How long are you willing to wait to make friends in a new place? (relocation, moved to)
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I was chatting with a friend of a friend who had recently relocated. She said the reason she left her former town was because she wasn't making any friends. She had only lived there for a year. To me that seemed like a pretty short time to give up on a place for not making friends. Maybe it's just because I've lived in small towns where people can be a bit reserved and it takes time to make friends, but I think I would give it more than one year. Would any of you move to a new town after living there for a year and not making friends?
I have always found, it is easier to make friends in a small town, than in a larger city. If you are friendly and outgoing with them, stick your hand out in friendship, people in a small town will want to make friends with you. Tell them how great you think the area is, and ask them to give you some hints on what you should see in the area. Ask their advice.
If on the other hand, you are one of those that keep telling people about how great it is in the city like the one they came from, and that the locals should change to more like the city people, they will shun you and you will never make friends.
It is your personal attitude that means if you make friends or you do not.
In practice, I haven't lived anywhere where it's been longer than a month before I was having lunches or coffee with new people. I'd say within three months I had several casual friends. And I'm no social butterfly, by any means!
It takes me longer than a year to develop deeper friendships. Those just take time and can't be rushed.
I should add that I'm from the Midwest and moved within the Midwest. I imagine there might be a different outcome if I had moved to a tiny town in the deep South, although I would've done my best to always be polite and never say something like, "Up North, we . . . ." That's a deal breaker right there.
The fastest way to make friends is to go do things that really interest you! Just turn off the computer and go. I find that to be the biggest problem with people in my real life who complain about no social life (and want one). They just make tons of excuses instead of getting out there.
Of course, there are some people who really want to be alone for various reasons.
I have always found, it is easier to make friends in a small town, than in a larger city. If you are friendly and outgoing with them, stick your hand out in friendship, people in a small town will want to make friends with you. Tell them how great you think the area is, and ask them to give you some hints on what you should see in the area. Ask their advice.
If on the other hand, you are one of those that keep telling people about how great it is in the city like the one they came from, and that the locals should change to more like the city people, they will shun you and you will never make friends.
It is your personal attitude that means if you make friends or you do not.
I think in a small town it can be hard even if you are friendly as I have found that a lot of people tend to want to get to know you in a small town before they become friends, which is understandable. At least that's been my experience in small towns. I will agree that a city is probably more difficult. Back the original question though, I think a year isn't giving a place much of a chance to make friends. It can take time and one should be patient. If it's been several years then that could be a different story.
You want friends, join a local church, community theater group, etc. get out around people. Some areas are easier to make friends, just the nature of people. We have already met our neighbors on the home we are buying. Nice folks.
My first few months (2-4) are not focused on making friends, but I do if the opportunity presents itself. I'm more focused on a successful start to my career at a new company and settling into the new area.
I found when I am working, it is easy to make close friends.
Now retired, it's more difficult in new towns.
If there is a hiking group, then I have it made!
Great topic, WyoEagle!
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