. I don't understand how he doesn't miss his family at all.
I was also considering taking an extended trip home (2 months or so), but that would not be great financially.
Do I really hate LA or am I just looking for excuses? Everyone says I am crazy for wanting to leave haha.
The weather is great, but it just doesn't feel like home to me. Has anyone else had this issue? Did you get over it with time? (I have been here 7 1/2 months). Am I being a huge baby about the whole thing?
Saw that with some in my life and others are much more adaptable but you hardly have had time to adjust. I'd give it more time. If after a year ;do what your heart tells you to. One problem maybe that you can leave since its just your boyfriend. Marriage causes people think different and try hard to make a life.
When we moved here (in Wyoming) my wife and I both disliked the town, but my job offer was too great to turn down. We both agreed that we'd stay for 4-5 years to save up enough money for me to buy the business I wanted but no longer. Did I say my wife hated it? She was VERY homesick.
Two years later I located the business I wanted and gave notice at work. They came back with a better offer which included ownership. I said no; my wife said yes. We stayed. Another 8 years and I sold out with the intention of moving. Again, even after having sold my business and making plans to buy another in a beautiful mountain town, my wife decided she didn't want to move!
I think most people can get over homesickness, and people are the same all over the country. You've just got to get involved in the new community before you can feel a part of it, and when that happens, you'll find your niche.
Put some money into a travel account and keep it funded. This way you'll always know that you're only a plane ride away from "home". In our case, I'm a pilot, so we bought a good cross country airplane that we could zip home in. (We moved from one rural area to another in another state.) In your case it's metro to metro, so an airline would be the best. A few bucks placed into a special account each week will make you feel less isolated. You NEED that.
For some people it doesn't matter to them so much where they live, and to others, like you, it does. Many years ago my husband and I moved because he got a raise. We hated where we lived and could not wait to get out. Finally after 5 years he took a voluntary demotion so that we could move back where we were. The difference with you is that your boyfriend does not want to go back, so if you moved there your relationship with him may likely end. I think the idea of an extended vacation sounds good. If nothing else you'll probably have an answer as to if you really want to be in your hometown, or are fine visiting now and then. You will also have time to think about your relationship and what you want to do about that.
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